The Empty Ones (Fantasy Romance)

42. Freedom and loyalty

I return exhausted and dirty to my room, but feeling so very alive.

It's already late, and the handmaids are gone, but Hara is waiting for me with a drawn bath.

Her eyes are teary. I move silently towards her and envelope her scrawny figure into a hug.

"Little Mistress, what has he done to you?" She cries loudly and hugs me tightly. "I thought you were going to die. If your parents were alive, he could never do that."

"But they are not, Hara." And I am not sure my father would have done anything. About my mother, I don't know. It doesn't matter anyway.

"Little Mistress, I cannot watch you suffer. I cannot watch you die."

I want to tell her it will not happen, but I cannot truly know.

"I want to get away from here," I whisper into the hug.

She looks at me as if I said something outrageous, because I did.

"Where would you go? Little Mistress Zaretha doesn't know how dangerous the world is."

"Indeed. But I am willing to risk it to be free. Here the enemy is my husband..." I pause, then take a deep breath and continue. "I want to go to Tajir and from there to board a ship to the Ashen Continent."

She looks at me with major concern.

"But... I am not sure how to get there," I confess, rather embarrassed.

Hara looks at the floor, then she starts whispering, "By the west route along the shore to the Emerald ocean. I have never been, but travellers usually come from there. There is also the one through the Red Desert, but now with all the bandits, that's way more dangerous."

"So, you will help me?"

She hesitates, and that makes me uneasy.

"You don't have to. I will do it on my own, but please don't tell him. I don't want you to have problems, but my mind is made up. So please don't."

"I would never betray you, little mistress."

I knew as much for sure.

"I need coin and clothes that common people wear."

Hara nods, but she is also hesitant.

"I know you are afraid. You don't have to help. It's too dangerous."

"It's not that, little mistress. It's that you are still half a child in my eyes, and I am afraid you will not survive out there."

And that concern is very legitimate.

"I grew up half the time like a commoner, Hara. I will be fine." I try to reassure her and myself at the same time.

When it was dark outside and the halls of the palace were empty, I made my way to the library to finish the first task.

The door was, to my surprise, unlocked. So, Lady Nefri just forbade me to come without thinking she really needed to enforce it.

I step inside and am in awe. Even in the faint light of the purple moon, it's simply impressive. As big as the library in the priority, and just as magnificent.

It takes me quite some time to find my way in the dark, helped only by a small candle, but I do in the end.

There is a thick tome called "Compendium of the Continent of Quemered" on one of the lower shelves.

I crack it open and search for maps. It's full of them. A whole chapter. But. It's a big and heavy book. I would love to read it, but I just assume I never will. I take a deep breath, thinking off ripping the pages with the maps out as cleanly as possible. The volume is sewn together, so I only need to loosen and cut the thread. I do, with my teeth, sigh and put the rest of the book back.