The Empty Ones (Fantasy Romance)

64. Hard

The fact that I find Thessarion likeable even if he is a man who goes to certain places and does certain nasty things to women is a cause of controversy and unease inside myself.

There is Prince Dair and there's the General, two other men I harbored sympathy for. But about them I do not know for certain that they attend such places and do such things. The prince likely doesn't. That's my feeling. And the General...? He is so righteous but that night I met him right in the midst of the Orchids's quarter.

Or is it just me who wants to find excuses for liking to spend time with Thessarion and talking about the world and the selfish joy I found in myself when he was kind regarding my emptiness, and my strange situation as a whole. Can one be kind and still do horrible things? Would Theon do things like Sahib Aldam did to Chioma, to dishonor and take from one the desire to live?

I sigh and turn in my sheets. It's still early. On the little bracelet device Thessarion gave me it says eleven and a half. I could get used to this. It will be a pity when he will want it back. Unlike other jewelry, this one is useful.

Theon, why do you make it so hard for me to dislike you?

So deep in though, I hear only after a while that someone's knocking.

Gods. It's not the Emperor because he wouldn't knock. It's not Theon because he wouldn't use the door. So it's likely a servant sent with some business, lady Nefri or... the General, who I have upset lately.

Another impatient knock. I take a deep breath and open the door and am immediately stunned.

"Laini?"

"Took you long enough..." She is in her night grown, hair prepared for bed and alone. No handmaid is with her, unlike usually. "Can I come in?" she asks, pressing her lips together to show her displeasure.

"Of course!" I gesture her hastyly to enter.

"Where's Theon?"

Not here as you see, I feel like saying but don't. I know better than to upset her.

"Lysander doesn't know. Which is suspicious. I am afraid something happened to him," she continues.

"No. He is fine, I guess. We were in the library and our husband invited him to join a gathering."

"What kind of gathering?" Laini squints in displeasure.

"Well... Uh... One in the evening with... Uh... Women."

Laini frowns deeply.

"God. A gathering with women and probably halucinogenes. We need to get him out of there," she says decisively.

"Since when do you care about what happens to him? I thought you don't like each other. Or do you?"

I mean the 'Theon you need to help me' from the library that night was enough to understand that their relationship is more than meets the eye but I want her to tell me.

"Theon is annoying and presumptuous and has a bit of a god complex but he is also the only one who stands in the way of my husband taking over our country. And he is smart. That I give him. And when he wants something he gets it or dies trying."

"It seems you do like him after all..." I state, matter of factly.

"I can admire some things about a person without agreeing with everything they do. I can recognize their worth without necessarily liking them..." Laini states trying to keep her voice from betraying nervousness, yet it does.

It's an unusual event seeing Laini like this, a bit uneasy, trying to justify herself, asking me for help. At the same time she shines unwilling a light on my own dilemma. Can you like someone without agreeing with everything they do?