Sacrifice

Chapter Thirty-Six

About two hours after the first bell rang, Crybaby was in her second class suffering through the teacher's lecture. She took Ben's advice and tried to focus on only that. Her eyes welled up with tears every time she thought too hard about what was happening. Angelita was in similar condition as she was also in class trying to keep her composure. Luckily for her, she sat in the last row of her classroom, almost against the wall, where she could silently cry without anyone seeing. She couldn't focus on her work at all, unlike Crybaby. All she could do was hyperfocus on little things such as objects or sounds around her to avoid focusing on the pain in her heart. In Crybaby's classroom, her teacher flipped the page of the textbook he was reading from during his lecture. She looked out the window of the room that faced into the hallway and she noticed two girls with passes in their hands walking down the hall. They seemed to be good friends as they were talking and laughing. Crybaby felt a sore pain in her chest as she watched them enter the restroom together, something her and Angelita used to do when they wanted to skip a few minutes of class. Her eyes watered and she took deep breaths, trying to stop herself from crying. The boy she was sitting next to looked at her. Crybaby didn't notice. She wiped a tear from under her eye and let out a quiet whimper because she could feel herself losing control. The girl in front of her turned around. Crybaby then looked up and noticed the boy and girl, as well as a couple other students who were now looking at her. A tear fell from her other eye as she scoffed. "What the hell are you looking at?" she asked them angrily. The teacher stopped in the middle of his lecture and looked up at the students. "Is there a problem?" he asked in a bothered tone. Crybaby shook her head and suddenly stood up from her seat, then walked to the door and began to exit the classroom without saying a word. She heard her teacher telling her to return immediately, but she didn't care. The heavy metal door shut behind her and she quietly cried as she walked across the hall to the restrooms. She walked in and stood in front of a sink, then turned on the water and let it pour onto her hands. She patted some of the cold water onto her face and eyes, then looked at herself in the mirror as she wiped her supple skin. She let out a sigh as she saw how tired and sad she looked. A toilet flushed and a stall door opened behind her, and she looked down to avoid making eye contact with either of those girls she saw. A girl walked up to the sink next to her and washed her hands, then passed by her to grab a paper towel from the dispenser on the wall. As this girl passed behind Crybaby, the scent that came off of her was familiar. Crybaby turned her head and saw Celeste standing there drying her hands. They looked at each other for a moment before Celeste cleared her throat. "Hi," she said. Crybaby sniffled, "Hey."

"You look..." Celeste thought carefully of what her next words would be, "...rough."

"Thanks," Crybaby said, staring off.

"So does Angelita."

Crybaby looked back at Celeste and frowned. "You've spoken with her?"

Celeste nodded, "Yeah, we've been speaking a lot. She really needs me right now."

Crybaby sighed, putting her hand on her face as she tried not to start crying again. "I miss her. I did it because I love her. I only wanted to-"

"Please, Crybaby, I thought you would've stopped this by now," Celeste cut her off. Crybaby sniffled and looked at her, eyebrows furrowed. "What? I just lost my best friend, and I can't cry?" she asked.

"You can. In fact, you should," Celeste said and then paused for a moment. "Look, I'm not trying to rub salt in your wounds or anything, but I still don't think you understand. This isn't a mishap, it's a consequence."

"I know, I know-" Crybaby started.

"No, you don't. Angelita is in shambles over this and taking care of her is now my responsibility. After I've been biting my tongue for months. Fleur and Magnolia were in the dark as to why our friend group was split up again. And let me ask you something..." Celeste moved closer to Crybaby. Crybaby looked up at her nervously.

"Did you ever ask Ben how he felt about this whole situation?" Celeste asked. Crybaby hesitated to answer. "Well, he said he was alright with it."

Celeste merely chuckled and shook her head. "Did he now? Do you think he might've just been saying that because he's in love with you and wouldn't dare interfere with what you had going on? Even though he has his own shit going on and he doesn't deserve that from you?"

"But he was always my first choice," Crybaby argued.

"And that's fucked up to Angelita. Ben, too. Hell, neither of them should be 'choices' to anyone!" Celeste raised her voice, tightly scrunching up the paper towel she was still holding in her hand. Two tears fell from Crybaby's eyes as she looked down, a sharp pain in her chest. Celeste deeply inhaled, "You know what, Crybaby? I'm done talking to you about this. And not because you don't understand, but because you do. I know you know what you've done wrong, and you always have. That's why you can't stand looking at yourself in the mirror, why you're scared to face Angelita, and why you're struggling to listen to me. You need to accept the consequences. That is my genuine advice on how you can make this better for yourself," Celeste explained. Crybaby stayed silent, really processing her words for the first time. "I'm... sorry," Crybaby said quietly.

"I know you are," Celeste sighed. She reached out and patted Crybaby's shoulder. "Take care, Crybaby," she said. She threw the crumpled paper towel into the garbage can by the wall and walked off. Crybaby turned around and watched her as she exited the restroom, assuming that would be the last time they speak. She then turned to the mirror and stared at her reflection for a minute, thinking hard about what Celeste said. This was the first time she let everything catch up to her. From the day she had that phone call with Celeste to ask what she should do about Angelita, she'd been in denial about her selfishness. As Crybaby was deep in thought, she was startled by the bell ringing. She heard classroom doors opening and kids talking. The door of the biggest stall in the restroom opened and the two girls Crybaby saw in the hallway emerged from it, looking at her as they exited the restroom. Crybaby looked back at them through the mirror, knowing they'd heard everything but not caring too much. She wiped her teary eyes again and sniffled as she walked out of the restroom. If one thing was for sure, it was that she wouldn't be able to focus at all during her next class.