Sacrifice

Chapter Thirty

Crybaby was sitting in her classroom fidgeting, unable to focus on getting any work done. This was her last class before lunch, which was her deadline to come up with a lie to tell Angelita. She started thinking hard and looking around. From outside the window of her classroom door, she saw the restrooms. This gave her a bad idea, but it was also her only idea. She got up and went to the teacher's desk to ask for a hall pass, then excused herself to the restroom. She went inside a stall knowing she was about to be making a sacrifice. Several minutes later, Crybaby was walking back to class, bleeding with no tampon plugging her up. And the rest of that class seemed to be the most uncomfortable time period she'd ever have to sit through. After what felt like an eternity, the bell rung. Crybaby quickly stood up and grabbed her bag off of the back of her chair. She hoped there was no blood on the seat, but she didn't have time to check, as bad as she felt about it. While walking down the hallway, she noticed Angelita wasn't waiting by the doors like she usually was. Crybaby spotted her outside the cafeteria doors instead, her arms crossed. She approached her and Angelita looked her up and down. "So?" she said in a sharp tone. Crybaby sighed, "Just come with me." Crybaby walked to the restrooms inside the cafeteria and Angelita followed behind her, closing the door once they entered the largest stall together. Crybaby started, "Look, it's no big deal. When I was walking into the courtyard this morning, Ben saw me and he came up to me to offer his hoodie so I could hide this," she turned around and pulled up the hoodie to reveal a blood stain on the back of her grey leggings. Angelita's eyes widened, "Oh, shit. I'm sorry, I get it now," she winced.

"Yep," Crybaby nodded.

"Do you have what you need?"

"Yeah, I'm good now."

"Sorry for getting mad earlier," Angelita almost laughed, "I didn't think it was something like this."

Crybaby jokingly rolled her eyes, "It's okay."

"Well, let's go," Angelita opened the stall door and gestured for Crybaby to come with her. Crybaby stayed back, "Actually, give me a few minutes. You can go back out, though," she told her.

"Oh, okay," Angelita smiled at her and left the stall. Crybaby closed and locked the stall door, then got a tampon out of her bag. She unraveled quite a bit of toilet paper so she could try and clean up her mess below. Angelita went back into the cafeteria and before she entered the lunch line, she noticed Ben. He wasn't sitting at his usual table, and he was staring at the doors. It looked like he was waiting for someone. She stared for a few seconds contemplating, and then decided to go talk to him. She was anxious as she walked up from behind him. "Hey," she said as she tapped his shoulder. Ben turned around fast and looked surprised to see Angelita instead of Crybaby. "Oh, hey," he said in a confused tone, "What's up?"

"May I?" she gestured toward the empty seat next to him.

"Go ahead, I guess," he said. She took a seat and faced him, "Are you waiting for somebody?" she asked.

"Uh... Sort of."

"Who would that be?" Angelita tilted her head. Ben hesitated for a moment. "Oh, don't worry about it. But I heard you were going to be absent today. A doctor appointment or something?" he said.

"I just came in late. But I'm assuming you heard this from Crybaby, right?" Angelita asked. Ben stammered.

"...She's the only one I told. I also assume she's the person you're waiting for?" she continued.

"Well, we were going to sit together because we thought you weren't going to be here," Ben said cautiously. Angelita leaned forward a bit, and Ben subconsciously sat up straighter. "Why?" she asked him.

"'Why' what? Why did we want to sit together?" Ben asked. Angelita nodded. He snickered, "Because we're friends. Good friends," he said. She just kept staring at him.

"...Listen, the fact that I'm a guy she used to like last year doesn't make me dangerous."

"That's not what I said. I'm not threatened by you," Angelita said in an irritated tone.

"Then, what is your problem?" Ben scoffed. He realized that might've been a mistake afterwards. Angelita looked at him for a few seconds and then put her head down. "I just couldn't help but notice she's wearing your hoodie," she said calmly. Ben froze up. She looked up at him again, taking in his reaction. "...But it's okay, Crybaby explained the situation," she continued. 

"Well, I just couldn't help but notice you get a bit... How should I word it...? Bent out of shape, perhaps, whenever Crybaby and I spend time together?" Ben said.

Angelita opened her mouth to defend herself but had nothing to say.

"...But it's okay, I'm sure Crybaby will be able to cool you down. That's what she's best at, right?" he chuckled.

Angelita narrowed her eyes. "You know she has other friends she could've sat with today? What makes you the lucky one?" she began to stand up. Ben stood up as well. "I was the only one who knew you were going to be absent because I was the only one she talked to today," he said.

"Okay," Angelita slowly nodded and stepped a little closer to him, "I think you should cherish the time you get to spend with her, because you're not her first priority. She only wanted to sit with you today because I wasn't here. Let that sink in."

Ben prepared to snap at her, but he took a deep breath and kept his mouth shut. For Crybaby. Angelita gave him a bitchy smile, "Thank you for your time," she said and then walked away. Crybaby was just leaving the restroom. Angelita spotted her and walked up to her. "Hey," Crybaby said when she was in front of her. Angelita didn't say anything. Crybaby tilted her head as she looked at her, "Why do you look so upset?" she asked.

"I just... had a talk with someone," Angelita said. Crybaby confusedly looked behind Angelita for a clue as to who this someone was. She saw Ben at her table, staring at her and Angelita with a twisted expression on his face. They made eye contact for a few seconds, then he slung his backpack over his shoulder, got up and walked away. Crybaby looked back at Angelita. "Did you talk to Ben?" she asked. Angelita nodded, "He said you were going to sit with him today."

Fear came over Crybaby as she wondered what their conversation could've been like. "Yeah, I was going to. But isn't that okay? We're friends," Crybaby said.

"But why not Celeste, or Magnolia, or Fleur? Why is Ben always your next choice?" Angelita asked with some desperation in her voice.

"Angelita, I'm not picking and choosing. I love the girls, with all my heart. But I didn't speak to them today. I guess Ben and I have a... different bond," Crybaby explained.

"'A different bond'. That's for sure," Angelita said. Crybaby sighed, "Don't say that. Him and I are friends, you and I are..." she paused, Angelita staring at her impatiently, "...us. Do you think anything is still going on between him and I?" she asked, not realizing until after how mendacious of a question that was. Angelita thought about everything for a minute. She felt like she was uncovering something. 'The hoodie, their backup plan, how defensive they are towards me,' she thought to herself, '...Well, they must be defensive because I'm offensive. I must notice these inconsistencies only because I look for them. I must be insecure. I'm the problem. Poor Crybaby is so patient with me.'

Angelita came to her conclusion and looked at Crybaby again sadly, "I'm sorry," she said. Crybaby held her hand, the way she would've if they were still just best friends. "...I'm so insecure. I keep convincing myself there's still something there between you two, but I know there isn't. I know you," Angelita said. Crybaby nodded, "It's okay, I get it. I just want you to trust me, okay?" she told her comfortingly. Angelita's eyes watered a bit as she looked down at Crybaby's hand holding hers. "Hey," Crybaby said, and Angelita looked back up at her, "...Let's move on from this."

Angelita nodded and wiped her eyes, "Yeah. How about we get some food?" she asked.

"Sounds good," Crybaby smiled at her. The two of them walked to the lunch line. As they were walking, Crybaby scanned the cafeteria and tried to find Ben. He was nowhere to be found. She sighed, letting everything sink in. Ben was bound to reach the end of his line soon. Angelita believed she was the problem. Crybaby was gaslighting her, and she was too far into it now. How did it get this far? She recalled what she'd said to Celeste on the phone that day; "I won't let it get that far."

While they were waiting in line, Angelita randomly turned to her and kissed her on the cheek. Crybaby almost felt sick.