Sacrifice

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Crybaby got no work done in her third class. Instead, she only watched the clock as if the fifty minutes she was in that classroom were just a time period intended to make her suffer until lunch. About a minute before the bell would ring, she heard shuffling and zippers as the students got ready for dismissal. She pushed her notebook into her bookbag and waited, her stomach in knots. In a few seconds the bell rung, and all the students quickly made their way to the door. Crybaby stood up and tried to squeeze into the crowd. Eventually, she made it past the kids who were joking and play fighting and she was able to rush to the cafeteria. From afar, she could see Ben already waiting outside the doors, presumably for her. She sighed and approached him, already feeling her eyes sting. He walked up closer to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, baby. You okay?" he asked softly. She looked up at him; the sadness in her eyes answered his question. He sighed, "I know. You must be missing her so much-"

"That's not what this is about anymore," she said, her voice breaking as a few tears escaped her eyes. Ben looked around at the students surrounding them, entering and exiting the cafeteria doors they were standing by. "Hey, come with me," he said, gently taking Crybaby by her forearm to bring her to a different location. She sniffled and trudged along with him. From her peripheral vision, she could see kids looking at her and muttering things to one another. The way people preyed on someone's misery would always be baffling to her. Ben stopped underneath a staircase and turned to her. "Talk to me here," he said. She looked down and took a few deep breaths before she could speak. "I... am so sorry for what I've put you through," she said, another tear falling from her eye. Ben snickered and shook his head. "What do you mean? I'm okay. You're not," he said.

"Ben, I've been so fucking selfish these last few months. I know you weren't really okay with what was happening between Angelita and I, and all the ways it affected us. All the caution we had to take whenever we'd see each other. Our plans always revolving around the mess I created. Downright lying and double-crossing; none of it was fair to you," she paused, "And I didn't even consider that," she said with a voice crack. Ben stood there in silence for a moment. Her words hit more sore spots than he knew he had. In a moment, he cleared his throat. "You're right. It wasn't fair, and I probably shouldn't have acted like I was so alright with it," he said. Crybaby sniffled and put her head down, bracing herself for what could come next. She expected him to realize his worth and leave to find someone better. Or to become angry with her and storm off. "...But I'm not upset at you," Ben stated. Crybaby looked up at him and furrowed her eyebrows. "How?" she asked.

"You're genuinely apologizing for what you've done wrong, and you're letting me make my own judgement. I'm sure you expect me to leave, but I'm not going to, because I forgive you. And the love I have for you hasn't changed at all, Crybaby," he explained. Crybaby slightly shook her head. "I don't deserve you," she said quietly. Ben moved closer to her and wrapped her up in a hug. She rested her head on his chest and held onto him tighter than ever, as he was the one thing she hadn't lost. She continued crying and Ben rubbed her back, tears streaming down from his eyes as well. "We need each other. We'll get through this, and we'll be okay, baby," he assured her. Crybaby nodded. He kissed the top of her head, and they stood there hugging each other for a while. They knew they both needed it.