farewell - kavetham / haikaveh

09 | the apology

kaveh woke up from his sleep and quickly got out of bed to check the time. it was 7 o'clock and the sun had already risen.

he plopped back down on his bed. what did he just dream of? it was a dream full of him and alhaitham. was it a sign for him to apologize?

he decided to get out of his room to grab some water, also in hopes of seeing alhaitham on his way. unfortunately, alhaitham was nowhere to be seen outside of kaveh's room.

kaveh drank his water in silence and took a piece of bread from a loaf that was placed neatly in a small container in the kitchen. he quickly finished it and went to the door to alhaitham's office and placed his hand on the handle.

his hand lingered there for a while until he finally decided to think of a proper way to say sorry. he sighed and left to retreat to his room.

as soon as he went in, he sat on his bed whilst his head was busy thinking about the dream he had. there were still some things that didn't make sense. one of them was the voice he heard.

it wasn't a voice that he had heard before in his life. he thought it might be lesser lord kusanali as from what kaveh knew she could control dreams, but it didn't sound like her one bit—it sounded much more mature.

he thought about what the voice said at the end of the dream; "you like him, don't you?" what did the voice mean? though, from kaveh's understanding, the voice was asking him if he liked alhaitham, because if not then why would his dream be about him?

he scoffed, "why in teyvat would i like him? he's annoying and unbelievably hard to deal with! he's too quiet and careless to be a good partner—ah, actually, that was before all that..."

kaveh's thoughts went back to how alhaitham comforted him back on the day he cried in front of him. he didn't remember much, but if he was correct alhaitham had laid down next to kaveh on his bed and stayed there until he fell asleep. kaveh remembered how his hands would caress his hair and how he'd say somewhat assuring words to calm him down. it was as if alhaitham was afraid of losing him, but was he?

he really didn't like how alhaitham was giving him mixed feelings. many possibilities went to kaveh's mind—either alhaitham wanted to use him, actually cared for him, or he had feelings for kaveh.

the first option would most likely not be possible. what could alhaitham possibly get out of kaveh anyway? he has a much more stable job that gives him enough mora to live, unlike kaveh. the second option would make sense as kaveh had been his only friend that stuck around him since before they went to the akademiya. the third one was the option that kaveh wanted to be the reason as to why alhaitham cared so much, but he knew that there'd be no way for it to be true.

he was wrong for that, though.

"but do i actually like him?" kaveh asked himself as he eyed a picture frame of him and alhaitham when they graduated that was placed on the wall. "if i did, why?"

after a few seconds of silence, kaveh laughed at himself. there were many reasons as to why someone could like alhaitham. kaveh could write a whole paragraph about the reasons why to fall in love with him.

alhaitham's cold demeanor was only on the outside. behind closed doors, he was actually not that annoying—as kaveh had witnessed it a couple of times. he thought that it was rather... adorable.

if kaveh had to be honest, he'd sometimes think of things he shouldn't when around alhaitham. every time they argue, kaveh's mind would always go the wrong way.

the thought of alhaitham made him feel butterflies in his stomach. shaking his head as his face went red, kaveh decided to make alhaitham something. he wanted him and alhaitham to secretly match somehow, and that's when he found the perfect idea.

back when kaveh still lived with his sister, they'd both make matching bracelets so that when both of them were already busy with their own lives, they'd still remember each other. kaveh took a moment to reminisce the old times as he looked at the bracelet fischl made for him back then on his desk. he's kept it all this time, he hoped that fischl did the same.

kaveh looked into various drawers to find the materials to make a simple bracelet. he didn't care if alhaitham wouldn't wear it, he just wanted to give it as a way to apologize and so that alhaitham would have something to remember him of if he ever disappears—not that he planned on doing so, but still, it's just in case.

after he found the things he needed, he instantly crafted two matching bracelets. for alhaitham's, kaveh gave it a sun charm in the middle. as for himself, he gave it a moon charm in the middle. in kaveh's eyes, it described both of them—alhaitham being the moon and kaveh being the sun.

as soon as kaveh finished, he went out of his room to find alhaitham. fortunately for him, the grey haired man was silently reading a book on a chair.

"alhaitham...?" kaveh cleared his throat as he walked closer to the figure who was busy reading.

alhaitham looked up from his book, "yes?"

"i—uh," kaveh muttered. "i wanted to say i'm sorry. i guess my pessimistic personality made you angry..."

"oh, it's about that," alhaitham sighed and closed his book. "to be honest, it was my fault. i should've explained the situation to you calmly but i couldn't."

"how about we say we're both at fault?" kaveh smiled awkwardly.

alhaitham chuckled slightly, "sure, whatever you want."

kaveh wanted to give the bracelet to alhaitham but he couldn't. his gaze on kaveh made him freeze in his spot.

"is there something else you wanted to say?" alhaitham asked after a couple of seconds.

"oh–" kaveh widened his eyes. "no, no, nothing. you can continue whatever you were just doing."

kaveh swore he saw alhaitham smirk for a swift second, but it quickly went away as soon as he picked up his book. "if you need something, don't call my name as i might not hear it. come stand in front of me instead."

"alright," kaveh nodded as he returned to his room, both bracelets still in his hand.

i'll give it to him later.

— ｡* . ✧ . *｡ —
a/n

this book reached 1k readers!! :D

anw i saw a bit about kaveh's backstory and wow 😭😭😭 i'll try to see what i can do to make this book similar to it, but school work + writers block has really affected me so updates from now on will be rather slow. sorry all! i'll try to update as soon as possible though!!