"Yes, even for the scholarship students," Shay answers with a tiny, pitiful smile - I hate the pitiful looks from people.
"Why are you a scholarship student?" Xavier bluntly asks, and I immediately stand to my feet, and leave without answering him because of my embarrassment.
Rushing back to my dorm room, trying to keep the tears at bay until I am alone. Inside the room, I lie on my bed, and let the tears flow freely into my pillow. I hate being poor, but I do not, and never will blame my mama for this because she busts her ass to provide for her and me. The person I blame for this is my sperm donor of a father. He left mama when she was six months pregnant with me, he filed for divorce, and never paid mama any child support once I was born, despite the court order.
I do not feel like I will ever be able to look Xavier or his friends in the eyes ever again. They know I am poor, not how poor, but I know by their reactions to me being a scholarship student, and I am guessing they are not. I will be keeping to myself, and try to keep my distance from the three of them as much as possible for the remainder of the year. Besides, I am here to learn, not to make friends because if I get into any trouble, or if my grades drop below 73.9%, I will be placed on academic probation, or worse, expelled.
"Hey man, I just want to check on you, and let you know that we are not judging you for being here on scholarship," Xavier's voice says through the doorway of my bedroom as I leave the door open, and I cry into my pillow.
Snapping my face toward him as I quickly wipe my face with the sleeves of my long sleeve shirt. Remaining silent, I stare at him with red, puffy eyes, and a sniffle.
"I did not mean to upset or embarrass you in the cafe with my question," he continues with a gentle voice. "There is nothing wrong with being here on scholarship because that means you are extremely smart, to be here on your grades."
I flush crimson when I do the stuttering breath, and he grins; "Oh, so you are smart, aren't you?"
"N-no, I-I am n-not," I softly stammer as I sit up, sitting criss-cross on the bed with another sniffle.
"You skipped a grade," he simply states, daring me to argue with him when I notice he has a to-go box in his left hand.
When he notices my gaze on the container, he grins broadly at me as he holds the container out toward me; "I brought you dinner because you are too skinny to wait until tomorrow to eat. I brought chicken tenders with fries and orange slices. You aren't vegan or vegetarian are you?"
Shaking my head at his question as I slowly stand from my bed to walk over to him, and carefully take the unspoken peace offering from him with a loud rumble from my stomach. My blush darkens, and I feel like my entire body is on fire.
"Th-thanks," I murmur as my tummy loudly rumbles again at the intoxicating scent coming from the container, furthering my embarrassment.
"Can I ask you a personal question, it will not bother me if you do not answer me?" he tentatively asks as we step into the kitchen area, so I can eat the food.
"Sure, no promises on if I answer ," I mumble, opening the container lid, grabbing a chicken tender, and taking a small bite.
"Why are you on scholarship?" he asks, and I sigh as I swallow my bite.
"My mama is a single parent who works as a waitress, and my sperm donor father does not, nor never paid any child support," I mumble, taking an aggressive bite of the tender, and roughly chew with my mouth closed. "Sperm donor is a useless waste of space."
"Dude, I am so sorry that you and your mom struggle," he murmurs, looking angry, perhaps?
Shrugging my shoulders at him as I continue to aggressively eat; "Not your fault. Some people are assholes, and useless waste of skin. My goal is to become successful, attend college, and get myself a good job, so I can take care of mama. She deserves that, and I am gonna be the one who takes care of her."
"That is admirable," Xavier compliments with a tiny smile as he leans his backside against the counter next to the sink with his arms crossed over his chest.
Humming at him while I continue to eat with a tiny nod of my head. We stand there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Xavier speaks; "I promise I won't tell anyone this."
I think he is trying to be reassuring, but being the untrusting person that I am, I do not believe him, but I do not verbalize this mistrust. I have a lot of mistrust toward others who are not my mama, or my best friend at my old high school, Arrow. Yes, his first name is actually Arrow because his parents are huge fans of the comic 'Green Arrow.' He and I are going to video call tomorrow night once I have fully settled in for a day. I try not to let my trust issues out because I want to make friends. I will be honest, Arrow is my only friend as his friends just tolerated me when I was around them.
Finishing my dinner, I throw away the empty container in the trash bin, mumbling to Xavier; "Thanks again for dinner, and I am gonna head to bed now. Goodnight."
"Goodnight Braelin, see you tomorrow," Xavier replies with a small smile.
Humming in response, I head to my bedroom, closing the bedroom door behind me quietly. Stripping from my clothes, I pull out a pair of black plaid jammy bottoms, and I pull those on before crawling under the covers of the bed. Plugging my phone into the wall charger after setting several alarms for tomorrow morning.
The next morning, I am away by seven, so I can take a shower, hopefully without anyone else in the shared shower room. Grabbing my shower supplies, dark blue bath towel, and clean clothes, and head to the shower room. Quickly scrubbing myself clean from head to toe, I rinse off, turn off the shower, and dry myself off before dressing. I am dressing myself in a black, long sleeve shirt with a hoodie, black leggings, black tall socks, and a pair of black faux 'Uggh' boots.
Wandering back to my room with my stuff, I quietly enter the room, enter my bedroom to place away my belongings. When I finish this, I wander out of the room to quietly leave the dorm room toward the cafe to get myself some breakfast. Hopefully there will not be too many other people there, and I can eat without too many people around.
Entering the cafe, I find there are only two other people here, already sitting together at a table, eating while they talk. Quickly picking out my food which is a container of chocolate milk, a blueberry bagel with plain cream cheese, and a small container of cherries. I give the lady at the checkout my school I.D. card, and she swipes this before handing it back to me with a small smile.
