My Youth | Unlucky

Chapter 1

2023

I don't exactly believe in luck.

I believe in blessings.

Blessings are from God. Possibly the opposite word for a blessing, it's a curse. Possibly I am cursed.

The starting of the year seems fine but   like a graph chart, the line is slowly sinking down. I was told to picture my life like a weighing scale from a Tarot reader. The Justice tarot card is a symbol of truth, fairness, and law. As she sits in her chair, the scales in her left hand represent how intuition should balance logic. She symbolizes impartiality with the double-edged sword in her right hand. The clarity in thought which is required to dispense justice are symbolized by the square on the crown she wears. This is a spiritual reminder that what she delivers are the outcomes of their actions

So I just imagine my life is like a weighing. I need to keep a healthy balance. The two sides are good and bad. One should not weigh more heavier than the other and the scale should not remain stagnant.

What happens when life line is straight? It means death. Boredom. Depression. Suicidal.

But giving up is never option only when necessary.

I start a brand new year with a new job at Singapore's Khoo Teck Puat Hospital. It's located at Yishun and I know for fact that it's far and I lived an hour away. When I applied for the job, I didn't think much. All I wanted was to secure a job cause I was desperate. I had enough of slacking and was ready to be back in workfield. I only pray that the clinic wasn't like the eye clinic.

I still feel a hint of regret for leaving but I knew it was the best.

I arrived at the HR office on time where there were others awaiting. Hmm..seems like I wasn't the only one. I waited for more than like 15 mins until someone called out everyone's names. When my name was called out, she handed me a name tag with a badge.

I waited for a little while until my name was called again to join a group to proceed to the hospital where our managers were waiting.

I met three people 2 young adults and 1 uncle that was probably in his 50s.

As we walked along the way, we introduced ourselves. There was Ella, was previously an Early Childhood Educator and the reason why she left cause of her condition due to her job environment which she strained her voice.

Uncle Stephen use to be a security officer for quite a long time and wanted a career switch. And Dorothy worked in a admin related job.

Ella and Stephen were the most friendly and bubbly. Eventually all of them easy to get going.

When we arrive at the managers office, we begun our orientation with a PowerPoint presentation. My brain was in functional at that point of time. They went through on the guidelines, the police, the work values , the grooming etc.

Back when I was in NUH, I didn't had a boring orientation like this. It was so fun there was even games and activities. But this was all just talk to understand the hospital better. The worst rule I ever heard was no using phones at the present at the counter unless for emergencies. Which I found it ridiculous. What was I suppose to do when there was no patient around?

I was told to change my hijab to slip on as mine wasn't up to their standard and I have wear the standard blue mask instead of black. After going through their guidelines , it just makes me miss working NUH even more.