The Diploma course was harder than it looks. After one lesson, I hated it. Indra was right. Diploma is different unlike ITE. If I was back in ITE the lecturers will give students a chance and spoon feed the answers.
But the class attend was different. Sure it may sound easy like I just need to listen to the teacher and copy the answers from the PowerPoint slides. But it involves with critical thinking and research. Even though I'm good with English, I couldn't understand what the question wants. I was glad to know I wasn't the only weakling held back each sessions on the test.
I had to ask around for help and luckily someone was nice enough to help me. And in the end I passed. I felt like banging my head on the wall. It was so tiring for me so learn from 9 am to 6 pm.
I mean if it was what I am after I knew I had to be determine about it. But unfortunately, I didn't carry on with it. I was freaking exhausted from work and I just needed a break. And after that 1 lesson haunted me. Even Siti agreed this class pecah kepale (break head). I should have completed the Service Excellence and Management Course. Who knows if it would have been much easier and I won't be stuck with 2.1k salary.
Things between me and Indra were different. He was busy juggling with school and work. We hardly video call unless he's going back home. It really sucks. I missed the times when he actually has more time for me.
One weekend, we met up for a dinner date at the JCube mall. We dine at a The White Kitchen that served Japanese Western food. I heard Jcube was closing down to make way for a condo property. I'll be damn sad cause I've been there since I was teen.
After we ordered our food, Indra rest his on the table. "Sayang..just prepare if things don't work out between us" he stated. Huh? I didn't understand why would he say that."What do you mean?" I asked. He looked up at me. "I'm just saying just be prepare if things don't work out between us"
"I don't understand. What did I do? Aren't you happy?" He shook his head. "No. It's not you. It's me" he replied. I couldn't believe what the bullshit he was saying. "I will tell you more later" he added. We ate our food and after that went up to the rooftop to vape. The food was okay but it was expensive. I wouldn't mind coming back there once in awhile.
We sat down and talk things out with me. He explained how each time I dissapoint on him like I wear clothes which had minor stain on it and he's particular about it. He felt that he was always there for me be never receive anything in return. He wasn't after my money neither my looks or the sex. He just wanted me. But I wasn't making him happy enough.
Tears were streamed down my face for me to hear what he was saying. When he realized he was crying, he wrapped his arms around. "Oh no. No. No. Sayang.. please.." he wiped my tears with his fingers. "Don't cry. I'm sorry for hurting you okay? It's just that I want to you prepare only." "But I love you so much Indra"
"I know but you I don't buy words" "we have been together for how long you should know how much I loved you" "Look I'm not breaking up with I'm giving you a chance to improve yourself. Prove me wrong you can do better. I don't want to end up in a situation like my ex. When my heart goes bitter, I told I no longer wanted to be with her. I felt like before and I cried"
He rubbed my back. "But your all I have left. Who else is going to be there for me?" I asked. "You have to learn on how to be independent. Even after we break up, I still want to be there for you. I want to see you grow" "But it will be different" "Of course it will be different" Fucking hell. We better not break up if I'm gonna kill myself.
When I went home, I cried myself to sleep. I was heartbroken to know that might want to break up with me. That was a wakeup. I probably don't seem to understand much on how he feels but I was still confused. I thought we were doing so well. And I wondered all this time has he been so quiet about it?
I couldn't believe this is happening. I cannot live without him. I swore to myself to be with him until the end our life's. I wanted to be the one to marry him for god's sake! Cause I know theres nobody else that can love me better than he does
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My Youth | Unlucky
Non-FictionSarah's beginning of the year is totally fucked up. From losing her job , to being scam , losing sleep and losing her boyfriend which leads to her making bed decisions one at a time. She is back to square one. Poor , lonely and mentally ill.Could th...
