My Youth | Unlucky

Chapter 7

I have a friend Angela whom was working as Preschool Teacher. I did the thought of working as a Preschool Teacher as it was a booming industry in the country. But I heard the pay is just like working at a government hospital where is stagnant. I don't if the rumours were actually true.

And I'm bout to find out what it was like working at a preschool.

I reached to Angela if her company was hiring. She replied that she was no longer working at Sparkletots and switched to Mulberry Preschool. She helped to ask her boss and they reached out to for an interview.

I was offered an interview at old place Eye Clinic through an agent but apparently they were only hiring only the manpower was needed. I found it ridiculous. That clinic needs way more manpower to sustain. How are they even going to survive? In the end they didn't get back to me and I didn't care. Cause they were paying hourly rate instead of perm.

I was easily hired at Mulberry Preschool as Teacher Assistant. They offered me a basic of $1800 pay and it was way below than what I had and expected. Working there was kind of hard cause my job was to observe the kids and prevent anything from happening to them.

I had to look after not one but 30 toddlers with 2 teachers. And kids being kids, some of them were disobedient. I'm not someone that's  fierce so that's a weakness for me.

I couldn't stand the crying, the poop smell and keep asking calling out the kids name. I had a feeling this place wasn't for me and began searching for another jobs. After the second day, I was laid off again and the boss paid me on the spot.

She said I wasn't attentive enough, caught me dozing off in class and someone caught me vaping which I had no idea how when I do it in the toilet. I cried thinking and called my boyfriend. I felt so useless loosing 2 jobs in a row. Maybe it was a right call, cause I wasn't suitable to be in that type of environment.

Indra told me it's was alright it just want my rezeki. I find unfair that the company didn't give me a chance to improve myself. At the end of the month, Angela left the company as well cause she couldn't handle the toxic boss.

Well I'm glad I don't have to climb a hill that takes 5 minutes and tires me out.

Indra was acting odd. I felt I was drifting away further away from him. So I asked my cousin to check on him and what I can do to save my relationship. I was prepared for the worse and even created a heartbreak playlist for him. Everytime he said he loved me , my heart goes soft and I want a shed tear cause I don't want to lose him.

The truth came light. I found that he is actually happier if he is single and there was nothing else to fix my relationship. I wanted to meet him face to face but I pitied him cause he felt tired. So,I perk up the courage and texted him.

"Indra do you you still want to be with me?"

And the next, my shattered into million pieces. I felt like a sharp knife just pierced my heart. I felt so crushed.

"I'm sorry sayang. I can't keep up anymore. I can't make you happy if I'm no longer happy. We can still be friends as I want to watch you grow"

Tears started rolling down my face as I read the text. I couldn't believe it. He's actually breaking up with me. Holy shit! HE'S BREAKING UP WITH ME?

HOW COULD HE? HE ALWAYS SAID HE WILL BE THERE FOR ME AND HE WON'T LEAVE ME?

I led out a cry and screamed out loud. I couldn't care if the neighbours heard. This was so fucking painful for me to feel. Why was I still living? I should just be dead right?

This was the man I loved. My very first love and just like that it's gone. 1 year wasted for nothing? That's not suppose to be that way.

I bawled my eyes out till night. My mom came over and told me he wasn't worth it. I told her off I don't care I love him.

I start to questioned myself. It doesn't make sense. I thought I knew the future. We're suppose to die together. We're suppose to get married and have a family. He was suppose to protect me. Who's going to save me now?

I mentally felt angry at god. How could he do this to me. For once in my life I was actually happy and I found a reason to live. I didn't care if my fate was death with him. I would rather then spent the rest of my life living on this miserable planet. I am so sick of living. So sick and tired of suffering everytime. Why did god had to punished me this way?

My life fucking sucks