Alternatively - A Pob/Leon Fanfiction

Chapter Thirty-Two - Topfah

I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. There was something about what happened between Leon and I the night before that didn't sit well with me. After a quick shower, I changed and made my way out to find him making breakfast.

As I watched the stiff way he held his spin, my first thought was to walk over and rubbed his back. Usually, when I did that, he would relax, kiss my forehead as a way of thanks, and was better for the rest of whatever it was he'd been doing.

But I wasn't sure if that would work this time.

The night before I'd tried kissing him and he wouldn't allow me to—it hit me then.

I thought I was doing the right thing, holding out, making him work for it. But Leon had always been a sexual person. It wasn't all about the actual act of sex--even if it wasn't sex, he'd been okay with just a kiss, a touch, pressing his forehead to mine. 

All those things usually recharged him.

All those acts of intimacy had been enough for him while he waited for me. Even as Pob, he'd been kind and scared to hurt me the first time we were together. I could still feel all our first times together and nothing had changed about any of it--eight hundred years of first times.

I sighed.

But since we started talking again and the six months prior, he hadn't had that--he hadn't had me.

And he hadn't been with anyone in the six months we were apart. Everyone had told me so—his mother, his brother, Fiat—their friends.

He was in pain, and I wasn't helping.

He was hurting himself to do what I wanted, and I hadn't even thought of any of it.

"Good morning." Leon turned and smiled at me. "Breakfast is almost ready. The coffee is ready though, so if you want to help yourself--."

"Leon..."

"Don't worry about it." Leon lifted his chin. "Today is going to be a good day. Apparently, it's going to rain, so we have to hurry to get into town and back before that happens."

"Leon, we—"

"No." He shook his head. "Last night was a glitch, born out of frustration and I'm sorry. Today, I'm fine and we're going to make use of being out."

And even though I knew we had to talk, I caved when he smiled at me and sat in one of the chairs. We had breakfast together, Leon talk to me like he usually did. It was almost as if he was all-the-way fine, but I could tell he was hurting. There was a dark patch in his eyes that his optimism tried drowning out but hadn't succeeded and I put that there.

I cleaned up after breakfast while he showered and afterward we went into the town to see what fun we could fine. There was a lot for the size of the place—we even went horseback riding along a trail up the mountain, had lunch in a tree-line alcove, played in a clear, crisp river then made our way back.

We arrived at the cabin again just as the rain started and was happy we weren't stuck in town.

I went to shower and change and when I came back, I could hear Leon on the phone.

"I'm fine, P," he said. "Stop worrying."

"Where is Topfah now?" Leo's voice was familiar, brotherly.

"Taking a shower." Leon replied.

"Leon, you're obviously not okay with not being able to touch him." Leo pointed out. "I know you. I know this is torture for you. Why don't you just tell him?"

"Because this is how it has to be."

"Why?" Leo pushed. "Why does it have to be this way? You're hurting. He's hurting, why?"