James is a war with himself, he does not want to think about what the supposed love of his life, he wants to wake from this nightmare, and never go to sleep again.
(---if only it was a nightmare, a voice in his head thought snidely)
He tries to put up a mask, to conceal his emotions and not let anyone see his weakness, but he can't. Gods, he can't. Merlin knows he tries---tries so hard.
His mind is drifting further and further away from reality. He wants to be angry, to shout, to yell, to curse, to kill.
His mind chants the same mantra again and again, Lily Lily Lily Lily, the effects of the love potion wearing off as he discovers it is in his bloodstream. He feels disgusted with himself.
Lord , he wants to hurl. The grand confessions, the pining, everything plays in his mind's eye in repeat
Sirius is the only thing that grounds him, the anchor that attaches him to reality. Remus' warm hand calms his mind and Peter's magic soothes his soul. How grateful he is to have friends like them.
James Potter is not weak, he tells himself, he cannot be cowed so easily.
(---she raped you! Her love was a lie! Your daughter was---gods his daughter.)
(---she saved your heir and you, sacrificed herself on the ritual altar to protect Aster! Where is your gratitude?)
(---is your anger worth more your daughter?)
No, it was not. But--but he wants justice too, funny, isn't it?
An Auror unable to save himself? How will you save others?
He wants to dye the hall red, red like her hair, red like her blush, red like the roses he confessed with. Red--Red like a Crucio. How lovely will it look when she bleeds on the Potter emblem? Her blood will make the color richer, and more beautiful.
Is it wrong he wants to kill his future savior? Make her suffer? Make her bleed?
She hasn't saved you, yet. A traitorous voice whispers in his ears. No life debt for events of the future.
Another voice whispers She hasn't raped you yet, too. Aren't you a hypocrite, darling?
No, he isn't, a hypocrite. She has drugged him, humiliated him, and played with his heart, isn't it enough?
It is. It is.
::::::::::::::::::
Lily Evans is dead. Or she will be, soon. If Sirius has something to say about it.
Oh, he knows with her newfound fame as the savior of the Wizarding World, it will be difficult. But gods, he will kill her, for his brother.
He will laugh as a river of blood flows down the drain.
Aster Potter will not be born out of Evans , he swore. He will not let her have that as her mother. The timeline will change, his James will not suffer.
Evans might have sacrificed herself for his goddaughter, but it does not wash away her crimes, does not give her a blank slate.
He laughed, Lily Evans is dead.
:::::::::::::
The screen started playing again, it showed the BlackMoor Manor.
Orion straightens up, knowing it is time.
The camera moves forward opening doors and passing staircases before stopping in front of a grand door, masculine hands are seen pushing them open.
YOU ARE READING
°☆𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙---toujours pur☆°
Fanfiction°☆"The Black Magick had chosen a new Lord."-☆° Hogwarts watches the might of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, and trembles beneath the show of their power. Or -In which Hogwarts watches and learns the truth beneath the webs of white light...
