I'm a Healer, But...

18

Wilbur is pacing around his room yet again.He doesn't want to be- he wants to be out of his room, with his family. He wants to chat with Fundy about his finals, or talk to Phil and Techno about work- but he can't say a word outside this room. He can barely speak in this room.Tommy is so scared of him. Wilbur hasn't spoken to him since his disastrous attempt in the nest, but the way Tommy ducks out of any room Wilbur enters unless he can hide behind Techno, the way he clings to his crown of Roses as if he'll throw it like a frisbee if Wilbur steps closer... it's pretty obvious.Phil has told him things are looking up, that Tommy doesn't flinch anymore when Phil gets too close, that he's been calming down since Techno started taking him out of the house. He says maybe Tommy's just been too cooped up and he overreacted, that maybe Wilbur should just try again-But he doesn't want to scare him. He doesn't want to feel that fear directed at him again. So he'll just... wait it out. He can afford to- Tommy is still so young, he has time before they would give him eternity, even if Wilbur would like him to have it sooner rather than later. It'll be okay, he just- he hates waiting. He wants to just-He's not using his powers. He already lost his bet to Techno- sort of- but he's not going to do it. He wants Tommy to be genuinely happy- forcing him to feel happy whenever he's with Wilbur isn't good enough. It wouldn't feel the same.So he's pacing. And pacing. And pacing. And-There's a knock on his door. He almost calls for whoever it is to come in, but the words don't leave his mouth. Instead, he paces his way over to the door and opens it.Tommy is on the other side. He almost slams it shut out of surprise.Wilbur takes a step back, and Tommy takes a step forward, almost barging into his room. Wilbur gets entirely out of the way, not wanting Tommy to touch him when he has his Wither crown on. He lets out a confused noise- why would Tommy come here?"We need to fucking talk, bitchboy." Wary-wary-nervous . He always acts so tough, but he's always- "And if I even think you're using your powers, I'm gonna kill you."Wilbur nods, agreeing almost desperately. He needs this chance, this opportunity to fix everything. He's already so sick of waiting.Tommy hesitates for a moment before speaking up. "Apologize to me.""I'm sorry," Wilbur says immediately. "I shouldn't have done it, and I didn't really mean to- but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sunflower.""Can you- why do you fucking call me that?" Annoyance-longing. "It's so fucking cutesy , I hate it.""No you don't," he responds without thinking.Tommy sneers at him. "Don't tell me what I don't hate- "If he's going to make it up to Tommy, he has to be honest with him, right? "Tommy, my powers aren't just controlling other people's emotions. I can also tell what people are feeling. You don't hate when I call you sunflower."He pales, alarmingly fast. "You- you fucking what ?""It's not something I can turn off," Wilbur lies quickly. He can, but it would drive him insane, so really it's just a little white lie, it's not a big deal- "But I always know how you feel. You're so- you're so scared all the time, Tommy. And it hurts me to feel it- I just- I want to make you safe. Happy. But I keep screwing it up, don't I?""...yeah. You do," he rasps, confusion-longing-relief. Wilbur... doesn't understand that at all. "You- you get affected when I'm... freaked out or whatever?""I do," he answers, though he thinks Tommy is asking something different, asking if Wilbur becomes scared when Tommy is- he can believe that for now, if it's easier for him. If it's relieving, for whatever reason. "It's- you'll be safe here, okay? We won't be your next Dream. We all want you to be happy here. Phil and Techno, they've always respected healers so much, and I... I don't want you to be scared or sad or longing anymore. Can you give me one last chance?""You're- you're fucking insane." RELIEF-longing. "Yeah fine whatever, just- no making me feel shit. That was- that was fucked up. Why did you even-? I know you were angry I told Fundy but that was the whole point of us going, wasn't it, and you weren't answering his questions and-"Wilbur interrupts as Tommy's voice dips low into fear. "I didn't want him being scared, either. Fundy's- he's delicate. No, not delicate, just- he's gone through a lot, and he's... I don't want to scare him away. You, you know the type of things the Syndicate does, you've seen Techno kill, but- we've always kept Fundy away from it. I don't..." He's not using his powers deliberately, he's not, but if a little bit of pity pushes through to Tommy it isn't his fault. "I don't want my little champion to be afraid of me again."Tommy crosses his arms, and for a moment he's worried that Tommy could tell, but no, he's just rubbing his arms awkwardly. "Why... how do you have a fox kid, anyway? I mean, you're... you're an avian, right?" He peers at Wilbur unsurely. Fair enough- he's missing the obvious wings, after all.Wilbur chuckles. "His mother was a fox too, and hybrid children tend to take after their mothers unless they're human, so..."Tommy squints at him more. "...nah, I'm pretty sure you've never gotten pussy in your life. You stole him, right?""Wh-" He's taken aback, genuinely a little insulted. At least it lightened the mood. "You little- I didn't steal him, he's my biological son!""Sounds fake as shit. He should be a birdy fox or something. Fox with a beak. Bird with a tail. Whatever.""That's not how- have you ever met a hybrid before us?"Tommy huffs. "Only goats. And, uh, a netherborn, if that counts.""A neth- oh. Right." Pandas, number three hero. Maybe he's been knocked up to second place now. "Well, you can't combine species like that. It's one or the other. Having two hybrid parents can make your traits stronger, which is why he's-""A total furry. And Empress Kristin was a human, right? That's why you don't have wings?"Wilbur hesitates. If Tommy's staying- which he is, no matter what he says, no matter what even Techno might say- he should tell him. But it was so hard to tell Fundy, and he's never told anyone else, his family already there when it happened, and...It's Tommy, his sunflower. Maybe knowing one of Wilbur's weaknesses will make him a little more open to him, a little more willing to hear him out. "I used to have wings.""...what?" Confusion-alarm."I was born with wings," he murmurs, still able to feel a phantom twinge in his back, as if he could still just stretch them out and take flight. "Just like Phil. Techno was so annoyed when I was a kid, I swear, he'd be keeping an eye on me and next thing he knew I'd be out a window and in the sky where he couldn't catch me. Phil used to call him his 'flightless flock'- now it's both of us, ha." And soon Tommy, too.Tommy's eyes are wide, alarmed. "What... happened?"" That... is a long and sad story, sunflower. Are you sure you want to hear it?" Tommy's face scrunches up at the nickname, and then turns a little pink, but he nods quickly. Wilbur sighs, sitting on his bed and patting the spot next to him for Tommy to sit. He sits further away than Wilbur would like, but it's fine."I was in my early twenties," Wilbur recounts like it was yesterday. "I was the prince of the Antarctic Empire, but I didn't have any power yet. Phil wanted me to know more about the people and their needs before letting me take charge of anything, so I started going out to learn about our people.""And then I was... incredibly distracted. I met this beautiful hybrid, you see. Their name was- well, the Empire was one of the last places in the world where people knew about Old Magic, so people could be careful about giving out their real names. I never got their name, so I just called them Friend." Wilbur sighs, remembering lying by the river and running his hands through their hair, them preening his wings in return. "The Empire was run by hybrids, but many other places were...""Shit?" Tommy fills in where Wilbur can't find the word.It gets a sad chuckle out of him. "Worse than shit. They'd been kept as a pet in another nation. Their owners had carved out their tongue, then sliced off their sheep horns and tail when they tried to escape. They managed to find their way to the Empire, where they'd be-" Safe. Wouldn't it have been so nice if they had been safe? "Safer. Do you know how Old Magic works, Tommy?"He seems a little taken aback by the sudden subject change. "Uh... you need someone's name? It, uh... needs sacrifice?""You only need someone's name if you're hurting them. To give a gift, all you need is a sacrifice." Wilbur taps his fingers against his knee nervously. It's so hard to talk about this. "I loved them. And they hated themselves after how they'd been hurt. They missed their horns more than anything. And I... no, I was still selfish and spoiled. But I loved them so much. I was less selfish, for them. I made a trade. My wings, for them to get their hybrid traits back.""...fucking primes, " Tommy whispers, longing yet again. "I'd never fucking do that, never in my fucking life. "Wilbur shrugs. "I was young and in love. I'd have done more, I would have- I would have married them–" He runs a shaking hand through his hair. "They died. Just a few- a few weeks after- we had ambassadors from another nation enter the Empire, and- Friend never said that they used to belong to a prince. The prince saw them, and- I found their tortured body in the spot we'd always met in."Tommy gasps, just enough for Wilbur to get a taste of horror-anger."I didn't know who it had been. I was furious- I kept going out to investigate, leaving my family with the ambassadors-" His breath hitches, and he has to stop himself from pushing out his heartbreak, still fresh even after centuries. It's too much for him to hold on his own- but it's too much for Tommy, too. "I thought Phil would handle it. He was busy, he left it to Techno. Techno was training the soldiers, he left it to- to Mom. They liked her best, since she was human. They told her how rough it must be, acted like she was trapped there by beasts- they offered her sanctuary in their little fucking nation that we could step on, if we wanted. They even brought up their- their former slave they found in our Empire. When she told them to fuck off, they got angry- but not as angry as when she told Phil about what fuckwit racists they were."Wilbur takes a few deep breaths, reigning in his anger. "There was an assassin. Sent by them, obviously, the man barely had to be tortured to admit it. We... we didn't have a healer, and... my mother died.""That... that isn't in the history books," Tommy whispers, pity-anger. It's exactly what Wilbur wants from him."That was the day the Empire fell," Wilbur tells him. "The ambassadors were trying to escape. I was not going to let them do that. There was... a spell. Old Magic that hadn't been used in at least a millennia. It killed every single person in the Empire, including those rat fucks trying to run back home.""That's... a lot of dead people, king." Wonder-anger-pity.King, Tommy's calling him king again- "I lost two of the most important people in my life within days. I didn't give a shit who else died, as long as those murderers did. My- my mom was supposed to be immortal, like us, I was never supposed to lose her- but she still died." Because they didn't have a healer. But they do now. And they'll never be without again. "I loved Fundy's mother, too, but... she passed before we could reconcile after a fight. And I love Fundy, but I'm terrified something will happen to him, too. That's why I panicked and used my powers in the car. I'm sorry, Tommy."It's quiet for a moment before Tommy reaches over and awkwardly pats his arm. "Well, that's why I'm here, king. None of these bitches are ever dying with me around."He laughs, surprised and relieved in equal measure. "I know. I know. It's- I'm glad you came to us." He's glad that it was Tommy, someone he'll enjoy being around for eternity. He's glad to have a new little brother. "I don't suppose you have anything incredibly traumatic you'd want to get off your chest?" Something to help Wilbur know what he's meant to do, how he can help Tommy be happier ?"Nah," Tommy answers, far too fast, just a touch of nervous underneath it. "I'm good.""...sure," Wilbur says, picking his battles. They'll have all the time in the world, he can be just a little patient now that Tommy is talking to him again, letting Wilbur talk.Tommy glances at him- no, not at him, past him? Or behind him?- for a moment before standing up. "Bla- Techno kicked me out of the kitchen while he was making lunch, but he's probably done by now. Come on."...did he really only come talk to Wilbur because Techno was busy? Ugh. He doesn't like Techno being the favorite- he'll have to step up his game, and fast. "Alright," he says, getting up and heading out of his room.For some reason, he can feel Tommy's eyes staring at his back.