I'm a Healer, But...

15

Sometimes, Phil almost wishes he had Wilbur's power. Wilbur is so forceful with it- yes, he's been known to be gentle, but he's so bad under pressure, any additional weight primed to make him explode. It exacerbates situations like today's, and normally Phil can brush over whatever problems Wilbur makes just fine, but-But trauma is not easy. At least, when Phil doesn't know what's behind it. He knew what was wrong with Fundy as soon as they met him- traumatized by the loss of his mother, hurting from surviving alone after losing her. Phil just had to give him comfort, support, a family to fill the gap. Tubbo was recovering from being in the foster system, from being powerless against his father and the many foster families that controlled his life- Phil gave him things he could control, decisions he could make without repercussions. Ranboo... he was the easiest. With his memory loss, he just needed a book to write in and someone who wouldn't get frustrated with him when he repeated questions he couldn't remember asking.Tommy? He demands attention, but balks when it's given to him. He's been treated cruelly, but rejects kindness and affection. Maybe he's overwhelmed, maybe it's too much, but how does Phil fix it when all he wants is to stow Tommy away in the nest and hold him until he's forgotten anything that Dream ever did to him?And how does he fix it when Tommy's screaming at him like this?"Stay back!" Tears are streaming down his face as he grabs a flower crown of Wither Roses out of his bag and slams it down onto his head. Phil winces- the thorns, they clearly stab him, but his eyes glow through his tears and all that's left is a small trail of blood dripping down his forehead."Tommy, Tommy- " Phil reaches out- it's a horrible idea, as easily as he can bestow Withering on others it could still hurt him just as badly- but Techno grabs his arm before he can touch Tommy, dragging him away. "Techno!""Give him space," he growls, forcing Phil back, keeping him away from his fledgling . "Why are you even chasin' him?""He's- upset about Wil-""Of course he's upset about Wilbur," Techno hisses. "He screwed up, we all know it. Grabbin' at him isn't gonna make him less upset."Phil just lets out a shrill cry, needing to soothe his fledgling, and Techno tenses before pulling further away- no, no, he needs to get to Tommy, needs to-"Wilbur needs you," Techno says as he wraps his arms around Phil, keeping his wings trapped. "He's gotta be so sad about Tommy. Your baby is definitely the worst off right now and you gotta go take care of him."Despite the flat and unfeeling voice Techno says it in, the words get to him, and he fights less. His baby does need him, between Fundy and Tommy he must be so torn up, Phil will need to comfort him- he wants to comfort them both, settle them both in the nest and oversee their little fight so they both come out happy, but as Techno pulls him out the door he can see Tommy sigh, the tears slowing- so maybe it's okay. Maybe Tommy can wait a little.But his baby can't. He never can.Wilbur is in the nest, almost yanking his hair out from how hard he's tugging on it. "-didn't know he would- I didn't mean to do it in the first place, I'm so sorry Fundy-""I know, Dad," Fundy awkwardly tries to soothe him, but the moment Techno releases Phil he falls into the nest, dragging his baby into his arms. He can do this. He can make everything better.Wilbur immediately twists around to hug him back. "Phil- Dad- I didn't mean to-"Phil coos, hoping Wilbur can feel the love and forgiveness he has for him, that he's always had and always will have. Even when his son screws up, even when he hurts the people dear to him, Phil will always be at his side. Always there to clean up his messes.He's sure it reaches him at least somewhat, because Wilbur sighs in relief and holds him tighter. "I just needed calm , Tommy was so anxious and Fundy was scared- "Techno murmurs something to Fundy, and Fundy gets up and leaves the nest with him. Phil would protest, would drag them both back in and keep them here- but he can trust Techno with Fundy, and maybe they can check on Tommy too. Techno knows that Phil wouldn't want his fledgling alone, he must be going to check on him. "Tommy was anxious?" Phil asks when they're gone."It's all he was feeling, something about- about Fundy asking what happened to Dream made him so wary- I don't know why. " The more he talks, the more his grip on his powers slips again- Phil can feel Wilbur's confusion and concern. It's always so hard for him when he doesn't understand why someone feels the way that they do."It's okay," Phil hums. "It'll be okay. It just seems like what Dream did to him runs even deeper than we thought, hm? But we'll help him-""He'll be so sweet ," Wilbur says, near tears. "I already know, he hasn't really been happy since he's been here but when he's laughing his feelings are so bright. And even when he was calm, he healed me without even asking, he just wanted to help even if he couldn't really tell something was wrong-"Phil pulls back sharply, looking his baby over. "He had to heal you? What was wrong? What-?""My throat was sore from talking, it's okay," Wilbur immediately says. Phil frowns, but accepts it when Wilbur drags him closer again, wanting the hug back. "He's going to be so sweet. He's- we have to keep him, Phil.""We have to," Phil agrees immediately. "He's just a fledgling and he's been so hurt, we have to-""No," Wilbur cuts him off. "We have to keep him, Phil. Forever."That... makes him pause. "...mate," he says delicately. "I know you've wanted us to have a healer ever since... you accepted eternity, but-""I want us to be safe. We'd never have to worry if we had him- and you like him! He's your fledgling, Phil, and he needs you, he needs us to help, to fix him! And then he'll fix us, too, whenever we get hurt, no one will ever be sick or hurt ever again-" More feelings slip through, longing and desperation, and Phil tightens his grip on Wilbur, almost enough to hurt."Mate," he wheezes, the feelings all too much, and they quickly start to fade. "I... I know. I know, you want a healer for eternity. I get it. But let's not rush him, alright? He's already so overwhelmed, tying him to us forever would be a bit much.""I want Tommy. Not just a healer, Tommy. He's so much, he feels so much. I want to fix him, I want to erase all that fear-" Wilbur warbles, overwhelmed by the thought. "You like him, I like him, Techno likes him-" Phil lets out a quiet laugh at that. At least he isn't the only one who suspects it. "-he'll fit right in. He'll be flock."And despite himself, Phil thinks- oh, isn't that such a nice thought? His fledgling staying, years and decades and centuries for them to unravel the pain he's gone through, to ease him into their flock, their family. He can already picture it, that sweetness that Wilbur claims is there coming to the surface, and Tommy slotting into their nest, not reluctantly but happy to do so, happy to let Phil or Wilbur or Techno or even Fundy hold him close. They would never let him be hurt.How well would Tommy really fit in? He listened so well when Techno taught him to use a knife, and Techno loves showing off his knowledge. He admires Wilbur's music- Phil caught him listening outside Wilbur's bedroom while Wilbur played Your Sister Was Right far louder than he usually would, and though Tommy was embarrassed, when he's moved past that Wilbur will soak up that admiration like a sponge.And Phil, he loves to dote on his children. Techno always insists he's outgrown it, only tolerating long sessions in the nest when he knows Phil's instincts are demanding it. Wilbur may actively seek it out, but never for long, always needing things to do to keep his mind quiet. Tommy... he's someone who needs love and affection. Who knows how long he's been without it at the Hero's Organization- if he even had it before then. When everything has calmed down, Phil will give that to him. Maybe Tommy will adore it as much as Phil does, let Phil preen his hair for hours at a time, preen Phil's wings in return. He can already imagine Tommy's healing hands nudging feathers back into place, carefully pulling out damaged ones, helping in ways beyond using his powers.A new son, he considers. Techno and Wilbur had both been surprises, in different ways- he never expected to be adopted by a piglin shote, nor did he or Kristin plan for an heir to their kingdom. Deciding that Tommy would be his is new, but it feels right. Now that Wilbur has placed the thought in his head, he wants it, and Phil has never wanted something without taking it.Oh, family. Phil loves it so.