I'm a Healer, But...

29

Phil is fluttering around the front hall, counting the luggage and checking cabinet drawers. "And you're sure you'll be fine for a few days?""Yes, Phil," Tommy drones."And you won't forget to keep your phone charged, right?""It hasn't dipped below fifty percent since you gave it to me, Phil.""You've only had it a day, that doesn't mean much. I went grocery shopping, and Ranboo has my credit card if you need anything else... Ace's number is next to the landline in case something happens to your cell phones..." Phil frets, pacing more."Phil!" Wilbur cheerfully steps into the hall, dragging his own suitcase behind him. "Tommy will be okay without us for a day or two," he says, as if Tommy didn't overhear him whining about leaving him 'alone'- with just Tubbo and Ranboo- at least twice in the last few days. They still haven't really spoken- never alone, never more than 'do you want anything while I'm shopping' or 'go fuck yourself'- but Wilbur is desperately trying to get on Tommy's good side. It's kind of pathetic, but also kind of nice. Tommy's... still figuring out how to feel about Wilbur.Phil hums, displeased. "I don't like it.""You're just clingy," Tommy says before turning away. "Ranboo says I'll be fine because he and Tubbo are here.""He's not an expert- ""Neither are you, you elderly hen. Go put your shit in the car, I'm going to say bye to Techno, and it's going to be fine because I'm a well-adjusted bird brain, unlike you."Phil huffs a laugh. "You're literally the exact opposite of well-adjusted, Tommy.""Because I'm a fucked up bird brain who can compartmentalize shit better than you.""Which isn't healthy- ""Get out of here, Phil." Tommy ducks down the hall, heading towards Techno's room.Ranboo has a couple theories about why Tommy is the way he is. His memory is still a bit shit- there's a lot of things missing, Tommy could fix broken connections and make it easier for him to recall things, but he couldn't bring back memories Ranboo never formed in the first place- but he remembers enough from his days as a lab experiment to have some science behind said theories, too.(He remembers too much, he has nightmares now because of what Tommy did, and Tommy feels guilty about hurting his flock even if he was just trying to help. He's equally pleased that, even in the throes of his nightmares, Ranboo still sleepwalks to Tommy's nest for safety, that Tommy can be a protector too.)The most likely, apparently, is that Tommy is so incredibly fucked up (though he didn't say it like that because Ranboo is a pussy) that his instincts are melding with his human brain. Phil says that it's supposed to be that he'd have some times where his instincts are super strong, and then they recede to the back of his mind until something sets them off. Instead, Tommy and the bird brain are constantly one- so Techno is safe to the bird brain because Tommy thinks he's safe. Or something like that.Anyway, maybe it's permanent, maybe it isn't, but right now he's busy trying not to be upset that his Protector is going on a trip for an uncertain amount of time. Hypothetically, because of how fucked up his instincts are, he should be able to overpower them by thinking like a human... but it's harder than he thought it would be. It's okay- he has Tubbo, he has Ranboo- but part of him is huffy about being abandoned anyway, which is why he throws open the door to Techno's room much more violently than he needs to."If you break my door, you're fixin' it," Techno says, not looking up from the bag he's packing. It's good to know that even the almighty Blade can be a procrastinator sometimes."I would never. And if I did, it wouldn't be my fault. Why is your door so shit it can be broken that easily, huh?" he asks as he takes a seat on the edge of Techno's bed.Tommy's only been in this room twice before- when he tried to steal one of Techno's knives, and then a few days ago when he got into an argument with Phil and Techno was overwhelmed and 'needed' to bring Tommy to his 'den'. He's not complaining, he got another knife out of it, and fuck knows he's starting his own collection of those. Still, despite how he's not really familiar with this room, he's comfortable enough. It's Techno's, after all.And Techno is his Protector who shouldn't be leaving-"Sooo... how's Fundy?" Tommy asks to distract himself.Techno shrugs. "Nervous, last I asked. Wilbur's too excited and he's rushin' him a bit.""A bit.""...a bit.""It's been three days. It'd be less if you guys didn't have all that fucking 'mysterious preperation'," Tommy says, making air quotes to show just how weird and nonsense the phrase is to him.Techno chuckles, zipping up his suitcase. "Alright, he's rushin' him a lot. But he's been waitin' for Fundy to agree for years now, he's just excited. First thing to go right since he started screwin' up with you."Tommy just huffs, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. Some weird runes are painted on it, and his eyes trace them for a few long moments."...you have your knives, right?""Yu-p." He pops the last letter. "No one knows how to get here besides our people. You're not in any danger. Even if somethin' did happen, you know how to use a knife, and Ranboo is capable of teleportin' you somewhere safer in the unlikely chance that Tubbo didn't take out an attacker's kneecaps-""Tech," Tommy interrupts. "Have you considered stifling your instincts until they merge with your human thoughts so you can influence them in weird and fucked up ways that aren't rambling about how much of a worrywart you are?"When Techno is silent, Tommy tilts his head back down to look at him. He just looks exasperated. "I can't wait until we find you an actual therapist."" 'Oh I can't wait until we find you an actual therapist, '" Tommy mocks, pitching his voice lower. "' I'm Techno and if I walk ten feet away from my shoat I will actually cry'- ""' I'm Tommy and I think jokin' about my horrible trauma basically makes it go away'-" Techno tries to mock him back, but it's the worst impression Tommy has ever heard in his life and he laughs hard enough he almost falls off the bed. Techno just shakes his head and pulls the suitcase over to the door. "Out of my room, Theseus. I'm lockin' it behind me."Tommy squawks. "Oh, come on! I was just kidding when I said I was gonna steal your cape!""I left it out in the hall closet," Techno tells him, and Tommy goes quiet. He's not going to steal the cape. He is not. Even if it would be perfect for the nest and he really, really wants it, he's not going to, because he can overpower his instincts. Probably. Techno gently pushes him out the door and steps into the hall. "I'm lockin' the door so Tubbo doesn't get into my potion ingredients.""Hey!" Tubbo yells from a few rooms over in offense.Techno ignores it. "He can probably break in anyway, but it's somethin'. Try to stop him if he goes for it, alright?"Tommy laughs. "Are you kidding? Absolutely fucking not. I've never seen potions get made before, Tubbo can do what the fuck ever he wants.""...Ranboo has most potion recipes written in his book, if he doesn't remember them personally. Don't use any of my phantom membranes, they're hard to import. And-" Techno hesitates. "If you wait, instead, I'll teach you myself.""So... you're gonna teach me wood carving, jewelry... making, sign language, and now fucking potions ? I feel like I'm in school." He wants to learn it all so very badly. He doesn't have enough time in the fucking world.Unless."Gotta do somethin' with all that spare time you've got," Techno says. "We should only be gone three days at most. Preferably two. We'll call to let you know we're on our way back as soon as we're back to civilization-""Okay, Dadno. "Techno winces at that. "No. Look, just- just be safe. Okay?"Tommy hesitates a little. There's no real good response. Part of him wants to say he won't be- it would upset Techno, and he'd stay. Part of him wants to say he will be safe, without Techno, he doesn't need him- which would upset Techno, and he'd stay. Most of him knows that this is Fundy's big moment, where he 'embraces eternity' or whatever, and the whole family needs to be there for him, so Tommy can't fuck this up just because he's-Not jealous. He needs another word that means jealous without it making him seem like a fucking embarrassment. "I'll- be okay until you're back," Tommy decides to say.It's a good choice, and Techno gives him a small smile. "I'll be back soon, shoat.""Fuck off. Get out. Go."Despite them giving their goodbyes, Tommy follows Techno back to the front of the house. The rest of the family is there, fitting their things into the back of the car. Fundy stands off to the side, and Tommy peels away from Techno to wander over to him."Hi," Fundy greets him, a little awkwardly. He's been busy since Tommy started leaving his room again- something about working on a game? "You'll be okay while we're... gone, right?""Primes, I'll be fine. Are you going to be okay?"Fundy peers over at everyone else for a moment, making sure they're busy. Wilbur and Techno are arguing over how much Wilbur is trying to bring. "I'm... still nervous. They haven't told me what I have to do, yet, so I'm kind of-""You know you're probably going to have to kill people, right?" Fundy falls silent and stares at him. "...it's Old Magic. It's all about equal sacrifices. Living forever feels like it'd make you cut a bunch of other lives short.""That's... I don't think that's- they'd tell me first, wouldn't they-?"Tommy scoffs. "Yeah, right. I'm one hundred percent sure Wilbur wouldn't tell you until you were already in the mysterious location that doesn't have cell reception so you can't chicken out." Fundy chokes, realizing how super likely that is. "You should do it anyway, though. If they're gonna make you kill people, it'd probably just be people they would have killed anyway , so...""I'm not-!" Fundy lowers his voice. "I'm not a killer, Tommy, I'm a programmer! I made Minecraft, I'm not-""You fucking what?"Fundy pauses. "Did you not know that's the game I work on all the time?"Tommy is fucking awestruck. He's never played it himself before, but Dream and his friends played it when they weren't on patrol. Tommy always thought it was cool, even though he had to watch from the doorway so Dream wouldn't notice his presence. How the fuck did Dream not mention his boyfriend made the one and only good video game? "You made fucking Minecraft .""I mean, I have a team now that it's bigger, but yeah," Fundy says bashfully before shaking his head. "That's not the point, I'm not- I can't kill people-""It's easier than you think, fox boy. Okay, think of it this way-" Tommy grins at him. "When you're immortal, no one can ever take over Minecraft after your death and add microtransactions."Fundy's eyes go wide, and then he sighs. "I hate that that felt like a good reason for a moment.""They won't even wait until you're cold before they decide how to put the dragon behind a paywall.""My team is better than that-""Yeah, for now. When some sleazy wrong'un offers them money in exchange for the rights? Suddenly netherite is DLC-only.""Stop, stop," Fundy says with a little laugh. "I'll- look, I'll figure out what to do when I actually know, okay? I... I'll figure it out."Tommy pauses before patting him on the back. "Good luck. Have fun. Only kill wrong'uns. Make sure one of them is Wilbur."He laughs again, a little louder. "Shut up, Tommy. Um, I'll see you when we're back.""See you when you're a god or something." Tommy wanders back towards the house, ignoring Wilbur calling his goodbyes.He steps inside, shuts the door, and waits until he hears the car drive away. Then-"It's time to fucking party, boys!" he calls out.Ranboo pokes his head out from the kitchen. "We're... not partying, though?""Look, I know you guys are used to no adult supervision, but this is the first time I've been really alone since I stayed in Las Nevadas," Tommy huffs. "And before that, it was never. So we are going to eat everything in the fridge, watch something rated R, and maybe go through Wilbur's room for anything interesting.""No point," Tubbo calls from a distance. "I already went through it.""....yeah, I shouldn't be surprised by that," Tommy says. "Junk food and movies will do."Ranboo steps out of the kitchen, his arms full of large bags of chips. Wilbur actually did go shopping for them, which was... alright of him. Tommy is going to milk this whole 'Wilbur trying to get on his good side' thing as long as possible. He carries them off to the living room, Tubbo meeting him partway from... wherever he was... to grab half.Tommy's eyeing the hall closet, trying not to think about how Techno left the cape in the hall closet specifically so he could put it in the nest, when the landline starts ringing. He rolls his eyes- it's been five minutes, max, and they've gone over everything a dozen times, there is literally nothing they should be calling about.He reaches out for the phone, but hesitates- he was never allowed to answer Dream's phone, and Tommy hasn't gotten a call on his new cell phone since everyone he knows lives here. It's kind of weird. He picks it up and holds it to his ear. "Hey?"" Tommy ," Quackity says, sounding wrecked. "No one's answering their phones, where are they?""Oh- uh, they just left for a trip. What's going on? They'll probably answer a call from me.""They-?" The line goes quiet for a second, and Tommy almost thinks Quackity hung up before he starts up again. "No, it's- I don't need them. Tommy, can you- can I hire you? Please, it's- it's an emergency, I don't know what to do-""Whoa, hang on, Big Q, what- what happened?"Tubbo drops a hand on Tommy's shoulder, startling him. "It's Quackity? What's wrong?"Tommy doesn't have time to answer as Quackity answers, but he shifts the phone so they can both hear. "It's Charlie. He's... he got hurt. Badly. He's- it's a burn, I don't know what burning does to slime, he's not responding or- or-"Tubbo gasps sharply before running to the other room. Tommy puts the phone back to his ear, trying not to panic. "I don't... I don't know if I can heal that, big man. I mean, he's not a... I can try. I'll definitely fucking try, Charlie's-" His first friend after escaping Dream. The guy he could talk to about anything, because god knows the slime with zero social skills wouldn't judge him for it. The one who taught him to make flower crowns. "I'll try."Quackity takes a shaking breath. "Good. Good, I- I'll send Karl to get you, he's- I think he's near you-"Tubbo walks back into the hall, Ranboo rushing alongside him. "Where are you and Charlie now?""Uh- the casino's basement, he got in the way of- someone's training-""Don't bother sending Karl. I know a teleporter, I'll be there in two seconds." Tommy puts the phone down, ignoring Quackity's response, even though it sounds alarmed. Probably just figuring out that Tommy has a connection to Tubbo. Doesn't matter right now. "Some training place beneath the casino?" he asks Ranboo.Ranboo's eyes light up. "I remember there! Mr. Quackity's fiancé was there, and he-""Not the time, Boo," Tubbo interrupts, voice tight.He ducks his head and takes them both by the arms. "Right, I'm-"A flash of purple and black, void as far as the eye can see-"-sorry," Ranboo finishes, letting go of them, and Tommy stumbles hard, almost falling to the ground. That was... disorienting.Not as disorienting as the sight in front of him. Quackity, a mess, his suit scorched and hands covered in burn blisters. Charlie, barely shaped like a person, laid out on the floor, his slime still bubbling, how long has it been-?Sapnap, hovering over Quackity, his eyes wide in shock when they meet Tommy's. "Tommy?""...Pandas?"Where is Tommy's Protector when he needs him?