I'm a Healer, But...

24

Tommy only realizes he's moved when he's fumbling with the front door, struggling to unlock and open it. There are so many footsteps behind him and he's panicking, but he manages to throw it open and step outside-Just as strong arms wrap around him, keeping him from running. He screeches and digs his nails into the arms, but they don't even flinch, pulling him back inside. "No, let go, fucking let go!""Lock the door," Techno tells one of the others, his voice gruffer than usual, and he holds Tommy tighter as he thrashes more. He starts walking back, further into the house, completely ignoring Tommy's desperate attempts to escape.He freezes a little when he realizes they're heading towards Techno's so-called den , the place Techno's never let him in willingly. It's also the place he stores all his knives and-Phil makes another bird noise from behind them, one of the calming ones he used when Wilbur was Withered, that seems to mean something like 'you're safe, I have you'. "Techno, take him to the nest instead, okay?"Techno huffs. "I need-""I know, but you heard him. He needs the nest.""I- I don't need shit, bitch," Tommy says, heart pounding. He's still frozen in place, no longer fighting Techno's grasp because it's pointless , maybe if he just stays very very still and is very very good he'll get another chance to run-Techno redirects their path, carrying him to the nest, while the others all hover around them, probably ready to grab him if he manages to get away.He's still tensed up when Techno drops him in the nest, surprisingly gentle. The nest is cozy, but it doesn't feel safe, not anymore, not with all of them just looking at him-"Tommy," Phil murmurs as he kneels down next to the nest. "Why didn't you tell us you were an avian?" He's grinning , like Tommy didn't just try to run from the Syndicate-Wait. What did he just say?Wilbur's in just as good a mood as he flops down in the nest, near but not in arm's reach of Tommy. "Oh, this would have been so much easier if we knew earlier.""Clay never mentioned that Tommy was an avian, " Fundy says curiously from the doorway."That's probably why he's nervous all the time, and why he likes Techno best!" Wilbur exclaims. "He feels like he's in another avian's territory-""Or he just actually likes me the most," Techno huffs, hovering over the nest."He'll like me and Phil more when his instincts accept that he's flock-"Something about that makes Tommy snap out of being frozen. "What are you fucking talking about? I'm not an avian!" He's extremely uncomfortable and overwhelmingly scared, but he needs answers.The room goes quiet, which is the exact opposite of getting answers. "Tommy," Phil says a little unsurely. "It's a little late to say that, mate. Pretty clear you're an avian.""...okay, but consider this," Tommy says, clapping his hands together. "I'm not?""Mate, you chirped- "Part of him thinks he should let them believe that, so they won't get mad at him, but also how angry would they be to find out later? They seem... excited about it, but he's not a bird like them. "It was a dumb fucking- I just make weird noises sometimes! That doesn't mean I'm a hybrid."Phil sighs. "You're not going to convince us. Human throats can't chirp like that."Tommy... can't really process that. He just stares at Phil blankly. "What?"That just makes him look concerned . "Tommy, do you... do you not know? "Before he can answer- another denial, because there's no way he's an avian- Wilbur interrupts. "How could he not know? He's sixteen! He should have started making a nest at thirteen at the latest , that's not something you can just brush off-""Trauma can stifle instincts," Phil murmurs, clearly worried. "If he grew up with enough stress, it could have pushed it off until he felt safe-"Wilbur groans, leaning back further into the blankets. "And he never feels safe..."Tommy bristles. "Can you fucking bitches not talk about me like I'm not right the fuck here? I'm telling you, I'm not an avian! Hey, riddle me this, dickhead, if I'm supposed to be an avian, where are my goddamn wings, huh?" Checkmate.Wilbur just rolls his eyes. "Tommy, remember when I talked to you about hybrid genetics? If you had a human parent- especially if your avian parent also had a human parent- you're not going to have as many traits as people who are mostly avian. Hell, most avians don't have wings anymore! It's usually just the vocal cords, or sometimes talons."...so... maybe it wasn't checkmate. But it's still not true. There's no way Tommy's gone his whole life being part bird without realizing it once. "Still, I'm not-"Phil chirps at him again, something like he's trying to comfort him. Tommy has to stifle a chirp of his own, an automatic reaction, and Phil frowns, doing it again but worried, like he's saying 'you're safe, what's wrong?' And- everything's wrong, he hasn't forgotten that they're all pretending to want him, like they actually care about him-He warbles, a sad sound he hasn't made in a long time, so long he barely remembers ever making it, and Phil's face crumples like Tommy told him he just killed his cat or something. "Oh, Tommy...""Uh, translation for the non-birds in the room?" Techno asks.Tommy grits his teeth. "No," he says before Phil or Wilbur can answer him. "There's no translation because it's not- I didn't mean to do that! Fuck off!""Do we- do we leave them alone, or...?" Fundy whispers to Techno, a little too loud."I'm not going anywhere," he answers firmly, and Tommy sinks further into blankets underneath him. He wants to be left alone in the nest- no, he wants to leave, he wants to fucking run.He needs to get away from them. He thought it was fine, that they'd keep treating him like an employee, but they want to make him immortal just to keep him. It only took Dream a few years to completely drop the nice big brother facade. How long would the Syndicate take? And how the fuck would he get away from them if he was immortal, so there wouldn't even be an end date to look forward to?Well, he could always kill himself. He doesn't know if he could go through with it, though. Or if his powers would even let him- he'd probably just panic and heal on instinct.Phil and Wilbur are talking but he isn't listening- he doesn't even know if they're talking to him or each other. Tommy's just sitting here, feeling distant and tired, too tired to try to run again right now. Maybe tomorrow, they'll leave him alone a little and he can try again. Maybe-"-take shifts," Phil murmurs when Tommy tunes back in. It seems like they realized he wasn't paying attention. "I'll do most of them, he'll need me around to help guide him through his instincts.""I can help too," Wilbur complains."No, you can't," Techno grunts. "He doesn't like you, he'll start freakin' out again if we leave him with you.""He likes me! He-""Your powers remind him of 404 knockin' him out, and you're the one who made him panic over the idea of us likin' him."Tommy hates them all, but especially Techno. He told him about what George did to him in confidence, and he's just talking about it like it's nothing- and how the fuck can he pretend it's all Wilbur's doing when he's the one who broke his promise? Or- kind of broke it, since he said Tommy wasn't going to be family but they're all pretending he'll be family. Fuck, he's confused. He's tired.He curls up and watches them blankly as Phil shoos the others out of the room, despite Wilbur's whining and Techno's repeated refusals. Fundy just gives Tommy a concerned look before leaving with them- it gives him a little hope. Wilbur said something about how he was afraid to scare Fundy off, which means Fundy can be scared off, which means... maybe Tommy can get his help. Maybe.Phil sighs and kneels in front of the nest again. "This is all pretty overwhelming for you, isn't it?"Tommy's tired , but not enough that he isn't pissed at the condescension. "Fuck you," he says, lacking the energy he wants to put behind it.It gets a small smile out of Phil, though. "I know, I know. It's a lot all at once, and you can't let yourself believe any of it. But you are an avian, we do care about you, and our offer of eternity is genuine. You can-""I don't want it," Tommy snaps, curling up further. "I won't become immortal just for- just for you fucks to use my healing for all of fucking time."Phil's expression doesn't change, and for a moment Tommy feels a weird mix of hurt, disappointed, and victorious. If Phil actually gave a shit, he'd be upset at Tommy turning down his so-called offer, but he doesn't care-"That's fine, Tommy. But you're always free to change your mind, okay? It's never too late. Wilbur might be a little disappointed if you get older than him, but at least Fundy could stop fretting about his future uncle being younger than him," he chuckles, and Tommy's heart stops.They're fucking immortal. They work on a different fucking timeline- they can wait him out for his whole fucking lifespan, and it's nothing compared to how long Phil has been alive. If they want his powers, it doesn't matter if he's sixteen or ninety-six. They can wait.Tommy can't hold out forever. Especially not if they're maybe right about the bird thing, because they have to be fucking experts at manipulating bird instincts, and he's read the short, lacking avian section in his book, but just those few paragraphs mentioned imprinting and how much it can fuck someone up-He's fucked. He's so fucked. Despite himself, he starts to tear up, and Phil coos at him, don't be sad I'm here you're safe. It's just another fucking lie.He hides his head in his knees, the weakest way to hide his tears, and he shudders when Phil runs a hand through his hair. He can't pretend that it's Phil being nice, he can't let himself think that even for a moment, because even if he's fucked he has to last as long as he can. He can't cave into their kindness, he can't accept their lies- he has to rebel , the way he never could with Dream, because if he doesn't he'll never fucking forgive himself.Not for all of eternity.