We all have things about ourselves we have to learn to accept and show others. We helped each other learn that, for me it was the crossdressing and the struggles of me being gay for him it was his past but together those things went from things we d...
Rains POV "I feel you pulling away using my name instead of the sweet names it.. it makes me feel like we aren't close anymore like you dont care anymore.." I trailed off trying to hold back the sob that was in my throat. I didn't intend to do this here. I was gonna ask him at home but it hurt. It hurt and I couldn't take it any more. I finally realized that at some point I had fallen to my knees and I was shaking. Phi stood there shocked and he looked sad. I know him well enough to know that right now he's leveling his voice, figuring out what to say all of that but I don't want something preplanned I just want him to tell me how he feels right now "stop thinking of some answer you think will be the best or will please me and just tell me okay, why are you pulling away from me?" Once I finished talking a bit of shock entered his expression and he nodded once "is that how you feel every time I behave like this rain?" There it was again that stab in my chest. "no...normally it's good I like that you care about me enough to try so hard to make sure your answer is gentle and is the best thing to say to me but this time I just.. I want to know the truth and what your thinking not the sweet tailored version because your afraid of how I'll react." He was silent for a moment then nodded again "as you wish" was all he said "but first let's go somewhere a bit more... private." He walked over and held out a hand to help me of the ground and I took it I still didn't know why he was doing this so if this was the last time I got to hold his hand I did not want to miss that. He started leading me down a bunch of halls and stairs untill we got to a large door. It was simple it was all black with a gold handle. It also has two letters in gold P, T they were in a very elegant font that seemed to fit the door and house well.
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Payus POV As I led him to the door he seemed so dejected almost. Knowing that it's because of me is the worst feeling I've ever had. It was guilt and pain and anger at myself and some things I dont even know how to explain. "Are you ready to go inside?" I turned to him as I asked? He just nodded without looking at me. I opened the door and he seemed to like it. My room wasn't all that crazy compared to every other room in the house but I suppose it was a bit much if you hadn't been in it before.
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I had let dad and papa decorate it and the results were a bit crazy. "Phi it's so..pretty" rain mumbled. "Thank you my fathers did it right before I moved in the house next to the garage and university." I stopped before I finished "this is one of the only rooms Bodyguards can't enter without permission so we can speak freely." Rain nodded again"then talk I've already asked my question" he had a look in his eyes I knew all to well a look that meant this wasn't over untill I answered. "Sit down first" I made my way to the bed with him following suit. "Rain...I've been in this family since I was a child. I have seen and done many things that make me much less of a good person than you believe me to be. I have seen people do much less than I have and still be abandoned by those who swore to stand by them. I have seen what happens when the enemies in the underworld learn if others weaknesses and I have seen people ripped apart because of it. When you swore to be by my side you didn't know what you were getting into, now you know a bit but still don't know just how truly dangerous this is and that leaves you with a choice. A choice I have to be ready to accept."
Rains POV The realization hit me like a truck.He thought I was going to leave because of this. He was feeling the same way I did this morning but instead of breaking down the way I did he was pulling away from me. He was doing this to protect himself. I stood up from the bed and hugged him. I could feel him stiffen for about thirty seconds before he relaxed and wrapped his arms around me "I'm not going anywhere Phi" I whispered to him "I love you and im staying by your side." "Please forgive me sweet boy I never meant to hurt you" he was crying now. P'payu was crying. Rain had only seen him cry one other time. When rain had been kidnapped. "It's okay Phi it's okay I forgive you" phi hugged me tighter and I could tell he just needed to stay like this for awhile and I was happy to.
