C.Cullen; between lions and men

Act I; Scene XVI

Forgiveness is both a decision and a process

Almost a month later and Silas was leaning over the railing connected to the balcony at the Cullens residence. He wouldn't lie the view was beautiful but it was his current thoughts that distracted him from its beauty. The sky wasn't gloomy nor was it raining for once but that still didn't bring him out of his thoughts. At that point, nothing could. The burn in his lungs from his cigarette only added to the distraction. Two and a half days earlier his younger sister had been hunted, taunted, tortured, Tormented, and injured by some psychotic vampire. Silas wasn't able to do anything about it and it was eating him alive. He couldn't cope with the thought of Bella being hurt and he was unable to do anything about it. The icing on the cake was Bella being in Forks General I.C.U with the possibility she wouldn't wake up. It made Silas furious and terrified. If he lost Bella that would be it for him. He wouldn't know what to do with himself. Charlie would either work or drink himself to death and Silas would eventually kill himself. There would be no Bella to clean up the mess. Silas would have no reason to get out of bed. Charlie would have no reason to keep the happy facade up anymore. Truly Silas hadn't realized until that moment that everything worked together because Bella was the glue holding it all up. They had all been taking advantage of her strength and the ones who didn't underestimated her. Silas wasn't afraid of the Cullens or other vampires until two almost three days ago. He had seen what they were truly capable of. Wolves in sheep's clothing, that's what the Cullens are. Originally he had an idea of what the vampire race was capable of doing. Although he was unaware of the sadism and cruelty they were so very fond of. Ripping and tearing off limbs to then burn them to ash. How sadistic and cruel could you get? Playing with prey only to gain amusement from their horror...Sadistic. The bite wound he carried on his jugular would attest to the true nature of a vampire. How long would it be before the Cullens illusion of harmlessness and normality finally broke? Carslile was known for having the best control but everyone slips up and makes mistakes, right? Silas would not allow himself to be the next 'Slip up' accident nor would he allow Bella to be one. He knew the scent of human blood tempted even the most controlled and trained vampires. They were the prey, and the Cullens, the predators. How long would they bask in the scent till the temptation finally won? It put him on edge, he took a risk that night in their garden, and he's taking a risk even being at their home. Unlike his younger sister, Silas had no desire to become like the Cullens. Ruled by defying the temptation of human blood only to put yourselves at the bottom of the food chain by surviving off animals, all because of 'good morals'. He had seen what vampires could do up close and that pushed him even farther away from the desire of being changed into a vampire. Silas thought his sister was slightly insane for begging to be changed. " Tell me, why do have no desire of becoming like us." Edward's smooth voice did not frighten or shock Silas, he was too far gone in his thoughts to be scared by a teenage vampire. Silas had no use for the boy that was the reason why his sister was in the hospital. He never liked Edward to begin with now the only feelings that stood for the male were hatred. Silas took another drag from his cigarette holding in the smoke for a moment then exhaling. Flicking off the ashes he replied" Life and death have an equal value to me" His answer was simple enough that it gave no need to be explained. "Though you still have no desire for our lifestyle." Silas hadn't turned once to look Edward in the face. Call him rude but he had no care for the male that stood behind him. "Lifestyle?" His laugh was cruel and cold, the word lifestyle that Edward gave to their coven was like a joke. " You can hardly call it a lifestyle when you're dead, plus I'd rather die and stay dead." Edward hummed as he ran his hand through his already artfully styled messy hair. Silas did not appreciate his thoughts being interrupted nor did he particularly care for the conversation at hand. It was tiresome and extremely boring. " Bella just got discharged." Edward was always one to wait for the perfect moment to swoop in and save the day. Silas would not fall for his charm so easily as Bella did. Forks wasn't safe for Bella as he once thought. It eased Silas to know Bella was healthy enough to go home. " I tried to convince her to go to Jacksonville with Renee but she wouldn't listen." Silas smiled at the thought of Bella being stubborn. It was good to know she was back to being herself. "Renee was begging Bella to agree." Silas shook his head, Bella wouldn't willingly go play mother and housewife while Renee acted like a toddler anymore. He knew that Bella would Refuse even with Edward telling him that she did. "It'd be safer for her." Now that was something everyone could agree on. It would be safer but Bella was often stupid and selfish. Not caring for the worry, pain, and danger she was putting everyone through. But what could Silas say he had no room to talk, none at all. He'd done his fair share of hell-raising, and abusing their father's love. Edward turned and walked away without another word pushing past his lips. Silas was left alone with his thought and long-forgotten cigarette. The next person to keep Silas company was Carslile, he brought Silas comfort but with the comfort he brought rage. "I'd never hurt you, my dear, never" How could Silas believe such a lie all anyone has ever done is hurt him in more ways than one. Silas knew four very terrifying but the first three he was sure about. First Carslile was a vampire, Second there is a part of him that Silas didn't know how dominant that part may be but it thirsted for his blood, Third Silas trusted in Carsliles control as he stopped the venom from spreading within his bloodstream. and fourth, Silas was begging to be unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Carslile. Despite knowing these things he still couldn't believe Carslile wouldn't ever hurt him. "How can I believe that?" Silas asked turning to face Carslile. The man's eyes were hollow and his face twisted into a frown. "I've seen what your kind is capable of doing, Take a long look at my throat." Silas's tone was cruel and mocking, no matter how fast he may be falling for the vampire he was still full of rage. " Do you see it?" Silas sneered at Carslile giving the man no room for repenting. He stormed away leaving Carslile alone on the balcony full of guilt and sorrow. His eyes welled up with tears of blood, he did not wish for any of this to happen. He would never allow forgiveness for himself in his eyes he committed an unholy act that should never be forgiven. Carslile failed Silas in keeping them safe and now Silas had to bear the mark of Carsliles failures. He'd understand if Silas never forgave him as he would never forgive himself.

I'm proud to announce that there is one more chapter left and then we will be moving on to new moon, I hate to say that I won't be posting the first chapter of the second book until I reach 1k views it's been a small goal of mine to reach at least 1k and as the numbers grew little by little It was like a reward every time I uploaded a new chapter, I'm glad that this story is like by a few people that is more than I could ever ask for truly. Please do not be afraid to comment with your ideas or just little tidbits I always appreciate feedback don't forget to vote and share thank you for reading , really guys I couldn't have done it without yall