Beneath the Waves

Self

You know when people go eat pray love in another country, and come back saying that they 'found themselves', that they became their 'true self' while they were away. Ria never really understood that. She thought she had always felt like herself. But gliding through the water at lightning speed, she finally understood what her real true 'self' felt like. She had always felt at home in her body, comfortable and at ease, but compared to how she was feeling now, it all seemed fake. She felt more alive, more real than she ever had. Webbed fingers and toes helping her cut through the water like it was air. Breathing oxygen dissolved in water as it flows over her gills. She had never breathed fresher 'air' before. The feeling of being submerged, breathing, moving through the water like a hot knife through butter, she felt powerful. Her eyes had adjusted and were able to see under water unhindered, her nostrils had seals that closed as she dove, her body... her entire body was the colour of apatite. A beautiful turquoise adjacent colour with kintsugi of the color of desert sand. She felt beautiful. Perfect. Otherworldly.

The sun was setting, bathing the water in the hot glow of light dipping beyond the surrounding pines. It was getting dark, which was good for her because she wanted to test something. She swam, quite elegantly if she could say so herself, to the edge of the lake, knee deep she stood up and slowly breathed in. For a moment she thought that she wouldn't be able to breathe on land, but it seemed as though her lungs still worked. She kept walking... ankle deep... a few more steps and she was out of the water completely. She stood on land waiting for something to happen. Was she going to turn back? She just realized that she never got that far in the book. How was she supposed to turn back into a human? She couldn't live out the rest of her days as some kind of lake monster in the middle of nowhere. She grabbed the knife, reading the inscription once again, trying to see if there was a hidden clue as to how she could become human again. She didn't bring the book with her, and everything else she found in the basement was in her room. There was no way for her to figure this out right now. God she was an idiot. Why the hell would she be this reckless?? I mean... she really was pretty reckless in general, but this was not the time. This was a time for thorough research. It then dawned on her that she had better get dressed and get out of there, because if someone came walking down to the lake they would probably not take kindly to finding a half naked sea monster or water monster or whatever she was standing there freaking out having a panic attack. She tried to steady her breath, putting on her jeans and hoodie (god she was glad she wore a hoodie today). Hood up, shoes on, she grabbed her stuff and made her way back to her car. Luckily it was nearly completely dark and the road home should be mostly abandoned. She passed one or two cars along the way, imagining them staring at her as they drove past, but that was impossible, they couldnt' see her it was too dark (or that's what she kept telling herself). Every time she caught a red traffic light she tried to hide as inconspicuously as possible, not wanting to draw attention to herself. Maybe she could play it off as a costume, or a mask or makeup... anything was possible these days.

The drive was mostly uneventful, apart from one intersection where a kid kept pointing at her and laughing. His parents luckily looked too exhausted to pay him much attention. So they didn't even bother looking over at her. She drove as fast as she could and in less than 30 minutes she pulled into her apartment complex where, of course, Chris' car was sat outside waiting. They didn't have plans. Not that she could remember anyway. But now Chris was here, waiting for her, seeing her pull into the complex. She was looking down and only caught the end of Ria's car as she pulled in. In her rear view mirror she saw Chris getting her stuff together and getting out of the car. Ria sped through the narrow streets to where her assigned parking was, grabbed everything she could and sprinted up the stairs. She ran into her room, slamming the door shut behind her. She grabbed the book and started frantically paging through it, trying to find the page detailing the ritual. Just as she landed on the page she heard Chris' knock at the door "It's open!" she shouted, barely keeping the panic out of her voice, "I'm just changing"!. She heard the door open and click shut. "Ria are you okay?" came Chris' voice, closer to her room's door than she would have liked "you sound like you're having a panic attack again", "I'm fine! I'm just cold! I fell into a pool of water at the mall" she lied. "Okay, if you say so, I'll be here" Chris didn't sound convinced, but her footsteps receded and Ria could hear the sound of her sitting down on the couch. Back to the book, she found it. SHE FOUND IT! Oh my god she almost audibly let out an "Oh my god" but remembered that Chris was right outside. She crossed her arms over her chest, hands covering the opposite side's gills and whispered the words "ambulare super terram". With that she felt the weirdest feeling. Like if someone poured water all over your body, but in reverse. Starting from her feet, her skin once again back to its original colour, the feeling continuing up her body to the very tip of her head where she felt her hair fall and drape around her shoulders as if someone was holding it, and suddenly drop it. She looked at her hands. No webbing. She went to the mirror. No Apatite skin to be found. She breathed another sigh of relief. That was way too close for comfort. She quickly changed her clothes, hid all her monster stuff, and opened her bedroom door, joining Chris on the couch. 

"You seem different" Chris said after a few minutes of silence, " I can't put my finger on it, but you seem more confident, more at ease", she sounded suspicious.

"Yeah well, probably because I have the best girlfriend in the world", she tried to flatter Chris, but she wasn't having it.

"Did something happen that I'm not aware of? I saw you yesterday, and you weren't like this. What changed?"

"God, nothing changed, I promise, I'm just in a good mood okay? You surprised me and I'm happy to see you can't that be all?" she started getting annoyed now too,

Chris wasn't backing down "if there's something happening in your life you should surely want to share it with your life partner?? Why are you being so secretive these days? Is there someone else?"

Now Chris knew she was projecting with the whole secretive thing, because she was definitely being secretive with all the random paranormal things that have been happening, but she was also annoyed because why the hell did she have to go through this really weird time alone, while it seemed like Ria was having a great time. Ria, who was supposed to be dealing with her parents' divorce. Why was she being like this, she knew she was being irrational but at the same time she couldn't stop herself. It was like she had this rage building up inside her and the only logical outlet was to throw it at Ria.

"I just feel like there's something you aren't telling me, and it's driving me crazy!" Chris was almost shouting at this point, which was really weird, because Ria had never heard her like this.

"I'm not hiding anything. Love, please, let's talk this through, what's bothering you? Did something happen?" she was trying to stay calm, rein in her annoyance and have a grown up conversation with Chris.

Still Chris wasn't having it, she continued "I just feel like... I feel like you... you're just...UGH! I don't know. I'm leaving!" and with that, Chris stood up, before Ria could even register what had just happened, she was out the door, the slam echoing through her apartment. Then silence. Confusion. What had just happened?