Dsaf oneshots

Magical girls are something else man

This was a collab with my lovely friend  ThyGoddessOuijaThicc also sorry for no spacing, this is copy pasted right from our discord.

(Ouija)

Jacky boi was walking down the road enjoying a 60ft long string of sausages he bought from the local farmers market that the owners promised didn't contain meth (but definitely did). His awesome sausage day was ruined when he walked into a large pile of watermelons. This caused his hit box to glitch and he went fucking flying. Jack crashed through his own window and landed in his anniversary edition pong arcade machine lmao L. He woke up in an infinite pizzeria like infinite ikea. He saw a gay reptile. "Oh shid it's my ex I thought I killed that bitch" he thought to himself. He casually approached the walking eggplant emoji. "OH SHIT WHUDDUP LIZARD BUSSY!!!" Dave turned around on his heelies so criiiingeeeee "Welcome to the flipside, give us your balls." "Wha-" "GIVE US YOUR BALLS." "Ayo whatever what are you doing in my Christian Minecraft server." "I've been here since you ganged up on my ass with phoney" "L + ratio + cope + who asked + skill issue" "): killing me was mean old sport, I'm writing a call-out post. You're getting canceled." "NOOOOOooooOOOOOoooo!" Dave starts to Fortnite default dance. "Wait but you dieded?" "Sadly yes... BUT I LIVED!" Jack violently gasps and explodes. The two start repeatedly Minecraft crouching as some kind of creepy mating ritual. Suddenly a purple doggo violently shoots into the room like meteor and hits them both in the fucking face then explodes To be continued 

(Iral)

 When they wake up they're in some weird high school looking place, wearing some sailor moon looking ass outfits. Jack's holding onto a staff with a little orange pendant on the end while Dave has a simuler staff but with an eggplant pendent. They look at each other quickly, trying to make sense out of the situation. "Dave what the fuck just happened?" Jack asked, groning as he held his head in his hands. Just as Dave was about to answer a man with a red rotary phone for a head burst into the room the two men were currently in. "Please! You gotta help me!" He cried out before a bullet from behind him shot through through the head. Boom headshot lol Another stray bullet shot Dave, he probably would have died hade his massive boobs not taken the brunt of the force. 

(Ouija)

"Holy shit old sport I got big naturals." Jack didn't respond and instead started hitting the griddy. Henry comes into the room wearing a magical maid dress. "Dad?! Is that where you've been all these years???" "I'm not your father you fugly bitch." Henry says. "Lmao fatherless." Jack says, distraction dancing at Dave. Henry turns into a tentacle monster lol. Dave and Jack transform into weird cat maid magical girl outfits and pull out flamethrowers. "I LIKE YOUR CUT G" Jack says before they start incinerating the pink maid squid. 

(Iral)

The skittle squad continued to burn the man until their flamethrowers ran out of flames to throw. As Henry died Jack and Dave stared longingly into each others eyes, as Dave was about to speak up the tangerine started default dancing. The aubergine then joined him in his silly little dance, and all was well (atleast for now). 

Tomorrow is another day.