Left Out Again | Jeongchan

32

Days had passed and Jeongin was currently looking at the tiny shoes he bought with a smile. "These are adorable!.... he would've returned these if I would've still been with him and asked him."

"What are you thinking Jeongin? You guys broke up such a long time ago. Why are you thinking about him so suddenly? He wasn't good with you the way Chan is"

Jeongin frowned before getting up from the couch he was laying on, taking the tiny shoes with him. The pink and blue haired boy put the tiny shoes in his Tote bag his boyfriend bought for him when they met before walking out to the bathroom to get ready to go grocery shopping.

Recently, the fox like boy had been carrying the tiny human shoes everywhere with him, even to work. The small shoes were in his bag traveling everywhere he went.

When Jeongin was on break during work, he would take the shoes out and smile at them instead of eating. The younger boy did this so often, Chan caught him looking at the tiny necessity.

No, the blue and pink haired boy didn't do this in front of his boyfriend as he thought he would tell him to stop being obsessed with the shoes. That's exactly why Jeongin mostly did it when he was alone.

The fox like boy looked at himself in the mirror "I need to lose more weight. I have such a big double chin, it's so ugly......"

"I think I know why Chan doesn't want to have a kid yet. He probably doesn't want the kid to have a fat parent like me or for the kid to be embarrassed to have me as a parent. Chan's always reasonable. That's probably why."

The blue and pink haired boy started fixing his hair but stopped when he looked at his arm. Oh. That. "Why are these so ugly? Theres no way Chan still likes me after such a long time. I don't think he likes my body with these scars or just my body in general."

"He probably thinks the scars are really disgusting." The boy started thinking "he probably thinks I'm disgusting. Why would he want to be with anyone like me? I'm so disgusting"

The boy thought as he started harshly scratching his skin. His breathing became uneven and the sharp object in a drawer was calling his name.

He opened the drawer and took out the razor blade to start forcefully sliding it across his wrist, blood leaving through the open area, to the surface of the skin and blade.

The boy repeated this multiple times before his breathing started to even out. He held the blade with shaking hands before dropping it in the sink.

Tears falling down his face during the whole process. Even though his breathing was even, his crying was now uncontrollable.

Now Chan was really going to think he was disgusting. He let out loud sobs as he covered his face, feeling disgusted in himself.

Just as the boy was going to start scratching his freshly cut skin, the doorbell rang.