After my first day of classes, I made my way to the great hall. It felt kind of nice helping the kids with their work in class but I wished I was teaching. I didn't understand why I had to share with Slughorn especially when I just sit back and watc...
Severus stood up and started to get ready for bed. He took off his trousers and left himself in his boxers. Severus reached for the hemline of his shirt and lifted the top layer off. He still had his underlayer on. It was a white long-sleeved shirt. Still made me wonder why he wore the long-sleeved shirt to bed even though he already told me about his dark mark. He sat down on the bed and faced me. "What?" He asked.
"Just watching you," I smiled.
"You are still wondering why I am wearing a long sleeve shirt even though I told you about my dark mark huh?"
"Have you been reading my mind?"
"Only sometimes when you are in a trance," he said.
"You know you can tell me anything right?" I said.
Severus knew it was hard to open up to somebody, especially about the abuse he received at school and home. He didn't know if he could open up to Phoenix about it. Would she still want to be near him? Would she judge him for staying at his mothers' side even though his father was abusive to both of them? Would she take Sirius' side since they were together? All these thoughts going through his brain made him squirm.
Did she want him or was she just waiting for someone else to come along? Severus didn't feel attractive compared to other men his age. She had a spark in her eyes when she looked at him. He couldn't help but keep falling for her. To think he would fall for a former student.
Severus
"I don't want you to think of me differently than I am right now," I paused trying to think of what to say.
"I would not think any differently than I do right now," she said, "I want you to know I won't judge you or think otherwise."
I knew I needed to tell her, but it was hard opening up to someone. Phoenix was different though she made me feel happier. She has made a difference in my life even though it hasn't been that long. I haven't felt this way about anyone before not even Lily. Lily didn't love me back and would never but Phoenix I felt something when I looked at her and I knew she felt something too. Even though my brain tricks me into thinking she doesn't I just have to look at her and know.
"Okay," I said, "I did not have a great home life," I paused trying not to crack my voice, "My father which I haven't called him that in years was an abusive alcoholic. An abusive muggle. He would abuse my mother and myself included," I looked down at my lap, this wasn't me, I knew I was stronger than this so I looked up at Phoenix whose eyes were glistening. She was about to cry. "He ended up beating me with a long cord almost like an extension cord. I remember the day I stopped calling him father or dad and it was the worst beating my mom had gotten myself included. He didn't like that Mum and myself were magical," Phoenix's eyes were tearing up and she grabbed my hand and held it tightly. I smiled, I quite enjoyed having her comfort me.
I sighed, "The dark lord would punish us also," I shook my head, "if we didn't do what he would say he would tie us up with magic and wip us with magic. I being his number one I got the most abuse out it. Still being punished of course," thinking about the unbreakable vow and what I had to do would sit at the back of my brain. I wondered if I should tell her about what I had to do. I couldn't tell her though. I couldn't bare letting her know this. "Then in Hogwarts was abuse from," I paused.
"The Marauders," she finished my sentence. I nodded as I rubbed small circles on her small hands. "From being called awful things to being exposed to everyone at school to being pranked and almost killed," I looked at Phoenix's whose mouth was gapped and tears falling down her soft cheeks. "They are awful people."
"I knew Sirius was awful," she paused, "don't know much about Pettigrew or Potter. I know Remus but he didn't seem like an arsehole like Sirius."
"Remus," I paused, "I have to admit he is better than he was in school but then again it was mostly Black and Potter."
"What do you mean they exposed you?"
I gulped, "I was hung upside down outside and Potter with magic pulled my pants down. Exposing them to my white arse and," I looked down at my crotch.
"Oh," she said, "you have a nice cock though."
I smiled, "Thanks, but it wasn't hard like you have seen."
"Doesn't matter how big it is," she smiled, "if you know how to use it is what matters."
I nodded, I know how to use mine.
"That is the last reason why I don't take my shirt off," I said.
"Can I see?" She asked.
I sighed, "Are you sure you want to? They are nasty."
She nodded, "I would like to see all of you."
I chuckled, "Why?"
"Severus," she paused, "you are so goddamn attractive and I would love to look at you naked all day any day."
I smiled.
I'm attractive?
Nobody has ever said that to me. Well to my face anyway.
"You are extremely attractive," she smiled.
I cocked an eyebrow.
"I know you are thinking you aren't, Severus, I am not stupid I do the same thing to myself."
"You aren't just attractive," I growled, "you are beautiful." ----
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