Only, Always, and Forever You

34 - Sorry

Amara's POV:

I wake up to his warm scent, greeting me with its sweet, woody tone. Somehow, we managed to flip so that he is now the one laying on top of me with his face nuzzled in the crook of my neck. His light breath fans over my skin, sending goosebumps throughout my body at the closeness.

I bask in the warm feeling until I'm suddenly reminded of what happened last night.

He pretended like I didn't exist, like I didn't mean anything, and then he just comes in at 2:30 AM to cuddle?

As much as I love it, I can't let this continue. I can't let him keep playing around with me like this. I'm not some toy he can use when he wants to and then forget when he doesn't.

I break the moment and try to get up and out of the bed. He stirs in his sleep, letting out a muffled grumble into my neck, and goosebumps again shoot down my spine. I try to get up again, this time with a little more force, and I manage to get free.

I leave the grumbling body to lay on the bed as I get up and head to the bathroom. I need a shower more than anything right now. I know the hot water will calm my body.

* * *

After I shower, I wrap a large, fluffy towel around my body and use the brand new toothbrush on the counter to brush my teeth. Once I'm done, I use the assortment of skin and hair care products, appreciating the bougie brand names and ingredients.

I assume Cole has woken up and left by now, so I don't think twice about walking back into the bedroom to try and find my clothes from yesterday while only wearing a towel. I know it's gross to rewear clothes, but I don't exactly have a choice.

I must have misjudged how tired Cole was, considering he's still asleep on the bed in the exact same position he was in when I left him. When I close the bathroom door, he slightly stirs before turning his head to look at me.

He smirks, and I almost die at how adorable he looks with his bed head, but I remind myself of yesterday before I can swoon over him any more. I keep a blank face and walk around the room, trying to collect my clothes.

"Didn't know I was going to wake up to a show, princess," Cole teases with a smirk, now sitting up against the headboard of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest.

I look up at him and give him a glare, to which he chuckles quietly. I'm trying my absolute hardest to suppress the blush that's creeping onto my face, but I know I won't make it much longer, so I look away to hide it instead.

"If you're going to send me a glare, basically telling me to shut up, you shouldn't blush so hard at what I'm saying," Cole teases again, and this time his eyes roam up and down my body.

"Why are you so hot and cold with me?" I blurt out, genuinely wanting to know why he's so high one minute and low the next.

Cole's expression falters, and his smirk fades. His eyes fill with guilt and his playfulness is momentarily wiped away.

"I- I'm sorry," he starts.

"I just don't get it. I start to think we're close, and everything is great, but then you shut down and close yourself off from me. Like, you were pretending I was worth nothing yesterday evening, and then you come in to sleep in my room at 2:30 in the morning," I explain honestly.

I know I shouldn't care so much since he probably doesn't care at all. I told myself I didn't want to get attached because people always leave, and I feel like this is no different.

I want this to be different. I desperately want him to be different.

But I'm too scared to open myself up to the possibility of watching him leave me. Just like everyone else.

"You are not worth nothing," he states point blank, and before he says anything else, he looks at my face to make sure I heard what he said, "I need you to know that, Amara."

Suddenly, I find it hard to breathe, so all I can do is nod my head while meeting his green eyes.

"But then why ignore me?" I push after a second of catching my breath.

"I- I just-" he begins, and I can tell he's not the type to talk about his feelings. To try to make it easier for him I walk over to the bed and sit down next to him, still holding the towel close to my body.

"I just couldn't forgive myself if I somehow hurt you, and I knew that it was a guarantee if I let you get close," he blurts, and I get confused at his statement.

"What do you mean that it's a guarantee?" I question.

He sighs deeply before explaining, "I hurt everyone around me. That's just who I am. I'm a better person when I'm around you, but I don't want to give myself a chance in case I make a mistake and mess it all up."

"You don't hurt everyone around you, Cole," I assure him, placing my hand on his arm.

"You don't know that. You don't know me," he replies, looking up into my eyes, and I can see the pain he holds behind them.

"Then let me get to know you, Cole. Don't think about what could happen, just appreciate what's happening right now," I say, and I know a part of me is talking inwardly, talking to myself, "I want to know you. I want to understand who you are and how you think. I want to know what makes you happy and sad. God, I even want to know your favorite color!"

I laugh lightly, and I watch a smile rise on his face as he looks into my eyes endearingly.

"Amara," he says almost breathlessly.

"Cole," I reply, playfully copying him.

"How are you so perfect?" he asks, and I initially think he's being sarcastic, but his expression is genuine and riddled with admiration.

I blush and instinctively look down, but he moves his hand up to my chin and brings my face back up so that our eyes meet again. We look at each other in silence, and I watch as his eyes travel around my face, analyzing and savoring every little detail.

His gaze lingers at my lips, and suddenly I'm drowning in a warm, fuzzy feeling that I can't quite label.

My breath hitches when he begins to lean in closer, and as he inches towards me, I can smell his intoxicating scent more and more.

There's barely any space between our lips now, and I feel his cool, minty breath fan over my mouth, making me eager to taste him.

Just as I had hoped, Cole meets my lips, locking us in a passionate, gentle kiss. It's meaningful and pure, and sparks fly through the air around us as butterflies cluster in my stomach.

He lightly sucks on my bottom lip, making his movements purposeful and careful. His hands cup the sides of my face, and mine wrap behind his neck. The kiss continues, and he swipes his tongue across my lip, asking for entrance. I give in to him, as I'd be crazy not to, and our tongues dance as I embrace the feeling.

Eventually, we have to break the kiss to catch our breath, but our faces remain close. We lean our foreheads against each other, and my hands stay around his neck while his keep their place on my cheek.

We're breathing heavily, and neither of us can hold back the giant smiles plastering our faces. We stay like that for a moment, embracing the moment, before Cole speaks again.

"Let me bring you somewhere," he says, and I quirk an eyebrow at the seemingly random request, "Please?"

I smile at the adorable zeal in his voice, and I nod my head in agreement.

I'd be crazy to say no.

"But first, I need clothes," I state.

"Well, you don't need them," Cole says with a teasing smirk.

I send him a glare, to which he throws his arms up, feigning a surrender, but his smirk never falls. I can't help but smile.