Ronald McDonald x Jack in the Box

Act 1; Scene 1

(A/N: In this story, the pandemic started late September 2019)

[Enter Ronald and Mr Softee]

RONALD: I thank you for meeting me here.

                    I have something deeply important to discuss with you.

MR. SOFTEE: Of course, I would do anything to see you

                           And spend time in your presence.

                           What is it you require from me, my dear?

RONALD: With this global pandemic that is among us,

                    And you living so far away,

                    We will no longer be able to see each other.

MR. SOFTEE: What is it you are trying to say to me?

                            We could make this work, you know.

                             Living side by side for a few weeks wouldn't be

                            As bad as it might seem.

RONALD: You are missing the point, my dear.

                     We could never live side by side,

                     Our work is much too different for it to combine.

MR. SOFTEE: So, what plan do we have?

                            Do we have one at all?

RONALD: Yes, I am afraid.

                    This is the reason I have gathered you here

                     In the first place.

                     The news might be heard for you to bare,

                     So I suggest you seize a tissue or two.

[Ronald pulls out a tissue box, and Mr. Softee quickly grabs a handful]

MR. SOFTEE: Now, what is it?

                            Tell me, tell me now!

RONALD: I hope you understand.

                   But I think that for the time being

                   It would be much better for the both of us

                   If we broke up, my dear.

MR. SOFTEE: But why?!

                           Why is this necessary?

                           I personally feel it to not be.

RONALD: It's for the best, darling.

                    We weren't meant to last long anyways.

                    You see, although I had fallen for you in the process,

                    The only reason we came to be is because of a plan

                     That was put in place by my father.

                     This plan included becoming close to you,

                     Only for the pure benefit of receiving your Ice Cream recipe.

                     You see, my business has been failing in this department recently,

                     And we needed to get it back on track.

                    The first step of this was to get better Ice Cream after fixing

                    The machine itself, of course.

                     Which had been done long, long ago.

MR. SOFTEE: So, all of this was just a lie?

                           Just a ruse in order for you to improve?

                           Thankfully I never dared to hand you my secret recipe,

                           Or my mother would go berserk!

RONALD: Yes, well, that was a bit unfortunate.

                    Luckily, all of our dating has cause you

                   To go down in sales, for I have distracted you so much,

                   You haven't had your soldiers circling around the near neighbourhoods

                   For almost a year!

                   So, it seems my mission is complete.

                   So, I bid you a good day.

[Ronald exits]

[Mr. Softee exits]