[Enter Ronald and Wendy]
WENDY: I'm surprised your dad wasn't invited.
Hasn't his business been doing fairly
Well in these last few weeks?
RONALD: Apparently not well enough.
It's ok though. I wouldn't want
That old fart around here anyways.
WENDY: Hehehehehe.
RONALD: You know I hate it when you
Laugh like that.
WENDY: I know. That's why I do it.
RONALD: I hate you.
WENDY: No you don't.
RONALD: Yes, I do.
WENDY: Then why are you here?
[Ronald remains silent]
That's what I thought.
RONALD: Whatever. I'm gonna go get something
For me to eat. Do you want anything?
WENDY: Nah, I'm good. But I'm watching you, Ronald.
No rizzing up anyone this time around, ok?
You literally just broke up with Softee.
Take a break.
RONALD: Yeah, yeah, ok.
WENDY: You're going to do it anyway,
Aren't you?
RONALD: Yes I am.
WENDY: You are unbelievable.
RONALD: Oh come on, you love me.
WENDY: No, I don't.
RONALD: Yes, you do.
WENDY: No, I really don't, you idiot.
RONALD: [mockingly] Then why am I here?
WENDY: Touché.
[Wendy exits]
RONALD: There's probably no one here to
Gaze upon ever so lovingly.
And even if there was, it might
Take hours, even days to-
[Enter Jack]
JACK: Oh, sorry, I interrupted your
Imaginary conversation.
RONALD: Hello handsome... How would you like
To hang out with me for a little while?
Spirit has a bunch of fruit punch on ice
And my friend is out dancing,
So we can talk as much as we want to, love.
JACK: Maybe later, I'm just trying to get
Some food...
RONALD: No worries.
[Ronald hands Jack a plate of snacks]
JACK: ... Thank you. That was oddly considerate.
RONALD: Anything for you, dear.
JACK: Well, aren't you just the rizz master?
RONALD: I guess you might say that.
JACK: So, what're you doing here tonight?
RONALD: Same as you. I got invited by Spirit
Because my sales have been doing so well
As of late.
JACK: Yeah, I really don't know why I asked.
I was just trying to hold up
A good conversation, I guess.
RONALD: It's ok. Conversation is good.
We need a good amount of dialogue
To stay strong.
[A slow song starts playing]
Hey, how about the two of us dance together?
Could be a fun time.
JACK: Yes, that sounds delightful.
[they join hands and dance]
RONALD: This is very romantic.
JACK: It is indeed.
RONALD: Would it be wrong if I were to say
I wanted to kiss you?
JACK: Would it be right to say
I wouldn't mind?
RONALD: No... definitely not...
[They kiss]
JACK: You're a great kisser, you know that?
RONALD: Mmm, and I would steal
A thousand more from you
Until your lungs ran out of breath.
[Enter Sonic]
SONIC: Jack! There you are.
I've been looking for you every....
Who is this?
RONALD: I'm Ronald, sir. Ronald McDonald.
SONIC: A McDonald?! Jack, you know
You cannot be hanging around his sort!
JACK: I care not who he is, or what
Sort he is. I only care about his heart,
His lips, and his touch.
RONALD: Awwww.
SONIC: You, sush! Jack, you know what will happen
When your mother hears of this!
JACK: Well she won't know if no one tells her!
Do me this one thing, Sonic.
SONIC: .... Alright then. But if she finds out herself,
I'm not helping you there.
JACK: You would never "help me there".
SONIC: I know. Be grateful I'm even helping you at all.
[Sonic exits]
JACK: I must go. Excuse me.
[Jack exits]
RONALD: I should.. Uh.. depart as well.
[Ronald exits]
(I read this part to my friend and she announced to the whole class that I had written "soft p0rn")
YOU ARE READING
Ronald McDonald x Jack in the Box
RomanceMay I now present to you the short story I wrote for the Romeo and Juliet unit of my ELA class.
