Quiet Love [Shoto Todoroki x OC]

Chapter 22

Aimi feels like throwing up.

The day hasn't even completely started yet and already her anxiety is messing with her mind.

Since the girls slept over at Mina's they'd go to school together. Which means, that Aimi can't simply flunk out and stay in bed.

"Hey Aimi-chan, are you okay? You're barely eating anything", Mina asks concerned. She's right, Aimi's been poking around at her pancakes, not actually eating them. She's not sure if she'd be able to keep them down.

"Oh, yeah. Just the nerves, you know", Aimi tries to answer nonchalantly, but fails miserably.

In the time they'd gotten to know each other, Mina's been getting good at reading Aimi's emotions off of her face. She made the discovery that, more often than not, what Aimi says and the look on her face don't often go hand-in-hand. Aimi's aware of it and curses her lack of being able to control her features exactly how she wants to.

"Don't try lying to me, Aizawa", Mina says seriously, shocking Aimi. Not one of her classmates has called her by her last name after learning of her father. Hearing it from Mina scares a little bit.

"What is it? And don't come at me with the 'I'm fine, just a little stressed'-bullshit. You've been fidgeting in your seat for twenty minutes, not even touching your pancakes, in your own little world. You do that a lot, I've noticed. So, tell me", the pink girl finishes off.

Aimi doesn't know what she should do. Should she tell the girl in front of her the truth? Or should she just come up with a different lie? Aimi doesn't want the other girls to hear what she has to say, yet she also doesn't want to lie to Mina anymore than she already did.

Noticing her trouble, Mina pulls Aimi off of her seat and away from the girls sitting at the table. She walks into her room and closes the door behind the both of them before looking at Aimi, her eyes boring into her blue ones.

"No one can hear you except for me. So, tell me what's going on with you", Mina inquires softly.

Aimi scratches at the skin of her hands while thinking about how she should explain her illness to the girl she considers her best friend.

"Well, I kind of have an anxiety disorder", Aimi admits quietly, scared about opening up to someone this close to her.

"What's that", Mina asks curiously, wanting to understand her friend.

"It's a mental health condition. It causes me to excessively worry about a lot of things and results in feelings of fear, dread and uneasiness. That's like, a definition you find on the internet. It affects my daily life."

"But I don't see you having, like, panic attacks or anything at school", she answers almost questioningly.

"It's not only stuff like that. It's the little things. I'm uncomfortable with holding up eye contact for a long time. I feel this immense pressure on my chest, like, almost all the time. The thought of speaking in front of a class with everyone's eyes on me alone makes the hairs on my neck stand up. I could cry when I'm put into a situation I'm not prepared for.

I can't even take the bus by myself in fear of taking the wrong one and ending up in a random place. Even if I checked seven times that it's the right one. I can barely do anything on my own, without someone I know by my side in fear of fucking everything up. I go over conversation over and over again, thinking of what I could've done differently, of what i could've said instead. And that's not even half of everything", Aimi finishes off.

She looks at Mina staring at her, but averts her eyes to the wall on her left, feeling uneasy under her stare.

"Sorry. That was a lot. I shouldn't have said anything. Sorry", the blonde apologizes, afraid of Mina judging her.

"No! Don't apologize. Everything's fine", Mina counters immediately, not wanting Aimi to interpret too much into her silence.

"Thanks for putting your trust in me and telling me about it. I'm sorry that you have to live with something as difficult as that. I guess that simply proves that you're way ahead of me", the pink haired girl says truthfully, feeling happy that the girl in front of her confided in her.

"What", Aimi asks confused. She has no idea how Mina could come to the conclusion that she's ahead of her. If anything, she's way behind.

"Well, ya have to be pretty fucking strong to not let a disorder like that define who you are and what you wanna be, you know? Since you've lived with that for a pretty long time, I'm guessing, you're already stronger than anyone of our class could ever be", Mina states while grinning brightly. Little does she know how much she just lit up Aimi's own little world.

"Is there anything I can do to help? Any, I don't know, habits I should know", Mina breaks the silence after a minute of Aimi staring at her in wonder.

"I guess...I don't like being touched without warning or my consent. Especially on my shoulders, forearms and legs. And when I knead my arms or fingers, I'm usually stressed and trying not to scratch myself, which I do when I'm really nervous. Often enough it just helps me when I'm in a quiet space for some time, so I can calm down", Aimi informs her, grateful for someone wanting to help her, to be there for her.

"And if you ever have a panic attack or something?"

"My dad knows what to do. I don't want anyone except for him to ever see my like that, okay", Aimi asks seriously at the end.

Mina's quite shocked at the serious tone with which Aimi addressed this. She's never seen her that serious about anything, which is why she simply nods.

"Yeah, okay", she answers before looking down at Aimi's hands. "And you can cut that out immediately too", she says before slapping Aimi's hands, causing her to groan.