🥀 Love Yourself | Jikook

🤝🏻 Radiating over me. I want to hold your hand 🤝🏻

"Lunch time, yess!" Hoseok-hyung says.

I smile. It has been a long morning, from worrying about Minnie to a satisfying recording session. We all get out of our seats to head for lunch, almost all of us.

I wait by the door for Jimin, he's still looking over his part. I wait for him to get up and I start to call his name when he notices me.

"I'll be there in a second. I just want to get this one part." He smiles, does it not look as bright as usual?

I want to believe him, I really do but . . .

Tae taps my shoulder, "Come on Jungkook-ah! They're serving udon in the cafeteria today, if we go we can get in line first."

I turn, if he needs to be alone then I'll let him. He said he won't be long and I am excited for udon, I'll get Jiminnie his favourite so we can share. "Bye Jiminnie!"

It's been 15 minutes and he still hasn't come down. I cover the food so it won't get cold, I don't feel like eating much anyway. Lunch is lonely without Minnie, anything is lonely without Minnie.

After 20 minutes nobody else is eating either, they're looking at me, expectantly.

Oh. "He said he'd be down soon."

"Hmm" says Namjoon, "Should we . . .?"

"Yeah." agrees Jin-hyung, replying to the almost silent communication.

We pack up our leftover food and get up then all at once like a six-way-telepathy, we start running. We pass TXT, who bow. We bow back as we run.

Whe Jin opens the door, music spills out. The track. Jimin is singing his part. Flawlessly, but not beautifully. Normally when I listen to him I feel my knees going weak, and I think that maybe I can sink into the music. Now it feels empty. I feel like the sound is hollowing me out inside. I watch Jimin's face as he sings, his expression is empty too, like his music, void of personality. He looks . . . vacant. He looks awful. I feel like I'm going to cry, seeing him like this. What happened to him? Was I too harsh this morning? He doesn't deserve to look like this, no one does.

I watch Jin walk over to the and practically slam the pause button. He looks as upset as I feel.

"Park Jimin! What are you doing?" Jimin looks up, he looks shocked and confused, he blinks and looks around Jin-hyung to Namjoon-hyung.

"I was practising hyung." He says, his voice sounds dry. How many times has he practised his part?

"Practising! Through lunch break!" Jin-hyung looks furious. I want to tell him to be easy on Minnie, but I'm angry too. He left me all alone for lunch. He said he'd only be a second, he lied to me, and he didn't eat.

"But you need to eat, you've been dancing since 5:00 AM and you probably didn't even have a proper breakfast. How disrespectful to yourself and to me not to have the food I make every morning. You won't be healthy if you don't eat, you'll die! Do you want to die?"

He looks down, I wish he'd look up so he could see the concern on my face. I hope my face is conveying the depth of it. "No, hyung I just was-"

Someone opens the door, the technician. Already? I check the time, he's right on time, we are early. "Alright, I hope you had a yummy lunch, it's time to do the test recording. We can try the beats Namjoon-ssi was talking about earlier.

Jimin looks confused again.

—

When we get home Jimin goes straight to bed.

I look at Jin-hyung.

"It's okay." he says, "He's tired, he can have a big breakfast tomorrow, I'll make sure of it."

"Thanks hyungie!"

"Of course."