"Hey kiddos, can you do me a favour?" Nada asked his provinces one lunchtime. "I've got an important package at the post office from UN that needs picking up-"
"So why don't you get it?" Quebec murmured snarkily, staring coldly at the Maple Man, who now had ketchup all over his face, due to his condiment-covered bacon sandwich leaking as he was trying to bite into it.
Still trying to swallow the final piece of bread, he answered, "Becath I havth a NATO meething."
"I'll get it, then!" Ontario grinned, "Anyone coming with me?"
"Eh, why not?" Alberta replied, shrugging, "It's not like I have anything better to do today."
Approximately half an hour later, Al and Ontario set off through the gate in the back garden, across the street and into the town nearby.
"So, where is this post office?" Alberta suddenly asked, realising she had no idea where they were going.
"Oh, I know exactly where it is!" Ontario smiled smugly turning around to face her, "You go 'round that corner, 'cross High Street, around to that path-"
"Maybe you should look where you're going, Ontario..."
"-down that alley, then walk for a bit- ARGH!" Ontario cried out, falling to the floor, clutching the back of his head in agony. "What the hell-?!"
"You walked into a lamppost," Alberta sighed, offering him her hand, "Come on, get up, stop being dramatic!"
Seemingly coming to his senses, the dazed province took Al's hand and, standing back up, smiled and replied, "Thank you, Miss... I suppose I ought to be on my way, then!" With that, he began walking the wrong way, towards a Tim Hortons.
"Wait! Ontario! Don't you remember me?!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, do I know you? I'm afraid I don't have great memory..."
***
"Now, continuing on with our conversation about strategical chocolate milk in warfare situations," NATO announced, "I would like to pitch a new protocol-"
"Have a holly jolly Christmas,
It's the best time of the year,
Now I don't know if there'll be snow,
But have a cup of cheer..."
"Who's phone?!" the organisation sighed.
"...Mine." Canada admitted.
"I expected better of you, Canada. Bublé, really?! And a Christmas song? It's July!"
"Sorry, sir... but can I answer it? It might be urgent if it's my work phone..."
"Fine, just go outside and do it."
[Time skip, brought to you by Alberta panicking and phoning every single NATO member, causing all the phones to play random, usually terrible songs simultaneously]
"Ontario, do you at least remember me, eh?" Nada asked hopefully, gazing concernedly at his province.
"No, sorry. Nice leaf, though."
"We need to get him to A&E," Alberta muttered. "Ontario, come with us, we're taking you to hospital!"
"Look, random lady... please just go! I'm going home, so please leave me alone now, ok? I'm perfectly fine!"
"Does he even know where home is?" Nada whispered to Al.
"No, he thinks he lives in that Timmies over there."
"Right...I'll call the others to try and get through to him; we should go, before he tries to call the police on us."
Before long, all of the remaining provinces and territories were gathered in the street, carefully plotting their individual ploys to regain Ontario's trust. They each entered the Timmies in turn, using a different persuasive strategy each time, with little variation in results: Ontario, who was trying to take a nap on top of the till, was having none of it.
"Woah... he really remembers nothing..." Manitoba sighed.
"Come on! There must be someone he remembers!" BC whined, sitting down hopelessly on the pavement, kicking a pebble across the road as she did.
Out of nowhere, Newf & Lab grinned at his fellow Canadians, "And I know just the person to call."
***
"Ontario... please get off the desk..." a woman in her early twenties asked awkwardly, twizzling her knee-length turquoise hair between her fingers, hoping against hope that Ontario would remember her. For a moment, Ontario just stared into her sapphire-like eyes, piecing together the sketches of memories that floated across his mind as he saw her for the first time in years. He did remember her... He unmistakeably knew who she was...
"Ottawa...?"
"You remember me then, eh?" Ottawa beamed, running her fingers through her little brother's hair adoringly. "Been a while, hasn't it?"
"I missed you, Otta" the exhausted province suddenly sat up, hugging his sister harder than he'd ever hugged anyone in his entire life. "What's happening? Who are they?" he asked, remembering what was happening and pointing outside at the others.
"Those are the other provinces from our country, Canada. You won't remember them yet, or him, but they've been worried about you."
"Oh..."
"Come on, let's get you to a doctor. And don't worry, your memory will be back soon, Lake Man."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
YOU ARE READING
Canadian Provinces: Tales Of Mischief & Mayhem
FanfictionCanada's life may seem serene and peaceful from the outside, but is that really so? Meet his family: thirteen chaotic provinces and territories, who are hell-bent on making mischief until midnight and competing with each other for no apparent reason...
