♥ I Never Thought I'd Love You ♥

~Chapter 21: Why Me

~Chapter 21: Why Me

            I stopped. I didn’t want to say the last few words. “Because what?” Niall asked.

            I sighed, burying my face in his chest. “Because I care about you too much.”

            Niall didn’t reply for a moment. Then he replied, “If you feel that way about someone, then you definitely have true feelings for that person.”

            “You really think so?” I smiled at him as he nodded. I looked at the time. It was 10 PM. “I think you should sleep now.”

            Niall took my hand in his and we looked in each other’s eyes. “Goodnight, Cordelia.” He stood up and walked to the door, but turned to look at me. “I’ll be in my room if you need me. It’s just across your door.” I nodded and he left.

            I climbed into bed after taking a shower and brushing my teeth. The covers felt cold and I felt loneliness slip into me again. I slowly drifted off into sleep, but I dreamt of my mother.

~Dream~

            “Mum!” I called.

            Mum turned around and smiled at me. “Hi, darling.”

            I ran into her arms and hugged her, crying. “Mum, you’re alive.”

            “I’ve always been alive, my dear.” I felt my mum smooth my hair. “Always.”

            I looked up at her. “No, Mum. You were shot, remember?”

            My mum smiled at me. “Oh, Cordelia. My girl. My Cordelia. I’ll always be in your heart. You’ve got to remember that. Everything happens for a reason. There are no accidents.”

            “But why me? Out of everyone, why me?” I asked, tears falling from my eyes.

            “I don’t know, dear. You have to find out for yourself. It’s time to let go of the past. You need to do so in order to move on.”

            I tightened my arms around my mother. “Mum, I can’t. If I let go, then all my memories with you will disappear.”

            “All those memories will slowly kill you, Cordelia. I don’t want you to suffer anymore. You keep burdening yourself. And for what reason? I can’t come back anymore.” My mum pulled away. “I’ll always be alive in your heart, Cordelia.” She smiled and wiped my tears away. “When you look at yourself in the mirror, if you look hard enough, you will probably be able to see me in your reflection.”

            “Mum, how do I do that? How can I move on without you here?” I asked, clutching onto her.

            “You have to close your eyes and open your heart, for the most beautiful things are not seen by the eyes, but felt by the heart.”

~End of Dream~

            I felt a tear work its way down my cheek. I snapped awake, crying. “Mum…,” I cried. “Why did you have to leave…?” I tried to stop crying and go back to sleep, but I shivered under the covers. Alone. I couldn’t fall asleep. I got up, feeling goose bumps on my skin, and walked to the door in my tanktop and shorts. I opened the door to the dark hallway, a gust of cold wind hitting my body. A chill went down my back as I made my way to Niall’s room.

            I opened the door, trying to be silent. “Niall?” I called silently. “You awake?” I looked at the clock. It was 1 AM, and there was still noise downstairs. I looked around the pitch-black room, trying to see if I could spot Niall’s bed. The curtains to his room’s balcony were closed, so I couldn’t even rely on the moonlight to see.

            I closed the door behind me, feeling slightly creeped out. My heart was racing as I felt my way to what felt like Niall’s bed. I slipped my hand into the covers, trying to feel for him, hoping I wouldn’t accidentally touch him in an awkward place. But I didn’t feel anything. My stomach tied itself into a knot as I slowly realised that Niall wasn’t in his bed.