♥ I Never Thought I'd Love You ♥

~Chapter 28: Embrace the Loss (MUST READ)

~Chapter 28: Embrace the Loss

            “You were in mine the moment we met,” Niall replied.

            I smiled, not knowing what to reply. I looked to the horizon and my eyes widened. “The sunset’s even more beautiful viewed from the sea,” I breathed out.

            “It’s the most beautiful when viewed with a loved one,” Niall whispered back. He put his arm around me and I put my head on his shoulder.

            For a moment, everything was perfect. The view, the surroundings, the feelings, the person with me… Everything was beautiful. For a moment, I forgot about all the pain and suffering and dark memories that had been burdening me for years. Everything went away. I exhaled. “It’s perfect.”

            “Just like you, Cordelia.” We were silent for a moment. “Can I sing you another song?”

            I laughed. “You don’t even need to ask, Niall.”

            “Am I asleep, am I awake, or somewhere in between? I can’t believe that you are here and lying next to me. Or did I dream that we were perfectly entwined, like branches on a tree or twigs caught on a vine?” I shifted my fingers in Niall’s. “Like all those days and weeks and months I tried to steal a kiss, and all those sleepless nights and daydreams where I picture this, I’m just the underdog who finally got the girl. And I am not ashamed to tell it to the world.” Niall held my waist and pressed his nose to mine, singing, “Truly, madly, deeply, I am foolishly, completely falling. And somehow you kicked all my walls in, so, baby, say you’ll always keep me truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you...”

            “In love… with you,” I echoed.

            “Your voice is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard,” Niall complimented me.

            “YOUR voice is the most beautiful I’VE ever heard,” I replied back. He smiled. I turned away to look at the sunset again. “There’s just…,” I started. “There’s just so many questions I’ve always wanted to ask… about my mother… about life… about why she had to die…” The words flowed out of my mouth mindlessly and endlessly as I started to cry. “Why did she have to die?” I sobbed. “Why, Niall? Out of everyone in the world, why her?” Niall hugged my head to his chest, his hand on my head.

            “Sometimes… bad things happen and we don’t know why. People make bad choices when they’re scared… And sometimes other people have to bear the burden for it. Everything happens for a reason, and the point is not what the reason is… but the fact that there is a reason. Just because there are bad people in the world, doesn’t mean there aren’t good people. When people are hurt, they want to hurt those people back. But that only makes you that same as them…” I pulled away and looked at Niall, waiting for him to go on. “And when you choose to burden yourself with those memories, you’re only punishing yourself for what someone else did…” Niall took my arm and traced my cuts softly will his fingertip. “They don’t feel your suffering, do they? You hurt yourself for someone else’s wrong… But I think… you should embrace the loss.”

            “What?” I asked, unsure. “Embrace the loss?”

            “At one point, everyone will have to bear the burden of losing a loved one. It’s something everyone will have to experience. But you can choose to embrace it or to let it control you.”

            “How can you embrace something that pains you?”

            “Think of it as a blessing.” Niall leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “What has happened has already happened. I think… letting go of the past would make your mother happy.” I pursed my lips, contemplating what I’d just been told. “If I was dead, I’d love someone to remember the happy times they had with me. Not burden themselves with my death. Wouldn’t you?” I cried but nodded. “It’s okay to cry. But after you’ve finished crying, you’ve got to stand up and tell yourself never to cry for the same reason ever again.”