𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙨 || 𝙟𝙤𝙖𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙭

𝗻 𝗶 𝗻 𝗲 𝘁 𝗲 𝗲 𝗻

LONDON
"i never craved attention until i tasted your"

~lyla~

i have been laying in a hospital bed for three days straight and i never thought i could be this tired. all my energy has been drained from doing nothing all day and i don't know how that's possible.

all my friends have been keeping me company and i'm grateful for that, but i need to get out of this room.

i need to get out of this hospital and see the real world again. i know i have only been here for three days but i feel like it's been forever. being transferred here right after being stuck in my house for a week isn't helping me mentally.

i haven't talked to nate or joão and for now i'd like to keep it that way. micah has been asking me millions of questions but i can't tell him about what happened because i know that would ruin their friendship and i don't want to do that to him.

joão is a big part of his life and he cares for him more than anything, but i know if i tell him about what he said, he would choose my side over his anyday. and i don't want to rip that friendship apart because of a stupid kiss that didn't even mean anything to him.

harper and meredith have been updating me on joão because even though i tell everybody i don't care, i do.

nate hasn't been let back into the hospital and from the way meredith and harper phrased it, nate beat up joão really bad. harper told me that nate might have to go to jail, and i've been trying to keep that thought out of my mind because he was just trying to protect me.

so in the many hours i've spent in this room, i've been thinking. thinking about all the possibilities of life.

i have discovered that traveling is something i want to do and since i can't play hockey right now anyways, this would be the perfect time to see the world.

micah walks in with tired eyes and sits down in the chair besides me. i told him i wanted to talk to him about something and i'm just hoping he will support my decision.

"hey." he breaths almost passing out on the soft cushion. he's been up for almost three days straight, making sure me and joão are okay. he's honestly the best brother i could ever ask for.

"hey." i smile and i notice the way the edges of his lips barely even lift. he seriously needs to get some rest. "so i've been thinking."

"oh god." he puts his head in his hands before i even finish.

"i want to travel somewhere."

his eyes snap back to mine and he stares at me with uncertainty. "what do you mean. like out of the country or what?"

"i just think i need to get away for a little. maybe like london or-"

"he waves his hands in front of my face. "no, no, no, what? where is this coming from? you can't move out of the country."

my smile vanishes. i thought he would be happy for me. "i wouldn't be moving, just going to visit for a while."

"no lyla you can't." he tells me, more commanding instead of convincing.

"you don't get to make that decision. i can go wherever i want to."