The Bastard of the Barrel {Kaz Brekker X Reader}

VI

Hello loves, I am so SO so very sorry for not posting in so long. I've had a whirlwind of a week, emotionally, academically, spiritually, and physically. Let's blame it on the mercury retrograde. But now I'm back and focused and here to apologize for the break with a nice, long, hopefully satisfying, chapter. thank you for all your love and supportttt <3333

I want justice
For my loved ones
I want to give him peace
For my loved ones
Vengeance revenge
The war is in my head
The only thought in my head
Unleash vengeance
I will have revenge
-Akuma Xrex-

-Y/N-

Kaz had told me to come to his makeshift office that he had set up in Wylan's Warehouse before our plan was executed. I didn't know why he asked, but I knocked on the door nonetheless.

I didn't hear an answer, so I just twisted the knob and opened it slowly, hoping he was decent.

When I peered inside, I saw him sitting at his desk. His gloves were placed on the table, and his hands were clasped, bare and open, together in his lap. He was looking away, and he didn't notice me peering through the doorway.

"Kaz?" I said in a low voice, stepping in the room. 

I walked forward slowly, hoping to draw attention to myself. But he kept staring at the ground in front of him. I went to him and crouched down in front, bringing my eyes to his eye level. "Kaz!" I said a bit louder.

That's when he finally looked at me.

"Y/N..." He mumbled.

"Wylan's brought the compound. Jesper's helping load it in." I gave him the report of why I thought he asked me to come.

"In a few hours, when the chips fall..." He gulped. "It'll give me some comfort to know that you're with me."

"I wouldn't miss it." I whispered. "I've been hoping for Pekka's downfall for as long as I can remember."

"If the plan goes awry, promise me one thing." He turned his attention to me completely. "Get out of the city as fast as you can, go with Inej and find your family, and never look back. Maybe you can get that pirate-"

"Kaz I can only promise you that Pekka will beg for his death." I stopped him.

"Y/N I'd rather know that you're safe and far away than hurting in front of my eyes. I-" Kaz was rambling and I looked down at his hands that were shaking slightly. "-I'm not going to be the reason that your life gets ruined because-"

To once again stop him, I reached over and hovered over his bare hands.

It made him stop talking and look down.

"May I?" I asked softly.

-Kaz Brekker-

I looked down at her hand, inches away from mine. I could feel the touch. I could feel the warmth. I looked up back at her and I could feel the sweat already forming on my forehead.

"It's okay if you don't-" She started but I quickly interrupted.

"Please..." I whispered, nodding a little.

She took that as her sign to very slowly lower her hand onto mine. They were warm 

and unbelievably soft.

My hands were cold. 

My mind was spinning at the sensation. 

Skin on skin. I was in a riot of confusion. Terror and disgust, all together causing a whirlwind of chaos under my skin creating a feeling it took me a moment to place - desire.