The Bastard of the Barrel {Kaz Brekker X Reader}

VII

You push me away
You've got me wrapped around your little finger
You're such a beautiful lie
-Dead Defined-

-Y/N-

The walk back to Wylan's Warehouse was nothing like I had ever experienced before.

All around us chaos reigned. The shrieks of the sirens and the screams of people raged around us. In contrast, there was no turmoil in me. My heart was light. My steps were feathery. I felt like I was floating on bliss.

Some of the fog that had previously hid my past had evaporated away and I felt more empty... in a good way.

This entire event had taken years in the planning. So much blood, sweat, and tears had been spilled to see Pekka Rollins get on his knees.

And it had been worth all of it.

"So do we need to start calling you Sanya now?" Jesper asked.

Inej looked over at me expectantly.

I paused a little.

"No." I finally said.

"But it's your birth name. It's the name you were born with." Inej said.

"But it's not who I've become." I said. "Sanya died when Pekka got rid of her. Y/N was born from those ashes." I explained.

It didn't feel right to be called Sanya. Though the name brought me somewhat comfort, a nice memory from the past, it didn't seem to fit anymore.

I felt like I had been reborn into my life with the crows. I felt like a new person.

So Y/N fit me better.

It was who I am, not who I once was.

"I feel like royalty." Jesper strutted past a few people running past us. "The Barrel is ours now. We're kings."

"No." Kaz said. "It's that type of thinking that sealed Pekka's fate. We're not Kings, we're crows." Kaz said. Though his words were serious, there was a tug of a smile on his face.

I knew he felt just as relieved as all of us that all of this was finally over.

But there was a tug in my stomach, jabbing me with a small question.

What next?

Up until now Pekka's downfall had been our only goal. Our only purpose in life. And now that was done... what would we do?

I pushed the question aside right now.

The past was history, and the future is a mystery, I had to stay in the present for now.

When we finally arrived at Wylan's warehouse, everyone was dispersed, off to celebrate in however way they chose.

Jesper and Wylan, smiling a little mischievously at each other, went upstairs. I myself was about to follow Inej and Nina when Kaz thumped his cane on the ground.

"Y/N, a word?" He asked, tilting his head to his office.

I sighed.

"I'll catch up with you later." I told Nina and Inej. 

I dreaded this conversation even though I didn't even know what Kaz wanted to talk about.

But even then, I felt myself being pulled to him as he started walking.

Every conversation with him was filled with a lot of hushed words, empty promises, whispers of comfort, flickering eye contact, and shortness of breath.