Reylo: These Violent Delights

Chapter 65: Me Too

Rey's happy place was much more beautiful in real life than in her dreams.

Besides the soft whispers of the wind and the birds chirping their songs, it was quiet by the emerald green lake at Vader's Temple. The tall grass tickled her bare arms and legs as she tugged down the white and yellow sundress that Kylo imported from Naboo. Bursts of color swayed all around her from the blooming wildflowers, filling the air with a subtle sweetness akin to lavender and honey. In her peripherals, she could see the decrepit pyramidal temple atop the hillside, sitting at the base of Coruscant's colossal mountain range with the Night Buzzard docked next to it.

And with the crystal pendant beside her, Rey couldn't only see the pyramid, she could feel it.

Which meant it worked. Just being near the vergence beneath the structure recharged the crystal and brought it back to life. When she first stepped off the shuttle, she felt a sense of relief, and she thought Kylo would, too. All she had to do was put the necklace on, and there would be the awakening. She would get her powers back, just like he wanted. But instead, it had been two hours since they walked down the hill and took a seat by the lake, and there had been little to no conversation. She had been enjoying the scenery and beauty the Steadfast couldn't offer, but Kylo? He was distracted and sullen.

Rey chanced another glance at him. He was looking out at the lake, his black attire a jarring contrast to the vividity of the meadow. Still ruminating. Still brooding. With a small sigh, she nudged him with her elbow and tried to make small talk again.

"Did this area always look this pretty when we were kids?"

"Yes." His lip twitched down, idle fingers tugging at the grass below him. "Such a peaceful place for such atrocities."

She kept her eyes on him but stayed quiet. She knew he was talking about how Luke stole the Force from her here when she was just a little girl. The Jedi had erased the memory from her—apparently, it had caused her a great deal of pain—but the Supreme Leader knew what happened. He said he saw it in a vision while reaching out to his grandfather and was mortified at what she endured. Rey knew that was partly why he was so quiet now, but his mood had been all over the place since her birthday party last night.

Upon discovering that Vicrul had reconstructed her pendant, he became crazed, passionately insistent. But over the course of the night, while they sat in bed to review the translation of the Book of Sith, Kylo's excitement waned into somber desperation.

"What is it?" she had asked, as he stopped reading the file to pace in her quarters. But she doubted he even realized she had spoken. "Kylo? What's going on?"

He replied without stopping. "All of this is my fault. I need to return what I took from you. I need to. If the vergence on Coruscant doesn't work, I will return to Exegol if I have to. I will do whatever it takes, Rey."

Rey did everything she could to talk him down, to tell him that none of this was his fault. It could be seen as Palpatine's fault for even devising such powerful artifacts in the first place, or her mother's for putting the pendant on, or the kriffing universe for deciding that they were destined to be a dyad in the Force. Either way, Skywalker was the only culprit responsible for stealing her powers. Not Kylo. But he wouldn't listen, not even when she assured him that she understood why he didn't trust his uncle on Batuu when he had tried to pass off the pendant. And she told him that she refused to take it when Leia tried to give it to her on Crait. Alas, nothing could coax him back to bed, and she wasn't sure he even slept last night.

Rey fell asleep without him next to her and woke up to find him sitting in the kitchen, his hands wrapped around a cup of black coffee. Unmoving and unblinking, he was so deep in thought, he didn't notice she was there.

"Kylo, are you okay?" she had asked as she approached him at the table. "Why are you up so early?"

When he looked at her, the first thing she noticed were the dark bags under his eyes. Then she recognized the muted desperation within his eyes. "When you are ready, we will all go together."

That was a surprising, yet deserved, development that came from all this madness—Kylo had reinvested his trust in Vicrul again. She thought the knight would never be able to join on an assignment involving her ever again, but the Supreme Leader meant what he said. This morning when he led her to the hangar, all six of his knights were waiting at the ramp of the Night Buzzard. Kylo and Vicrul even sat in the cockpit together, as if the deed of repairing her pendant had erased his resentments toward him. And when Vicrul wished Rey good luck when she parted, Kylo didn't look twice when she responded with a smile. But now, she was realizing he wasn't looking twice at anything. He was much too wrapped up in his own head.

"Kylo," she murmured, taking his hand. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

He remained facing forward, his unblinking gaze locked on the lake. "I'm afraid."

Rey bit back her surprise. He had never been so bluntly vulnerable before. "Of what?"

"Failure."

"Why would we fail? The Resistance is eradicated...Hux is my prisoner...Skywalker is dead...the diseased kyber is rotting away on Exegol..." she trailed off, scooting closer as she tried to get him to look at her. He wouldn't. "There are no more threats. All I need to do now is put the pendant on, and like you said, we will have it all."

"I know." The corner of his mouth sloped down as the gentle breeze tousled his hair. "That's the problem."

She cocked her head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"Having everything means I have everything to lose," he said, finally glancing at her. But he looked away just as fast, his frown deepening. "Nothing is for certain, Rey."

She was quiet as she studied his side profile. He kept his glossed-over gaze straight ahead, and the sadness pouring out of him was palpable. It was so strong, she could feel the liveliness of the field dim around her. Birds quieted, insects stopped buzzing, the temperature seemed to drop, and for the first time all day, chills flooded her arms. Then came the understanding. He wasn't insecure about his title or power being threatened. He was worried about losing her.

Rey reached over to firmly grab his hand. "We are, Kylo. We're for certain."

When he looked at her, broken and raw, the pain etched in his face made her feel pain. "So you're staying," he said quietly, his voice cracking. "With the Order, with me."

The idea of not being together after everything they had been through was such an absurd thought, she wanted to laugh. But even the Supreme Leader of the galaxy needed reassurance sometimes. "You know I am," she whispered, bringing a hand up to touch his scar. "We talked about this already. You—"

"I need you to say it again." He paused to swallow, covering her hand with his, and closed his eyes. "Please."

Keeping her palm against his face, Rey turned toward him as much as she could, speaking with clear conviction. "I am staying with you. I am yours, and you are mine. You are my Supreme Leader, and I...I am your Empress," she said, heart thudding against her sternum as her mouth twisted around those words. His eyes shot open, regarding her with amazed yet trepidatious anticipation. He dropped her hand and turned to face her entirely, and she sat up straight, reaffirming what she said not only for him, but herself, too.

"I'm ready, Kylo." She nodded once. "I'm ready for the coronation."

He looked so still, she wasn't sure he was breathing. "You'll be my Empress."

"Yes."

"Now?"

Thump, thump, thump. "Yes, now."

"You said you wanted to wait a while."

"I did."

"That was less than a week ago."

Rey cocked a brow at him. "Are you questioning your Empress, Supreme Leader?"

Kylo's lips parted in an astonished burst of breath, the lines by the sides of his eyes creasing as a smile touched his face. She returned the sentiment, and he released a sound she had seldom heard from his mouth. A laugh. Deep yet radiating with happiness, with peace. She fell into him, wrapping her arms around his neck as his hands looped around her waist.

Rey closed her eyes and breathed him in, and she could feel him more now than ever, the innate connection between them nearly vibrating as the pendant sat beside her. When she first arrived here, she told herself she'd wait until it felt right to put it on. But as she held onto her other half, she realized that moment was right now.

She didn't say anything when she pulled away from him, but Kylo knew. Of course he knew. "You're ready," he said, his eyes moving rapidly across her face. "You're ready to put it on."

Nerves swimming in her gut, all Rey could do was nod. She reached for her bag and pulled it closer, slipping her hand inside to grab the pendant by the chain. It was a light little thing, but it felt like it weighed a thousand pounds as she held it up before her, the vibrant sunlight catching on the golden facets of the crystal. She felt mesmerized as she watched it twist in the air, and for the first time since she was reunited with it, she no longer felt paralyzed from fear in its presence. She felt powerful. With steady, confident hands, she gripped either side of the necklace and looped it around her neck.

The moment it touched her skin, Rey felt the shift.

Her eyes closed as the soft breeze picked up in the meadow, blowing her hair back as a dreamy smile touched her lips. Chills erupted on her flesh when a warmth expanded inside her. It started small but swelled without resistance, filling her from head to toe with a pulsing, vivacious energy. Her smile deepened. It wasn't at all like the wickedness she felt on Exegol. No, no, no, this was incredible. It was peaceful and beautiful and ethereal, and above all, it flowed within her. But it didn't belong to her; she saw that now. She was only a vessel for the Force, blessed with the gift of feeling everything all at once.

She was sitting by the lake in a field of grass, but Rey could hear birds ruffling their feathers in the tall trees looming above her. She could hear the worms burrowing in the soil below her. The air weaving through the blades of grass swaying in the wind. The roots of the tree sucking down the moisture from the recent rains. Insects sipping on the nectar of the flowers. But not just life—she felt death, too. She could sense the carcasses decaying at the bottom of the lake and the nearby predator sinking its teeth into its prey. The withering foliage as it neared the end of its life cycle. Even in such a vibrant place of beauty, death was all around them. And yet, it still didn't frighten her. It felt familiar. It felt like home.

With tears falling down her face, Rey reached out and grabbed Kylo's hand. He held onto her tightly, and electricity flowed from his fingertips into her skin. She sucked in a deep breath as his energy collided with hers, filled with an understanding so profound, she thought she might break into pieces at how deeply she could feel. She never thought she'd love someone the way she loved Kylo, and she especially never thought it would be reciprocated. But love was all she felt as she held his hand, her tears turning into a small sob as the rest of her awakening crashed over her like a tidal wave. It came hard and fast, plunging her deeper into her strength and allowing her to tap into the other Force signatures near her.

From all the way atop the hill inside the Night Buzzard, Rey could hear the thoughts of each individual knight as though she was tuning into a holoradio. But it wasn't chaotic or jumbled. She could tap into their frequency with ease to sense and hear them distinctly. She knew that Ap'lek was reading the Book of Sith, seeking the solitude of his chambers, while Cardo and Kuruk played a game of dejarik in the common area. She could hear them bickering through their bond as Trudgen cackled on the sidelines, taking bets on who would win. She knew that Ushar was currently eating but was alsoplanning what he wanted to eat for his next meal, and the next, and the next, while Vicrul...well, Vicrul was tuned into her.

Rey pulled in a deep breath and reached out to him. "Fancy seeing you here, Vic."

Even through their bond, she could hear his pleasant voice crystal clear in her head. "Trust me, it gets old. Master Ren will teach you to tune us out. He is an excellent teacher."

"It's not so bad," she said, just as the connection was flooded with Ushar singing a tune. Not just one tune, no. That wouldn't be stressful enough. Instead, it was as though he decided that right now, at this very moment, he had to recall every song he had ever heard, or he would simply perish. When she winced, she could feel Vicrul's amusement through the Force.

"You were saying, Miss Ren?"

Rey laughed out loud, and when she opened her eyes, Kylo was watching her with a face full of fascination. And admiration...and reverence...and adoration. The look alone allowed her to pour all of her focus into him, canceling out the noise from the Night Buzzard. She couldn't contain her grin, throwing her arms around him to pull him in close. He held her fiercely, the link between them brimming with an unstoppable vitality.

"I can't believe this," she breathed, her cheek digging into his shoulder as she was overcome with emotion. "I can't believe this."

After moments passed of him stroking Rey's hair, Kylo pulled away, collecting her hands in his. "Vicrul was right. I will teach you everything you need to know, Kitten." His eyes softly traveled the length of her face before tucking a hair behind her ear. "Everything."

"I know," she said, voice breaking. She cleared her throat. "I know you will. Having you by my side through all of this...it's the only reason why I'm not afraid."

With an expression brimming with affection, the Supreme Leader considered her for a long time. Neither of them spoke, but the absence of words did not equate to silence. Their connection bustled with activity, as did the meadow around them, bursting with the same effervescence thundering between them. It was such a surreal sensation; she could sit here and simply sense him all day.

But Kylo had something pressing to show her. Rey felt it. Just as she had waited to put on the pendant until the timing felt right, he had been waiting for his opportune moment, too. Detaching his hands from hers, he looked down and reached under his tunic, pulling something off his belt. It was a lightsaber.

She eyed it as he wordlessly extended it to her. It had a simple metal hilt with black grip ribbing, somewhat similar to Leia's that she used on Exegol, yet very different from Kylo's crossguard weapon. She reached for it, and the moment she wrapped her fingers around it, she knew whose it was.

"Oh my gods," Rey uttered in absolute amazement. She didn't think she'd ever get used to the wealth of innate knowledge she now had access to, nor would she get over how she was holding the weapon of a legend. "This is Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber."

"And now, it's yours."

Her eyes flashed to Kylo, her mouth open in incredulity. "What?"

"Yes." He nodded toward it. "You will learn with this. And once you've completed your training, you will create your own."

Rey blinked, then locked her stupefied gaze on the saber. She was a cocktail of emotions. Stunned...honored...excited...but as she turned the hilt in her hands, something else began rising to the surface. Unlike the feel of Leia's lightsaber, there was a certain...heaviness to this one. Not physically—it felt even lighter than hers, actually. But Anakin's weapon had a weighted energy attached to it, and as though she received an upload in the Force, terrible, sickening visions flashed in her mind. Screaming. Crying. Suffering. And worst of all, the terrified faces of teeny, tiny Padawans looking to Anakin for help during the attack on the Jedi Temple.

"Master Skywalker. There are too many of them. What are we going to do?"

Rey could see Anakin as though she was there in front of him, watching him lower his chin to glower at the child. She shriveled back at the wickedness in his glossed-over, empty eyes, and as he ignited his lightsaber, the lightsaber she now held, she dropped it like it was on fire. Chest rattling with shallow breaths, she looked at Kylo with wide, fearful eyes.

"What was that? Was that real?"

The Supreme Leader's tone was as grim as his expression. "Yes. That was real."

"I don't understand," Rey whispered, shaking her head frantically. "Why, why did you show me that?"

"I didn't show you. The Force did."

"But why?"

"It's the reality of your strength, Rey," he said, calm despite the anxiety flooding their shared bond. "Of our strength. I have Vader's blood in me. You have Palpatine's. We will always feel the darkness. More so than any other Force-user. But that doesn't mean it needs to control us. Facing it is the only way to control it."

Rey blinked rapidly, willing away the tears that threatened to fall as the bright prospect of her future soured in her mouth. "I...I don't want this," she croaked, gesturing to Anakin's lightsaber. "What if that happens to me? What if Luke was right, and I turn evil? What if I hurt people instead of help them?"

The Supreme Leader gave a resolute shake of his head. "I won't let that happen."

Her heart rate picked up, her head spinning with unease. "But how do you know? How can you know for sure? You said yourself, nothing is for certain and—"

"Rey," Kylo gently interrupted, successfully intercepting her panic attack. "Look at me, please. And take a deep breath." When their eyes locked, she tried her best to pull in a deep, steady inhale. He took a few breaths with her before continuing. "Anakin was seduced to the dark side by Palpatine. By a Sith Lord. The Jedi did nothing to stop it, just as Luke did nothing to stop my Master from diseasing my mind. Ever since I killed Snoke, the last Sith in existence, I swore I would never let the darkness destroy me again. It hasn't. Because I am not a Sith, and I am not a Jedi. Neither are you. Do you understand what this means?"

Rey waited before responding, hopeful the Force would give her another upload to understand. But all she felt was a surge of uncontrollable emotion. She let out an agitated exhale, shaking her head as the panic began to boil over again. "No. I don't. I, I don't know anything, Kylo, I—"

"Yes, you do," Kylo continued, utterly composed despite her uptick in hysteria. "You're letting your emotions guide you. You need to let the Force guide you. Close your eyes, babygirl, and tune into the power between us. Tell me, what do you feel?"

Despite her lips pulling down into a frown, Rey did as she was instructed. Her eyes darted beneath her eyelids as she tried to recenter herself, focusing on how the energy felt within her. "I...I sense the light, but it doesn't feel the same as what I sensed in Luke. And I feel the darkness...but it's not like the vision of Anakin, or the power from Exegol..." she trailed off, her brows pulling together as she concentrated. "It's just pure, unlimited, and undivided power. It's...it's—"

"Equilibrium," they both said together, and when Rey opened her eyes, she no longer felt afraid. She felt whole again, as she felt Kylo's pride through the dyad. She spoke with a soft smile. "A new generation of Force-users."

"We could be, yes." He nodded, then paused for a moment. "If we decide to further our bloodline."

"Why wouldn't we?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. "That's what you wanted, isn't it? You told me that a long time ago when we were in my dreamscape, when I asked what your personal goals were. Right?"

"I did," he said slowly, watching her with dark, guarded eyes. "But that was before us. And what I want might not align with what you want."

Rey held his gaze for a long moment, thoughtfully digesting this rare side of him. She couldn't tell if he was just allowing himself to be vulnerable with her, or if he simply could no longer hide it through their bond. Either way, she cherished the privilege of seeing it. Of seeing him.

With a slight smile tugging on her lips, she finally broke eye contact to look down at her stomach. She placed her hands over her belly button, threading her fingers together as she closed her eyes. When she took a deep breath and her abdomen swelled, Rey saw glimpses of her future with Kylo.

Him training her in the ways of the Force...a red crystal crown being placed atop her head...an embrace overlooking the lake on Naboo...slow mornings as they peered into the vastness of space...very not slow mornings as they governed on the Supreme Council, and eventually, cradling twin newborns in her arms as Kylo kept a protective arm around them, leaning down to place his lips against her sweaty forehead.

Chills engulfed Rey when she exhaled, and when it hit her that all the incredible things she just saw were hers and not a vision of somebody else's life, the curl of her lips graduated to a giggle. She truly would have it all. She deserved it all. She opened her eyes to see the Supreme Leader watching her with a hungry intensity. It quickly waned her giddiness into desire, setting her soul ablaze with need.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, and when she found her voice again, it was hoarse with emotion. "I want it, too. I want it all."

There was a feral flash of devotion in his eyes. "You want to carry my children."

Rey nodded, feeling light-headed. "Yes."

For a brief moment, she was positive time had stopped. The sounds of nature faded away as they shared a charged stare, and all that existed was them. Their connection rippled with so much fervor, she thought he might pull her on top of him and start the process of expanding their bloodline right here and now. But after a few long moments, he urgently lengthened his spine and dug for something in his pocket. Her eyes traveled to his hand as he opened it and dumped the contents of it onto his palm. She recognized it immediately.

"Your mother's ring," Rey breathed, taking in the two blue crystals intertwined with an intricate gold band. When she was with the Resistance, she had seen Leia idly play with it, trying to hide the pain in her voice as her son inevitably came up in conversation. "It's beautiful."

"It is, isn't it?" Kylo murmured as he peered down at it, rolling it between his fingers. "It was designed for royalty..." he started, reaching for Rey's left hand, "and now, my wife."

When he slipped it on the finger closest to her pinky, her ring finger, she froze. "Kylo, is this, are you..." She couldn't seem to make the words come out. With wide eyes, all she could do was stare at him and wait for him to continue.

He gave her a conclusive nod. "Yes, I am. The dyad...the coronation...it's not enough. I need everyone to know that you're mine, but not only because you're ruling with me. Not because we are one in the Force. Not because you will have my children. But because I choose you, Rey. Across space and time, I will always choose you."

And then came the tears. Hot and fast, they rolled down her cheeks as she tilted her face down, splaying her hand out to admire the ring. "You're...proposing."

"I am." Still stunned, Rey didn't say anything, just sat there trying to process the amount of life-changing events that had happened in the last hour. In her silence, she felt Kylo grow restless, the words pouring out of him faster than the quicksands on Dagobah. "We can get another ring. A nicer one with diamonds, or whatever you want. And you don't have to say yes right now. Not today, or tomorrow. We can wait. I can—"

"Say it, Kylo," she whispered, flashing her eyes to his face. "Please, say it."

He hesitated, swallowing as he pressed his lips together. "Marry me, Rey."

Rey went to him. Grabbing his face, she collided her lips with his, and Kylo responded with a fiery passion, leaning forward to snatch her off the ground to yank her on top of him. Her legs settled around his waist, straddling him as he leaned back onto the grass and took her with him. The kiss deepened for a moment as her chest crashed into his, then he broke away to look up at her with edgy anticipation.

"Well?"

"Yes," she choked out, "yes."

"Yes?" Kylo repeated, his brows raising in surprise as his lip twitched up. She frantically bobbed her head up and down, and the smile he was suppressing broke out across his face. A real, authentic smile, the kind that brought out the creases around his eyes, and showed the deep grooves of his dimples. Her heart soared as his hands slid up and down her back. "Then it's settled, Mrs. Ren."

Rey's mouth parted, the unironic use of Mrs. Ren hitting her hard, and she struggled to comprehend that this was reality. She brought her left hand close to her face to look at the ring, and her gut twisted at the thought of Leia.

"I don't want a different one," she whispered, tears welling in her eyes. "Your mom...she showed me kindness that nobody else did. And after everything, I understand now. I understand why she wanted us together. I forgive her."

"I know," he muttered, bringing a hand to the back of her head and stroking her hair. "So do I."

Rey melted against him and buried her face into the crook of his neck. When emotion overcame her, he held her closer, and she let the steadiness of his breathing regulate hers. His physical presence alone grounded her, but so did his energy. He was strong and solid and safe in every sense of the word, and as she tapped into him through the dyad, the sadness passed, leaving nothing but peace in its wake. She took a deep breath, and as the minutes passed, her mind was soon overrun with what was to come.

"How in the galaxy are we going to manage all of this?" she mumbled into his neck. "The training and coronation were enough already, but now a wedding?"

"Don't worry. I will begin preparations. We can make it official within the week."

"Kylo..." Rey started, pushing herself off his chest so that she was sitting up on him. A slight frown found her face. "Don't you think I should learn a few things about managing my powers before we get married?"

"I suppose." He paused. "I'm just impatient."

"I'm well aware." She playfully rolled her eyes. "Me too, but I want to plan it the right way, not rush it and say I do on the Steadfast, for kriff's sake."

"No?" Kylo taunted, lifting a brow. "You don't want Pryde to officiate?" She narrowed her eyes at him, and a wicked gleam shone in his eyes. "Fine, fine." He gripped her waist, then slid his hands up and down her sides, speaking softly to her. "What do you have in mind, Kitten?"

"In Padme's diary, she talked about her wedding on Naboo. It sounded so beautiful and intimate..." Rey trailed off, biting her lip. "Do you think we can do something like that?"

"Yes. Whatever you want, you will get," Kylo said matter-of-factly as he grabbed her wrists and pulled her atop his chest. "Come down here, Mrs. Ren."

She giggled and rolled off to settle beside him, laying on her side while he stayed on his back. He positioned an arm around her, and she placed her cheek against his chest and draped an arm around his stomach. He sighed, a deep, content sound, and wrapped his hand around the curve of her lower back. With his heartbeat thudding in her ear, she closed her eyes and smiled.

Rey had woken up so afraid this morning, but now, she couldn't imagine a more peaceful day. It almost didn't feel real, and she didn't want to be anywhere else but here, in the Supreme Leader's arms, as his future wife. Which was nearly an inconceivable concept, considering how this all began. She couldn't help it. She started to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all.

Kylo tilted his chin down to look at her. "What is it, Kitten?"

"Do you ever think about how crazy this is?"

"How crazy what is?"

"This—us," she breathed, placing her cheek back down on his tunic. She wrapped her arm around him tighter, and Kylo's hand found her hair. "We were enemies, for star's sake. We were at war. I would've killed you if you had given me the chance, and now look at us."

"Ah, yes," he mused, twirling a piece of her hair around his finger. "You would have forked me in my sleep."

Rey snorted. "Yep. Hux style."

Kylo made an amused sound and repositioned, and she moved with him to get comfortable. Besides the liveliness of the meadow and the constant buzz between their Force-bond, silence enveloped them. The thumping of his beating heart and his head pets pulled her into a deep, relaxed state. She was so warm and comfortable, she could feel the heaviness behind her eyelids as sleep coaxed her in. Through her sleepy bliss, she whispered his name.

"Kylo?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you didn't."

His hand stopped stroking her head. "Didn't what?"

"Give me the chance." To kill you.

Rey sensed his understanding as the unspoken words hung heavily in the air. Words that served as a reminder of where she came from. Where he came from. How he was once her enemy, somebody she saw as a monster. Someone she loathed, someone that tore her away from everything she ever knew, only to find that he was everything she ever needed. With a deep, relaxed exhale, Kylo's fingers resumed playing in her hair.

"Me too, Rey," he murmured. "Me too."