My Valentine

The letter

It was all ready. The karaoke machine, the balloons, the playlist with the songs, and most important, the food, because it's not a party without food, right? So our friends were starting appearing and we were having so much fun all together, and there was she, Emily. Her eyes were like stars, shining and lighting up as she was singing, and man, how she is a good singer. I was almost crying while she was singing "The Story" by Conan Gray, she sounds just like an angel. When I saw her there, standing and being perfect, lighting up my world, making my heart pound two times faster than normal, I swear I almost kissed her, but I didn't do that. No. That wasn't right. You don't have the right to kiss a person just because you like her, no. So I was just there, sitting on my couch with our friends next to me and watching her being the amazing person she is.
It was now my turn to sing, even though I love music, I'm not a very good singer. I tried to sing "Perfect Places" by Lorde, but of course I was bad. Everyone liked it, but I think they only said that to make me feel better.
Ashley was with Josh, they were having so much fun, together, as the cute couple they are. I wish I had that with Emy...
I needed to stop thinking that way so I went to my bedroom to think more clearly. It was almost dinner and I was gonna give Emy the letter I wrote for her after dinner, I didn't knew what to do anymore...
I was so confused but also excited, but, what if she didn't liked me? What if she liked me back? Should I kiss her? Hug her? Say "Thank you!"?
Ok I would definitely not say " Thank you".
I had so much to think about, and about how to react, no matter what the answer was. I needed to rest and think, when suddenly someone appeared in my bedroom
- Hi!!
- Hi!!- I said.
It was Josh, Ash's boyfriend that has Japanese lessons with her.
- How are you??- he said.
- I'm great, what are you doing here on my room?
- Well, you looked very tired and with a lot on your mind, so, I thought it was better for me to check up on you, to see how you were.
- Oh, thank you, that's very kind of you!!
- Thank you!!! Ash always says that I'm the sweetest person she knows, but I think she only said that to make me feel better.
- No, you really look like a good person, don't think that way!!!
- You're a very nice person!!! Emily is lucky to have you as her boyfriend!!!
What? He said what? Did I listened to it well? We are dating, since when? What the-
- Oh, we're not dating, we're just good friends!- this was so hurtful to say.
- Really? I thought you guys were dating, at least was what Ash told me, I don't know what you guys told her so.
Ash told him? What? I needed to know why does Ashley think we are dating, I wish it was true but, I know it isn't... at least yet.
I was on my way to talk to Ashley when I saw her. Emily was singing the song we wrote together, the song I wrote for her, but still, she has no clue it was actually meant for her. Her voice was so smooth and lovely, I almost thought I was dreaming, when she told me to go and sing it with her, because it was our song. We made a duet. My voice sounded the worst but Emy was singing too, so the song ended up perfect anyways. When the song ended it was already dinner time. Some more minutes and the letter I wrote for her was gonna be in her hands, she would actually see her and know what I truly feel for her. I opened my heart and soul for her, and I'm so afraid about her reaction. Will she like? Will she hate it? I had no clue, but, if they thought we were dating, it means we are close, and that's a good sign. Maybe she likes me too and I'm here having a brainstorm for nothing. I overthink so much the most simple things and then I end up like this, almost exploding of emotion and thoughts. I only needed to breath.
And as the time passed the dinner ended, like this, so quickly I couldn't even believe it. I should have gotten more food, if they spent the rest of their life's eating, Emily would never see the letter, and my feelings could be safe, in my heart, as they have been all this time. But it was over. I couldn't put this off any longer.
I got up and told her to come with me to my room, that I needed to give her a thing, in private. She got up too and followed me. She was there sitting on my bed, while I was catching the letter to give her. I was almost dying inside. I gave her the letter and told her to answer me in private, at the end of the party, when everyone had already leaved. She looked at the letter and it made silence. There was no sound, it felt like we were completely alone, when we actually weren't. It was time. Why did I wrote that letter?