My Valentine

Baby don't lie she's just a lookalike

The next day at school I tried my best to not see Kevin, but it was impossible since we were on the same class and he sat in front of me. I tried to ignore him my best, but he was always trying to talk to me, I couldn't ignore him anymore so I answered him
- Emy, are you ignoring me?- he said, he looked better than he was, maybe he wasn't sad anymore?
- Me? No! Why would I ignore you?
- Then why don't you answer my calls and messages? You have been avoiding me all day.
I was avoiding him. I didn't knew how to talk to him after I rejected him. He is my best friend, it was too painful for me, even more because know I was feeling different next to him and I didn't knew why.
- I just wanted to tell you that I met a girl...- he said.
A girl... HE MET A GIRL??? SO FAST??? Wow, I think my rejection didn't affect him at all, so why am I feeling sad? I should be happy he was not hurt, but somehow I felt the opposite.
-Omg!!! Really?- I said, trying to make a happy face, and also trying to support him, but somehow I couldn't.- Who is she? What's her name? When did you guys met? Is she pretty? Does she like you???
- Why are you making so many questions? It looks like you are jealous, but I know you don't like me so, why are you acting like this?
- I'm just curious. Do I know her?
- Actually no, she's from my guitar lessons. She entered in our class yesterday and she's amazing.
- Do... do you like her??- This was kinda hurtful for me to ask.
- Well... it's too early to say that I like her, because I still like you and I need to know her better first, and spend some time with her to start feeling something for her.
- Oh... ok.- I smiled and then walked away.
He didn't follow me, thanks god. I wanted to listen to music so, I put my earphones on and then listened to "Jealousy, Jealousy" by Olívia Rodrigo. I was feeling the music in that moment. I couldn't actually explain why but I just felt it.
I spent the rest of the day at school without saying a word. I looked sad, and I was sad actually, I didn't knew why I was sad but I was and that was the truth.
I went home when the classes ended. I sat on my bed and put "Pacify Her" by Melanie Martinez to play on my phone. I felt it. I was feeling so many songs lately. I didn't knew why.
Well, I was a little bit crazy so, maybe it was me feeling random sad heartbroken songs because I was crazy, or I was just being dramatic because drama is fun, and I was listening to those songs because I didn't like a person so I felt what people feel when their heart is broken. I was creating so many theories that I was tired of my own voice. I put "Heather" by Conan Gray, and then I went to sleep, crying.
The next day I went a park, to sit and relax and stop thinking about Kevin and that girl, when I saw him. He was holding hands with a girl, and I screamed. He looked at me and I tried to hide, but I was sure he saw me anyways. The girl that was with him, somehow looked a lot like me, like a missing twin I never met. Was him trying to forget me dating a girl that looks exactly like me? What? She was literally my lookalike. Now I get why Conan wrote "Lookalike", that girl looks just like me. Same hairstyle, eye color and even her style, even that looked like mine. How dare him? I needed to go there and try to understand what was going on, but instead I just went to a Starbucks that had opened some days ago.
I was frustrated, even more when I saw them entering on the Starbucks. Kevin saw me and went to talk to me.
- Hi Emy!!- he said.
- Hi!!- I was so embarrassed.
- Hi!!- said the girl.
- Who are you?- I asked, a little bit angry.
- Oh, I forgot to present myself. My name is Heather, and I'm friends with Kevin.
I couldn't believe this. Her name was literally Heather, like... HEATHER?!? There's no way I was trade by a Heather, a Heather that is my lookalike.
- Really? Interesting.- I said.
- What is interesting?- she asked me.
- Well... your name, it's interesting.
- Really? Omg, thank you!!!
- I never met a girl called Heather before, but I know a song that's about a girl called Heather.
- Oh, that's so cool!!!
- Yes, it's called "Heather" by Conan Gray, and it's about his crush that liked a girl called Heather, and made him the second option.
- Ohh... I didn't knew about that, it looks very sad.
- It is, and it's what I'm feeling right now.
I left without even saying goodbye. I was too mad to talk to Kevin or Heather or anyone else.
I just wanted people to leave me alone, so I ran to my home, the only place I could be alone without people asking me things I don't wanna answer, like what I felt about Kevin.
This was too much for me, I just wanted some time away from people but then, I realized a thing. It was almost time for our Conan Gray concert in New York, and I was going with Kev. He is the only person I don't wanna see now, I already messed up things so many times... I'm too embarrassed to see him again after what happened. He was literally at a Starbucks with a girl called Heather, and she looked like me. So many people in the world and he needed to trade me by a Heather, how fun? The worst part is that I told her that I was feeling the song, and he heard me saying that...
I couldn't believe that. I couldn't feel the song, like, I didn't liked him, not like that... I guess...
What if I was starting catching feelings? Why would this happen after I rejected him? Why am I so dumb, to the point that I reject him and I start liking him right after that? I'm not okay in the head. How can I like him when I hate love? Is that possible? Well... I guess it is...