My Valentine

An unexpected crush (Kevin's view)

I was leaving the mall when I saw Isa. She was arriving to meet with Emily and Ken, but then she stopped and started talking to me.
- Hi, Kev!
- Hi, Isa! How do you know my nickname is Kev?
- I don't know, I just think it fits you!
- Oh, ah, okay! Thanks, I guess...
- What are you doing here? I thought you and Emily were at the mall, did something happen?
- No... actually, yes. But I don't wanna talk about that...
- It's okay, if you need, you can talk to me. Always.
- Thanks. Now, I'm going.
- What if... we go do something fun? Maybe it'll make you feel better.
- No, it's okay. I'll just go home.
- Anything, if you want, we could go back and see a movie. I'll let you chose.
- Isa, really, it's okay. I'll just go home-
- Come on, let's have fun!!! I bet I can make you feel better.
- I doubt that. It's something between me and Emily. Nothing can help it.
- Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it?
- Actually... it's just that, I feel like Emily only started liking me because she was jealous of Heather, she rejected me and then suddenly, out of nowhere, she starts liking me? Only when I was dating Heather... I don't know... it's stupid.
- No, I get you. Liking someone, getting rejected and then the person goes after you when you are already dating someone else. I've felt that before.
- Really?
- Yes, but then we broke up and I'm single since then.
- Oh, I'm sorry...
- It's okay. I think it probably just wasn't meant to be. Anyways, my type is cute guys with black hair and who like Conan.
- Oh... ah... those are kinda hard to find.
- If I had to say anything, I'd say that you're literally my type. But you got a girlfriend so, yeah, it's okay. You guys are cute together.
- Thank you. Sometimes I feel she doesn't feel the same way...
- Why?
- I already told her so many times that I love her, and she never said it back. She just answers in a sarcastic way or whatever.
- That's a red flag. Tell me, what did you see in Emily?
- Well, she's funny, sweet, crazy, has an amazing style and music taste, and...
- And?
- And she does everything she can to help others feel better... she's the best friend I could ever ask for.
- And maybe that's it.
- What?
- Maybe you guys were meant to be just friends, you know.
- What are you saying...
- I'm just saying that maybe you were better as friends, and maybe that's the reason why you left her with Ken at the mall. Maybe you know it deep down but just don't want to believe in that.
- Are you sure about what you're saying?
- I've experienced that before. That's what usually happens when you date your best friend.
- No... it can't be, it's different with us!!! We were made for each other.
- I believed that too, but one day I realized that wasn't true, we were just good friends and we confused the feelings.
- No, no... NO!
- Anyways, if you feel like you really love her, prove it. Ask her what she feels about you and then we'll see.
- Let's go back!!! I need to talk with Emily.
- Okay.- Isa had a little smile on her face. She sounded weird, but I had to talk with Emily. I had to know the truth...
We then entered in the mall again, and Emily was having so much fun with Ken, they were eating ice cream while sitting near the water fountain. He had his hand on her face, and she was smiling. What have I done... I was basically giving up on the girl I loved for nothing. I had to do something.
- What's going on here?
- Oh, Kevin, you're back!- Ken said.
- Oh, yeah, hi...- Emily was with a very sad voice.
- I guess you found Isa. Hi, Isa!!!
- Hi, Ken!!!
- How do you know my name??
- I heard about you before.
- Oh.
- Anyways, I gotta talk with you, Emily.
- Oh, now you wanna talk?
- Yes.
- Well, now I don't wanna talk with you.
- Why?
- Because you left me in here. We were here together and you left me for nothing. You said you didn't want to talk, so here we go, I'm not talking to you.
- Emily, wait-
- No, you don't deserve this. I tried to explain myself and you didn't want to listen. I'm so tired of this. I need some time alone.
- Emily, do you want me to go with you?
- No, it's okay, Ken, you can stay with them. I just gotta think... a little. Bye everyone.
- Bye!!!- They said.
This was all my fault. I deserved it. I was a horrible person to Emily. Maybe I didn't deserve her... I had to stop thinking about that, I had to think positively. It had to be...
- Kevin, I know Emily said she needs some time alone but... I think you should go after her.- Ken said. Maybe he was right.
- You're right. I'm going after her.
- Wait! Don't you guys want to leave her alone? It's not a good idea to go after her now. Give her some time. If she doesn't go after you, maybe that's the sign you needed to leave her and find someone new.
- What the hell are you saying?- Ken said.
- I'm just saying that maybe Kev should find someone who loves him the same. Someone like... I don't know... me?
- Are you kidding me right now, Isa?
- Yes, it was only a silly joke. But you should indeed leave her alone.
- You know what? I don't care. I'm going after her, because she is my girlfriend.
- Ok, whatever you want sir.
After that I followed Emily to a record store. She was sitting in a corner looking at Conan's vinyls and crying. What have I done...
- Hi.
- I told you to me leave me alone.
- I had to come after you.
- Yk? You where the first one to tell me that you didn't want to talk, but now you're talking to me. How funny, isn't it?
- I know you're mad at me, and you're right. You're right, but I had to come after you and ask you something.
- What, what now?
- Do you love me?
- What? Why are you asking me that?
- Because you never told me you loved me. When I tell you I love you, you just answer with a joke or anything else, but you never ever told me you loved me back. So, yeah. I wanna know.
- I can't believe this. I can't believe you had the guts to come after me after all you've said to ask me that? Are you crazy?
- I need to know. Do you love me.
- I'm not going to answer that.
- Why?
- Because you don't deserve to know the answer.
We looked at each other for some minutes without saying a word. Then, Emily looked at me and said
- I used to like you a lot. I never had that feeling before. You were the first guy that I dated and the first one that I fully trusted... I didn't know that I felt anything more for you other than a friendship feeling at the time where you confessed. You're right, maybe if you never started dating Heather I wouldn't have done anything about my feelings, but I was just confused. Seeing you with another girl made me realize I wanted to be the only girl in your life. That was what made me kiss you that night at Conan's concert...- She stopped talking for a while, took a deep breath and then kept going.- But now... after everything you said, I don't know how I feel about you anymore. I've never seen this side of you before. You were so mad, sad, I don't know. You didn't even let me explain stuff and just left. And you expect me to do anything about it? You expect me to give an answer to your question? That's not going to happen... I think maybe... maybe we're better as friends...- She was with tears in her eyes and I was too, was she breaking up with me?- I really believe that maybe if we never started dating our lives would be better.
- You don't mean what you're saying. You're just hurt, I am hurt too, but we can get over the pain, together.
- No, I do mean this, we're breaking up. You deserve someone better. Someone who's not me... Goodbye.
- Wait... Wait... NO!!!! COME BACK!!!
She got up and left the store running as fast as she could at the time. I was sobbing so much I could barely see anything in front of me. It was over. She broke up for me. Just because I said what I felt... I couldn't believe that. That couldn't be really happening... Isa was right...
- Hey!
- Isa??- I said while crying.
- Yeah, I kinda saw the whole thing happening. I'm sorry.
- You were right, we're better as friends.
- The truth hurt sometimes, but what can I say. I'm just a girl.
She gave me her hand and with the other one started cleaning my tears.
- You look very bad rn, do you know that?
- No, I don't.
- Well, you do look bad. Let's go to the bathroom, using my hand to clean your tears is not enough.
- Haha, funny.
- Let's go!!!
We went to the nearest bathroom, there was bathrooms for men and women, but there was one where both genders could go. We went to that one. Isa grabbed some paper and then started cleaning my face and brushing my hair with her hand.
- You know, even though I was right, I'm so sorry for you. You deserve someone who won't discard you at the first opportunity.
- Yeah... I guess.
- I swear any girl would be so lucky to have you as their boyfriend. You're amazing!!!
- Thank you, Isa.
- Now, you gotta smile. She's the one who lose!!!
- How am I supposed to smile when I lost the girl I loved the most...
- You got a point, but you can't get stuck with the feelings for you ex forever!!!
- She just broke up with me-
- I know that, but... maybe you got someone who will treat you right, right in front of you...
- What are you saying, Isa??
- I don't know. Maybe... my feelings?
- What...
- I kinda like you, Kevin, and I know I got not chance but I had to tell you the truth...
- But you know me for almost no time, how can you like me??
- Cami used to talk about you A LOT. So I feel like I've known you my whole life. And you're sweet and funny and such an amazing person. I'd fall for you even without knowing you at all.
- Are you sure about this?
- Yes, yes I am.
Then she gave me a big hug and looked me right into the eyes for some seconds and... slowly... kissed me.
I didn't remember what happen but she kissed me again. And I let her? What was happening I loved Emily, not Isa... right? I started crying more because I was so confused...
- I'm sorry, I can't do this right now...
- No, I'm the one who's sorry...
- Can you give me some time to think? I'm not okay right now...
- Sure, I'll let you think. Maybe this will help you.
She kissed me one more time and hugged me while I was crying nonstop. I didn't know what to do, I just knew that while Isa was kissing me I could only think about Emily, and then I cried more.