Chapter 20//Connor

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Connor

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Two familiar faces stare back at me as Troye shows me the paper with one of the people that wants me dead. This can not be happening. I still have no idea why either of these people would want to kill me though and that is so frustrating. I had gasped when I saw the two people on the paper because it breaks my heart that one of these two people want me dead. I had a pretty good relationship with both of these guys when I knew them. Troye looks like he's going to burst out of frustration that I'm not talking so I start to explain how I know these two guys.


"Garrett James Simon was one for my best friends when we were little back in Minnesota. We were friends from birth until about seventh grade when we kind of just drifted apart. We were at different schools and we just didn't keep in touch." I pause not really wanting to explain how and why I know Jason. Of course, Troye prompts me to tell him about Jason.


"And what about this Guiles Jason Sauter?" Troye asks and I avoid looking into his eyes as I start telling him the history between me and Jason.


"He went by Jason-"


"Didn't you tell me you fucked a guy named Jason?" Troye interrupts with a somewhat sour look on his face. He gets really jealous when talking about me having sex with other people. I mean that's understandable but I guess I've never really had someone get jealous over me.


"I'll get there so just hush up and listen." I say pausing and thinking about how to tell him about this for a moment before I start talking. "Jason and I weren't really close but we did have sex three times."


"But you said Paul was your only fu-" Troye interjects and I throw him a glare.


"Be quiet and let me talk please. The first time we were at a party, that was ironically at Garrett's house, and we both were absolutely smashed. I don't even remember that time. The second I was really horny and he was there and I was starting to get to know him so I kind of trusted him. The third time I was just really lonely and again he was there so we just kind of yeah..." Troye sits there looking at me with his hands clenched into fists in his lap. He's thinking as he looks down at the paper in front of us. He's thinking hard probably trying to think out logically which of these two men was more likely to kill me. I think it's obvious because I have more history with Jason, but at the same time neither of them have a legitimate reason to want to kill me. I haven't spoken to either of them in years.


"Every logical part of my brain is pointing towards Guiles. It makes more sense, even if this hardly makes sense at all. Why would he kill you? To me this seems like it might be some jealousy thing and if it is it would make a lot more sense to just kill me, so maybe he could have you." My heart aches at the thought of someone killing my Troye. I don't know if I'm quite in love with him yet but I think I'm damn close. Love is such a weird and indescribable thing, you can't really describe unless you truly have experienced it, I think. He sounds like he's thinking out loud and I don't want to hear it right now. I don't want my mind to run wild with possibilities that may or may not be true.


"Can we just go to sleep and worry about this later?" I ask throwing the paper off the bed and flinging myself at him so that we fall back on the mattress. I lean over him and kiss his beautiful mouth kind of wanting for things to get heated. I slip my tongue into his mouth as his hands start to roam up the hoodie I'm wearing. What a great distraction from our fucked up lives. His fingertips are cold and feather light against my skin. We continue to make out with hands wandering over each other chest and arms and backs and butts.

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