My Killer Soulmate (Tronnor AU)

Chapter 10//Troye

Troye

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I look over at Connor who is looking down on the city like it's the prettiest thing that he's ever set his eyes on. It's intriguing watching the way that he is so passionate about the beauty of the world around him. He takes his iPhone out of his pocket and he snaps a picture of the sun setting. It's funny how one little thing can mean the world to someone. Connor loves to find the beauty of the things around him, he loves to look at things from a new perspective and I think that's why Dan and Phil love his work so much. He's so unique but it's in such an amazing way.

"What do you think the world would be like if we didn't have numbers on our wrists controlling our lives?" I ask him and he gives me a side way glance as he makes a face that makes me think that he is thinking. He seems to consider what I've asked for sometime before actually answering me. He lies back in the grass and I follow his example crossing my arms under my head. I look up at the sky as he starts talking to me.

"I think it would make some thing more difficult but it would make other things easier. If you didn't know the exact moment when you were going to meet your soul mate you wouldn't have to worry about when you would meet them because you wouldn't know. At the same time if your wrist doesn't tell you who your soul mate is, how are you suppose to know? What if the person you thought was your soul mate really wasn't? Then you ended up marrying them and your real soul mate was out there looking for you but you would never find them because you married the wrong person. Maybe the world would be a better place if we got to decide but in the end the person your wrist tells you to be with is usually the best person for you to be with."

"I think you would just know that it was your soul mate even if we didn't have the clocks. There is no denying that when we looked into each others eyes for the first time, we both felt something. I don't really know what that something is but I felt something that I've been trying to feel again ever since." Connor rolls over and I prop myself up on my elbow so that I can look into his eyes. He looks so perfect like this, his smooth skin is shinning in the dimming light. He has just the smallest hint of a smile playing on his lips and his eyes are radiating happiness as he looks over at me. I feel something in the pit of my stomach, its a light fluttery feeling, and I start smiling uncontrollably.

"I have work tomorrow. I think we should go home." Oh yeah, Connor gets to go back to his dream job tomorrow while I sit around feeling sorry for myself and hoping that Dan doesn't call me with another assignment. I sit up running a hand through my hair before I stand up, holding a hand out to Connor to help him up. He accepts the gesture and I when my hand touches his I feel something that I don't know how to describe. It feels different now touching him then when I was doing it in front of our friends. Knowing that this is real even if we let go of each other as soon as possible.

The drive to the apartment is quiet except for the soft music coming from the speakers. I can faintly hear Connor humming and I can't help but think that it sounds nice. We don't eat dinner together, making to different things before heading off to our separate rooms. I eat my macaroni and cheese slowly savoring the taste as I watch some stupid romance movie. After a few more movies I decide I should try to sleep. I know that nothing good ever comes from me sleeping but I do need to sleep or Connor will get mad at me. I do care whether or not he's mad at me. I want to get along with him and eventually yes I do want a real relationship with him. I wasn't lying to him when I told him that I have every intention of falling in love with him.

After I lie down to go to sleep I probably am awake for another hour before the torture begins. I don't want him to feel like I'm using him. I don't want to do anything that is going to make him uncomfortable, so when I wake up in a cold sweat with a scream stuck in my throat I don't make my way to Connor's room. I sit with my knees to my chest and my arms curled around my knees. I sit there and think for about three hours before I decide that if I don't go to sleep right now I'm going to end up doing something terrible with myself out of anger at myself for what I've done to so many people.