Know That I Loved You

Part 4

(Ian)

He's sitting in the car with his eyes closed so I take it as an opportunity to stare at him. All the things that are going through my mind as I'm looking at him are making me question my sexuality, even though I never really cared about it. I never pushed away the idea of being with the same gender, but I have a feeling he's not on the same page by the way he freaks out whenever I'm too close.

Usually I want to kill my rivals but he... he makes my blood boil everytime he's near me, everytime he looks my way, everytime he touches me no matter if it's aggressively or not. I throw my cig on the ground and get in the car.

-Why'd you help me?- he speaks up with his eyes still closed. I know the answer to his question but I debate whether to tell him or not. He wouldn't believe me if I said that I care about him and that I don't want him to get punished by his evil father.

-Because you helped me too- so I tell him another reason. He finally opens his eyes and turns the car on. Is that the end of our conversation? I know he hates my guts for sleeping with his fuck buddy but that's the only way I can be close to him.

Everytime I'm inside her the only thing stuck in my mind is him, his name, his face, his hands on me, his scent... I don't want to admit it but all I'm thinking about these days is him.

-The thing you said earlier, that you don't want me around Gigi because you don't trust me, are you sure that's the reason? Because to me it looks like you trust me very much- I tease him and his grip tightens around the wheel. Come on Kai... let it out, tell me you're furious that I took another thing from you.

-The thing is that you keep interfering with my life when you know you shouldn't, we messed around enough with our fathers' business- he doesn't look at me at all. He's right we did fuck up.

-Just because I'm fucking your friend doesn't mean I'm interfering with your life- he finally turns to me and I can see the anger building up in his eyes. I love this.

-You're playing mind games with me while fucking my friend- he spits out. He's smart, he knows I have other intentions, he just doesn't know what they are.

-How am I playing mind games with you?- I'm trying not to smirk but his reactions please me very much. His eyes land on my lips and then back to my eyes. I know he gets confused when I smirk at him because he doesn't know whether I'm serious or not.

-You know very well how- i can't help but watch his adam's apple rise in his throat as he swallows hard.

-I do but I want you to say it- he gives me a confused look and i stop smiling so he can see that I'm serious. I want to know what he thinks my intentions are, though I myself do not know what they are anymore.

-You texted me through her phone and then deleted the message to make me look crazy- there's no anger in his tone, I know he's confused that I'm not denying it.

-I did- he lifts his brow and I finally let my smirk appear again. I bet he thinks I'm crazy, and I bet I actually am. I lean closer to him and he bites the inside of his cheek. I'm not completely sure if he feels this temptation that I feel whenever I'm around him and I really want to find out.

-Why?- he doesn't blink once. I slowly reach out to his neck and he follows my hand with his eyes. I take a gentle hold of his throat and he struggles to swallow. I can feel the movement of his adam's apple in my palm and that gets me excited to an unknown extent.

I run my thumb over it and he swallows again. The way he reacts gives me reassurance that he feels it too, but I don't know what this feeling is. For me it's one of a constant yearn for nearness which I've never felt before. I want to be as close as I can every second I get.