Disasters of Brazil

Chapter 14

Anxiety

My anxiety levels rises. I was with Matt in his house. I was getting tutored by him on Trigonometry since I don't get the concept of it. As I saw the story of Ate Zam on Matt's phone dahil sinabi niya saakin, tumaas ang anxiety ko.

Just how?

What?

How?

How?

It felt like I was dissociating from my body by that news. I'm hysterical by just that situation. How is Ate Zam flirting with my brother while Ate Zam is doing that to Matt too.

What the hell?

Is she two timing?

Hell no! I won't let her hurt my brother's feelings. 

What if she's giving him false hopes?

I'll fucking kill her for that!

"They know each other....." Matt says, getting shocked by that Instagram story too. Papers on Matts's table started to fly around. Para akong nahimasmasan sa nakita ko. I'm being overprotective to my brother, that's why.

I want to drink Zoloft but I didn't go for a check-up in Psychiatry so I have no right to drink it. I'm also too young for this self-medicating thoughts which is not even right. Ugh!

"Anyway why are you bothered, I mean we by that?" Matt chuckled.

I didn't wanna tell him my reason for it dahil mag mumukhang akong assuming for that. Imagine telling him.

Ate Zam is two timing flirting with you and to my brother.

Hell no! I won't tell those things.

"Let's just play Volleyball?" he asked.

I slowly nod and stand up from my Indian sit on the floor. Both of us were happy when Matt entered the final cut in varsity. It's so expected that he'll made it and he did. As we have picked the ball from his closet, we walk downstairs.

He was dribbling the ball up and down kahit nasa loob palang kami ng bahay. When we went outside, there's no shiny sun. It's purely cloudy weather and windy. We go for a short ball gameplay only.

I set and toss the ball to him and he received it with his receiving motion hand. The ball went up to me and I spike it to him and he immediately toss it up. Damn he's really fast!

"Why are you wearing your glasses?" I ask. "Baka masira 'yan." I say, pointing at his glasses using my pointy finger.

"Nah," he shook his head and focused on the ball.

"Okay," I bit my lips and received the ball once again.

We played volleyball, receive, toss and spike gameplay on a shortball for almost an hour and it was something I really appreciated. We get to do quality time as friends.

Friends.

Not as lovers.

He was also having a good time with me. I just love the way he enjoys, so am I. When we got tired from playing, we went inside their house. Jeafarmanda was her sister. She's in her room playing toys and from time to time, Matt was checking up on her and give her what she needs.

I obviously see my brother's traits on him. I remember when we were a child, kuya Prinze will always give me and spoil me with toys. Spend time with me, play with me and protect me. Jeafarmanda looks like Matt but a girl version of it.

"I need to go home," paalam ko kay Matt.

"Okay," he says while washing the dishes. "Your Grandma will go here?" he asks.

I shook my head, "no." I say. "Kuya Prinze." 

"Okay, ingat palagi." He says.

When my brother fetched me, I immediately ask him about Ate Zam.

"Why are you so invested in it?" He says, arching a brow.

"It's not that," I shook my head. "I want to know how," I say. I can't say the exact reason. It might hurt him and baka magalit pa siya kay Matt. On the other hand hindi rin naman siguro pero I don't want to risk. I know my brother he's not capable of doing those things but I just don't want to risk.

"Senior High School Exhibit week." He says.

Oh shit!

That was also the day I met Ate Zam! She's really two timing guys?!

That girl ugh!

My anxiety was rising. I don't know but all I can do is hide everything that is happening. Matt does not know what I assume. My brother does not what I assume as well. Ugh fuck!

I wanted to argue with my brother. If only I could tell him what Ate Zam is currently doing during the exhibit week. Eh baka mas umasa lang lalo 'tong kapatid ko tapos ang ending ay heartbreak.

I don't know but maybe I'm just to hysterical with everything? I shouldn't be overthinking these kinds of stuff right? I shouldn't be.

I have the thought what if Ate Zam is just playing with my brother? If she does, I'll kill her for that!

Night time came and Grandma is still on her clinic. Our agenda to unfold the suspicious secrets were postponed but tomorrow I will try to start. I still don't know what was happening. There's something lacking in our history. Something Grandma is hiding from me and my brother about my parents. I kept on assuming things but I want to insinuate it and find proofs.

"Kuya can we check Grandma's room?" I ask. "She's not yet home. What if she's hiding something in there?" I shrugged.

"We can't enter her room without her permission Roberta." My brother explains.

I shook my head. "What if she's hiding something there? I mean anything that can explain why things happen, just like what happened tp her patients last time.

"Kuya please I'll just check. You watch her outside and tell me if she's home already or not. Please?" I begged.

My brother seemed defeated at ang ending ay pumayag siya. As I enter Grandma's room, her room was very simplistic and minimal. It doesn't have a lot of things. There's this secret square box I saw with passcode. I don't even know the password!

1 2 3

4 5 6

7 8 9

0 # *

I kept pressing random numbers on the passcode but everything was error! I sigh and roll my eyes due to my frustrations. Goddamnit! what if this is already the answer?

It was such a waste of time so I stood up and check her drawers if there's a password but all I see was necklaces, watches, chargers. I couldn't even see her patient files here. Though I'm not allowed to look at those but anything that will answer those secrets , I'll do anything.

My phone rang and I roll my eyes when my brother texted me.

Prinze: Grandma is already here. Get out of the room.

Gosh! Mission failed day 1!