Disasters of Brazil

Chapter 23

TOKTOKTOKTOK

I woke up, hearing that sound. I woke up because of that sound. It's irritating me so much. Napabangon ako nang kaonti at naghawi ng buhok. Namimikit mikit pa ang mga mata ko nang marinig ko na naman ang tunog na iyon.

TOKTOKTOKTOK

Padabog akong bumangon sa kama, with my eyes furrowed at pumunta sa bintana namin. I opened the windows and to my surprise, it's our neighbor. Those kids, around 7 to 8 years old. Three of them were playing Lato-Lato (Lato lato is like two balls attached to a string and you bump the balls to one another to make a sound and rotate it in a circular motion.)

"HOY KITA NIYONG MAY NATUTULOG PA, KA-AGA-AGA MAGSITIGIL NGA KAYO! I'M TRYING TO HAVE AN ENOUGH SLEEP YOU PIECES OF SHIT!" I screamed at them at natakot sila.

They stopped playing the lato lato and went inside their houses. I released a heavy sigh then closed the window. I went back to my bed and look beside it, my medicine are placed in a table.

I went for Psychiatric consultation a month ago. I was so stressed with everything. Emotionally, physically, and mentally. I had to deal with academic stress, overthinking about Andi's mental state. Right now, we can't visit her anymore as a sign of respect.

It's Andi's decision for us to stop visiting her. It broke my heart. I broke into pieces and struggled on a daily basis due to stress. Not until one day, a month ago, I had an episodes of panic attacks for 2 weeks so I went to a Psychiatrist. It wasn't hard to look for a Psychiatrist since our Grandma is a one and she knows a lot of people to refer me to.

I'm not diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) or PD (Panic Disorder) dahil naagapan naman kaagad ang mental health problem ko. But the problem is, I have to deal with medications. I'm taking anxiolytic medications for my anxiety and I have to drink it on a daily basis. I also had to deal with these bothersome intrusive thoughts on my head which is very distressing and anxiety provoking.

I looked at my prescription attached on my wall.

Anafranil - Take 1 tablet after breakfast.
Zoloft - Take 1 tablet after lunch.
Note - if nausea, vomiting, itchiness, allergic reaction occurs, please stop the medication and go to the nearest Emergency Room.

I almost puked to death when I see my medicines. I struggle swallowing them. Matt, Ladim and my friends were at my side through-out the month as I struggle mentally. I opened our GC as messages start to pop-up.

Carlin: Good morning! Don't forget to drink your meds ha. @/Roberta 

Nadia: Cheer up sissy! @/Roberta 

Matt: Should I go to your house?

Ladim: Kaya mo 'yan bro!

I typed a message.

Me: Thank you! @everyone 

As I was about to close my phone, Matt messaged me with pictures of his dog. I smiled and type a messaged.

Me: Cute!

Matt: You okay, my friend?

Me: Hmm....Idk :((

Matt: I'm going to your house. I'll bring you food :)

Me: Nakakahiya wag na hehe

Matt: Please? :)

Me: Fine :) thanks.

After that, I sent Ladim a message.

Me: HOY GAGO LADIM KINIKILIG AKO KAY MATT!!!! HELP!!

Ladim: Chill bruh HAHAHAHAHHA bakit?

Me: He's coming here, dadala siya food.

Ladim: Naku bebetime na this HAHHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Tangina mo sagad AHHAHAHAHAH

Ladim: Aalis kami eh, enjoy kana lang dyan with Matt. Bye-bye

Me: Bye!

I fixed myself up and went to shower. After I took a shower, I wore a black dolphin shorts and a white t-shirt. I blowered my hair and walked down stairs. My brother left along with my Grandma. They were about to buy groceries for our house.

I waited for Matt to come and when I saw his black Fortuner car outside, I panicked in a way na kinikilig ako. He brought his dogs with him. Nakita ko pa sumisilip sa bintana 'yong kapatid niya, kumakain ng ice cream at kalat kalat sa mukha.

He knocked on the gate and when I opened the gate, he was smiling at me. 

"Yallo!" he waved at me. 

He was holding a Mcdonalds paperbag at mukhang madami pa siyang binili. Kinuha ko iyon dahil hawak hawak niya pa ang tali ng aso niya.

"Is it okay if Shin and Scarlet would come?" he asked.

I nod, "sure! i'd love to see them here!"

I patted Shin and Scarlet's head and they licked my hands and their tails are wiggling. I told them to come inside. Matt left Shin and Scarlet at our backyard.

"Don't worry, they don't bite people's stuffs." Matt assured me.

Nang makapasok na kami, we unpacked the Mcdonalds bag and my eyes widened in confusion to see so many foods.

"Ang dami naman," I scratched the nape of my neck. "6 pieces nuggets, pancakes, Fries and spaghetti?" I ask.

"Yep para sa'yo yan lahat." He smiled.

"Nako!" I laughed. "Eh ano sa'yo?"

"Coffee lang," he said.

"Hay nako share na tayo nang pagkain!" turo ko sa mga pagkain.

We sat beside each other at nang umiinom nang kape si Matt, I rolled the spaghetti using a fork and nilapit iyon sa bibig ni Matt. I don't even know why I did that.

"Kain na," I said.

"That's for you," he says.

"Dali na." Pangungulit ko. "Ah...." I say.

He opened his mouth and I can sense na namumula ang pisngi niya. He grabbed a a piece from a pancake using a fork and dipped it in the sauce. He reciprocated what I did.

"Ikaw naman," he chuckled. 

He's doing the same thing?

I opened my mouth at sinubo niya ang pancake. I was still blushing. "Thank you Matt," nag iwas ako nang tingin.

"For?" he asked.

"For looking after me for a month, I mean even months before that." I explained.

"I love taking care of you." He says. "I've always wanted to look after you."

"But why?" I asked. "Ang tagal mo nang ginagawa ito saakin Matt. Bakit? at 'yong trato mo saakin ganito. Saakin lang ba? or pati kay Zam din?" I asked.

His eyes furrowed in confusion. "Zam? there's nothing between me and ate Zam. We're just playing together but I don't like her."

"Huh?" I bit my lips, getting confused.

"If you wanna know, Zam is just clinging to me. I don't like her. I don't know why she hugs me sometimes pero It's not what it looks like." He assured me. "I like someone else," he says.

"Who?" I ask.

"You Roberta," he faced me. "I like you, I have feelings for you. 3 months na."

Did he just confessed to me?

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