push-ups in drag

9; rag doll dance

faintly, whispers fill the area around me. they swirl around my ears like a trail left underwater. slow, and inaudible words make my unopened eyes spin, adjusting to the angle i didn't fall asleep in. unlike my suffrage earlier, i feel weightless. i don't know what i'm resting on, if anything. all i am is present, all i am is hearing. i cannot tell if the blood on my face still resides. i cannot tell if my calves are open gashes. i cannot tell and i do not want to. i wish i could stay in this state forever.

the unborn feeling of sanctity is enough to pacify the questions i have of how i got here; like it's as if i've not yet lifted a finger, like i've never interacted with any evil eye. the diminutive whisps of utterance bring me back to reality.

to Hell.

"He'll wake up anytime now.. Where the fuck were you guys? He was obviously looking for you." Bex questions, their voice rippling across my head.

"Those, uh.. Ex-any-" Frank tries, and fails.

"Exanimalis," Gerard finishes, his voice closer than the others, "as you already fucking heard. We were putting up sigils on the windows, locking them."

"Yeah, I know what putting up the damn things do, you don't have to tell me." Bex declares, audibly rolling their eyes.

"Speaking of, we never got to finish. You two should go finish that."

"My arm hurts, dude. I'm not built for rubbing your unholywater on icy-hot glass." Frank complains

"You- Hold on, you.. What were you thinking?! You didn't finish?! Your boy toy isn't that important!" Bex yells

"Is it that important? Surely it can wait-" Frank asks

From what I can tell without opening my eyes, Bex grabs Frank's arm and pulls him fast to go finish.

The unknown thing suspending me gains solidity, and it's very obviously Gerard. My head is against his chest, and my legs are curled up as if I recently were carried. I don't speak yet, I've only barely gained back my senses. I attempt to open my eyes, but they're still restrained into themselves. The aftermath of the agony catches up to me, stinging my skin and making me flinch and groan.

"You okay?" They ask, with genuine concern

My tounge feels around the inside of my cheek, making sure that the slits are sealed enough to not re-open before I respond groggily; "..No?... I don't know.."

He puts his hand on the back of my neck as he adjusts his position on the couch. "What happened?"

"Couldn't tell you if I tried."

"Was if painful? How long were you there?"

"Yes." I respond blunty, digging my head into his chest more, absent mindedly.

He laughs, just a little. The questions stop for a bit, from his end, at least.

"Those ex things, uhm.." I try to open my eyes again, forgetting fast that I can't, "what are they?"

They sigh, their chest deflating equally. "You know how we- well, Frank was talking about how Jesus and God and all their holiness aren't all that forgiving toward us? Yeah.. They aren't too merciful to anyone. The Exanimalis are the forms of people who died believing they'd make it to Heaven- The type who'd go to church on Easter and Christmas, no more. In actuality, to make it to Heavan, you have to be the type of person who protests against human rights and goes to church more than they do home. Or, as I was, a priest."

I sit there for a second. Gerard was a priest? How didn't I know? Oh.. Oh my god. I've been flirting with a priest this whole time?!

"What? You were a priest?" I ask, trying to hide my embarrassment.

"Emphasis on were, but yes." They stroke their thumb slowly on my neck back and forth. "Not the crazy type. I wasn't assaulting altar boys-"

"I- Fucking hope not, dude."

"The Vatican is insane." They mumble

"Is that why you left? Did you leave?"

"It's.. conflicting. I did, yes, but not.. in a normal capacity." Gerard says, as if that were to count as an answer of any substance.

"Any clarification on that..?"