Songs for this chapter:
Bad Blood- Bastille
VooDoo Doll- 5 Seconds of Summer
Habits (Stay High)- Tove Lo
After Chad left, I crawled in bed and fell asleep quickly. I knew if I stayed up any longer I'd think myself into a sea of tears. When I woke up, I was angry. I was angry at him for speaking to me like that. I was angry at him for never telling me how he felt about me, and for making me feel like whatever we had was...more. I was angry at him for being rude.
I pushed up out of bed and dressed quickly, ready to get the school day over with. Our project was due this week, and Chad had hardly done anything to help me with it. I'd finished the paper a few days ago, and now all that was left was Chad's visual aid, I had no idea if he'd done it or what he'd even planned for it. I was now nervous, having myself and my grades rely on him.
I walked to school, pushing away the part of my heart that missed my before and after school car rides with Chad. The way he'd always play his music too loud and drive too fast, the way he'd glance over at me from the road and smile. I couldn't allow myself to miss him like I did, it was a recipe for pain.
The school day dragged on. There was another party this weekend, and that seemed to be all that anyone could talk about. At lunch, Zac and a few of my girl friends asked if I wanted to go with them. I hesitated, remembering the awfulness of the last party I'd attended. I think Zac realized what was holding me back, I'd told him everything, because he said "Come on! I promise we'll stick together this time" and smiled, that charming, mischievous smile I'd come to love.
"Okay, okay. I'll go" I told them. Zac squealed in excitement, immediately going over the details. I smiled along with the rest of them. Maybe tonight would be different. And a party was exactly what I needed to get over what happened between Chad and me.
Eventually it was time for our English class. Chad was here today, and surprisingly sat in the seat behind me, like he'd done so many times before. I felt my nerves tensing up. I was just hoping he wouldn't have any more rude things to say.
We sat through the whole class silently. As much as it drove me crazy, I was a bit relieved I didn't have to endure any snarky comments about what happened between us. Part of me thought that he wouldn't have made any anyway, but I had to remind myself that nothing with Chad goes as expected.
As the bell rang, and the students began to file out of the classroom, I stood up and threw my bag over my shoulder. I felt it hit something and turned around realizing, it was Chad's head, which was leaned forward as he tied his shoe.
"I'm really sorry!" I sputtered, nervous he thought I was trying to get back at him.
Chad stood up, eyes hitting my face and lips curving downward. "All the shit I said to you, and you're the one apologizing?" he said. I couldn't decipher the emotion on his face. He looked partly amused and partly...sorry?
I shrugged, the awkward tension falling over me. "I just meant for hitting you with my bag. It was an accident" I said, looking down. I couldn't look into his blue-green eyes again, or I'd fall once more.
"I know it was" He said, my eyes still downcast from his stare. I thought he was going to say more, but instead he turned on his heel and walked out of the classroom.
I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and adjusted my bag. Yes, I definitely needed this party tonight.
After clearing a "sleepover with the girls and Zac" with my mom, I put on yoga pants and a hoodie, shoving my party clothes into a duffel bag. My mom was way too suspicious on her own, I knew if I left the house in clothes suitable for a party, she'd immediately give the the inquisition and break me. I'd gotten better at getting around the truth, but I still wasn't the best liar.
I gave her a quick hug and kiss before hopping into Zac's car, which was waiting for me in my driveway.
Zac drove to our friend Lindsey's house so we all could get ready and leave together. Heather and Macy were already there, when we arrived. I ran the flat iron over my hair while my friends gushed about all the cute boys who'd be at tonight's party. But my mind was somewhere else. It wasn't on Shaun Conway, the newly single quarterback, or Noah Stuart, the swim team captain. My brain was torn between Chad's eyes, and my constantly resurfacing anger towards him.
Finally, we were all done getting done up, and piled back into Zac's car to head to Myles Duncan's house. Heather had told us that his parents were in Barcelona on an anniversary trip and he had the house to himself.
A short drive later, Zac was pulling up in front of one of the biggest houses I'd ever seen. There were several cars already parked in front, but we managed to find one not too far away. As we walked up the driveway, I felt excitement rush in my veins.
Loud music was pumping throughout the house, and tons of people were in the pool out back. Myles had set up strobe and other flashing lights near a DJ booth by the back door. As our group dispersed, Zac grabbed my arm. "Never again" he promised.
We wove through the crowd of people to our desired location: the keg. It turned out our other friends had the same idea, and I laughed as we all met up there at almost the same time. "You should totally do a kegstand, Heather" Macy said, taking a sip from her plastic cup.
Heather quickly rejected and all my friends turned to me, "have you done one before?" she asked.
My shocked reaction gave me away, and they quickly helped me to a handstand above the metal barrel. Then, the counting started
One the cool liquid shot into my mouth
Two, I swallowed
Three, four, five, six, seven, I took big gulps
Eight, nine, ten, the blood was beginning to rush to my head
Eleven, twelve, thirteen, I breathed out my nose
Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, I couldn't keep going
Seventeen, Eighteen It felt a little like drowning
Nineteen, Alright, just one more
Twenty
I wiggled my legs, allowing my friends to set them back on the floor. Once I was on my feet, I noticed my stunt had attracted a bit of a crowd. As scanned the group, my eyes met the only pair that mattered. A pair of blue-green eyes with an unsurprisingly unreadable emotion clouded over them.
