I spent the rest of the morning hanging out with Zac and rehashing the details of the night before. He still seemed skeptical of my thing with Chad, but didn't push it.
"You already know how I feel about it," he said, changing the DVD that had been playing in the background. "You just seemed so hurt last night, I don't want him to keep making you feel that way."
It was a fair response. I was kind of a wreck when he came to pick me up last night. And there had been a lot of highs and lows during my only couple-month stint of friendship and more with Chad.
"I don't want that either," I said quietly. "I just.. I just really like him. He's not used to relationships and he has a temper and not a great family life and," I stopped. "He deserves to have someone who doesn't give up, you know?"
Zac gave me a smile that looked a bit painful and nudged my shoulder.
"You're a really good person, Bel. But don't let him take everything and give nothing, alright?"
I nodded, knowing what he meant. Chad had already given me more than he realized, and now that I took the time to think about it, more than I thought either. Sure, he made me cry and drove me crazy but I was coming way further out of my shell than I had before. Granted he had a temper, but I couldn't shake how protective and heroic he had been when I'd gone through that stuff with Dylan. How he didn't pressure me at all last night. How really decent of a person I've come to know he is. He was trying, and I knew that it was different for him, but the fact that he wanted to try for me meant something.
I talked out all my feelings to Zac. Recounted everything from last night and the past couple of months. I talked about his friends and about Joe and about Dylan. I talked about the yelling I'd heard this morning and his brother. It felt good to just rehash everything, cathartic even. But I kept the story about the telescope to myself. The small, curly haried, broken boy was still a still a giant gash in my memory and I didn't want to share it.
After we finished talking, Zac drove me back home and came in to visit with my mom. She absolutely loved him and they started yammering on about some television show while I went upstairs to change. The clothes I'd been wearing had seen a lot in the past 18 or so hours and I smiled a bit as I peeled the jeans off my legs, silently savoring the light smell of beer, sand, and lake water.
Once I had on a fresh outfit, I padded back downstairs grabbed a glass of water, joining Zac and my mother in the living room, where she was inviting him for dinner.
"Oh, really that's okay Mrs. Roy. I have to work in a few hours anyway," he said, standing up from his spot on the couch.
I looked at the stone clock on the adjacent wall, noting that it was much later in the day than I thought, nearly five o'clock. Zac worked at the local video store, which made perfect sense -- he was a major movie buff in addition to playing the lead in all of our school musicals.
"Oh, well thanks for brining her home," my mom said, also standing and following Zac to the door.
"Yeah, thanks for letting her stay over, we watched more Gossip Girl than we could handle."
My mom returned his chuckle and said goodbye, closing the door behind him. When she returned to the living room, she picked up her phone and began typing away, absentmindedly asking what I wanted for dinner.
I shrugged, pulling my feet under a blanket that was sprawled across the footstool.
"Can you just go pick up a pizza then?" She asked, not looking up from her phone. "I still have a bunch of paperwork to do, I can call it in."
"Yeah, sure. Can we get the spinach alfredo one?"
My mother nodded and dialed the number before handing me a few bills out of her wallet. I got up and grabbed my green, anorak jacket, and slipping my feet into a pair of Toms by the door. She was still repeating the order so I waved a quick 'bye' before grabbing my keys and shutting the door behind me.
As I got into the driver's seat of my car it occured to me how little I'd driven it this year. Chad had frequently driven me to school, save for the few gaps filled with our fighting and me driving myself in the old clunker.
The leaves were falling down in rapid succession and I marveled at the sight of it against the sunset. As much as I complained about suburbia, it was sometimes really beautiful. I navigated the familiar streets easily and pulled into a front row spot at our local pizza shop. I couldn't help but remember the time I was here with Dylan during the first week of school when I'd literally ran into Chad. I knew so little then.
I locked the door and got out, thankful for my jacket, giving the unseasonably cold weather. I knew it was October, but this seemed a little excessive. When I got to the take out counter, Don was behind it, boxing and taping reciepts to orders.
"Hey, Bel!" he yelled when he saw me. "Pizza's not quite done yet, feel free to take a seat while you wait."
I thanked him and grabbed a small table only big enough for two. They were decently busy but not packed. I'd known Don for years, he was a manager here and since my family had frequented this place, he got to know us pretty well.
"Aye, Arabella!" Someone yelled from the opposite side of the restaurant.
I scanned the dining area, looking for the speaker when my eyes landed on a group of leather-clad, rowdy boys at a corner booth. I smiled and got up to join them.
"Hey!" I said, smiling at them.
"What are you doing all by yourself?" The boy I remembered as Jake asked.
"Oh, just picking up. Order isn't ready yet," I said, glancing to Chad who gave me a small wink, and moved motioning for me to sit next to him.
"Okay, so how hungover are you?" Dave asked, taking a sip of Pepsi.
"I'm actually pretty good," I said, putting a hand on Chad's knee under the table. His hand found mine and rested over it.
"Damn, girl can hold her alochol," Dave nodded to Chad.
"Yes she can," he smiled, moving his hand from mine and putting an arm around my shoulders.
I laughed. "Oh, you boys haven't seen anything yet."
They returned my laughs and invited me to hang out with them this weekend. Chad was quiet, but when I glanced up at him, he was smiling.
"Order for Roy!" Don called out, ringing the bell that was fixed on the take-out counter.
"That's my cue," I said, saying goodbye to Chad and his friends. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hug him, or kiss him. This was uncharted territory, like much of our relationship. So, I just got up and gave them all a wave before walking to the counter to grab the large pizza.
"Thanks, Don." I said, handing him the money my mom had given me and putting the change inot Don's tip jar.
"Hey, Bel," he said, closing the cash register. "I saw you over there with those rough boys. Just be careful okay."
I tried not to get mad at Don. He had been somewhat of a father figure to me over the years and it was natural for him to be concerned, but I couldn't help but feel defensive at his implied accusation of Chad and his friends.
"Alright, Don," I said, taking the pizza and exiting.
When I made it outside, I put the box on the top of my car, my cold fingers fumbling to get the right key.
"Arabella," I heard Chad's voice behind me. I turned, smiling as he closed the distance between us. He pressed me up against the car, fingers in my hair and lips on mine. "Didn't think I'd let you go without a proper goodbye, now would you?"
"Well aren't you a gentleman," I said sweetly, sliding out of his grasp and opening the car door, beore grabbing the pizza and getting in. Chad shook his head as I put the car in reverse and backed out, a smile on my face the whole way home.
