"So, when can I properly meet her?"
I was sitting in the passenger seat of Chad's car while we were stopped for a train. He'd continued driving me to and from school since we made up -- and had taken every opportunity to bug me about meeting my mom.
"What's the rush?" I asked, looking away from the freight.
I was curious why he was so insistent on meeting her. It hadn't even been a full week since our not-so-wonderful date, and while things since had been great, I wasn't ready for it to get complicated again.
"I just want to do this right," he shrugged, glancing at the line of cars in front of us, which had started to inch forward. "I promise to be on my best behavior," he told me with a wicked smile.
"Oh, likely story," I laughed, turning the volume on the radio up. He'd actually let me pick the station today. Progress.
I repressed the urge to sing along, not ready for him to hear my nails-on-chalkboard voice.
"How about now?" he asked, pulling into my driveway, eyebrows raised.
"She isn't even home yet," I sing-songed and moved to unbuckle my seatbelt.
He put the car in park and turned the engine off before looking over to me again. I had a feeling that I knew what he ws going to say before he even began.
"So, does that mean I can come in?" His wicked, signature smile had returned.
I thought about saying no. I had a mountain of homework. Midterms were approaching and my once-manageable courseload was burying me. I opened my mouth to respond but Chad leaned over the center counsel and grazed my lips, "Please?"
I laughed and pecked his lips before sliding out of the car.
"Come on then."
I felt an exciting nervousness as I fumbled to unlock my front door. Being with Chad always gave me this sort of high -- the feeling that anything could happen.
I pushed open the heavy wooden door and let Chad follow me inside before closing and locking it behind us. We stood in the entryway a bit awkwardly for a moment. Chad had been in my house only twice, each vastly different.
Chad smiled down at me and gently put his hands on my shoulders, removing my backpack and setting it on the floor. His chest was impossibly close to mine and I could feel my breath quickening as I imagined running my hands over the muscles underneath his thin t-shirt. Before I could contemplate too much, his hands found the small of my back and pulled me against him. I blinked slowly, anticipating the kiss that didn't come. Instead, he put his lips just below my earlobe.
"Thanks for letting me use the front door," he whispered before pulling away to look at me.
I giggled softly and took a breath. I couldn't take the tension in the room anymore, deciding to act on the lust that had been clouding my every thought. "Don't get used to it," I told him, grabbing either side of his leather jacket and lifting onto my toes to sprinkle a series of kisses onto the side of his neck, up to his jaw, ending at the corner of his mouth before pulling away.
He looked dazed as I let go and settled back onto my heels. Instead of pursing another kiss, I turned and made my way to my room, knowing once the shock wore off he'd be right behind me.
As soon as I'd settled onto my bed, legs crossed, he stepped through the doorway adorning a smirk. Chad didn't waste time, only taking a second to size me up before crossing the room and pushing me back gently, propping himself up so he was staring down at me. His breath slowed and he was searching my face, for permission? Doubt? I bit my lip, losing patience. He must have found what he was looking for because a second later, he lowered his head and met my lips.
The kiss didn't nearly last long enough before Chad pulled away and moved off of me, sitting at the foot of my bed. I stayed lyind down for a few moments, catching my breath before sitting up. Chad was facing away from me and I had so many questions. The one that shadowed all the others was: why did he stop? I pushed away the slight sting of rejection and scooted toward where he was sitting. What does one even say in a situation like this? Once I'd settled in next to Chad, he stood and walked to my desk.
My brows furrowed as I watched him, he was looking through a stack of books piled on the surface among various papers and notebooks. Once he'd finished with the pile on the desk, he reached up to the shelf above, grabbing a book here and there to flip through. I stayed silent, just watching his thin fingers flip through pages, his just-long-enough hair curtain his face as his head bent over the pages.
"You have a lot," he commented, setting my copy of Hamlet back on the shelf.
"I like books," I replied lamely, looking down at my hands. He was facing my window, breaking the rays of light and leaving me in a tall, skinny shadow.
Chad just nodded, and stood there for a moment apparently deep into a thought I wasn't privy to.
"I should go," he said, finally turning. I didn't meet his eyes, knowing full-well that my expession would give away the hurt and rejection I was feeling. It never got any easier to hide. I only nodded, sitting still at my spot on the bed. Though he said he was leaving, he made no motion toward the door and I could tell he was probably staring at me. "Your mom will be home soon," he said. A half-assed explanation. I nodded again.
He stood in front of me for a few more moments, waiting for me to look at him, or to say something, but I wouldn't. His actions continued to confuse me and left me wondering what I'd done wrong. I know I should have stood up and demanded an explanation, but I couldn't. It was amazing how quickly he could drain me of any fight. I wished he'd change his mind, that he'd kneel beside me and tell me that it wasn't my fault, that he was just distracted or to give me some kind of honest explanation. But just as quickly as I'd wished it, he'd given up and exited the room.
