I took a deep breath as Zac and I walked up the driveway. This was my last chance to turn around, go back to his place and forget about this surely stupid idea. But I was already committed.
"Are you ready?" Zac asked as we approached the front steps.
"As I'll ever be."
The music was loud and the livingroom was packed when we walked through the front door. I grabbed onto Zac's jacket, not wanting to get separated. Not tonight.
He wove through the crowd of people and into the kitchen, quickly filling two plastic cups with whatever was in a giant punch bowl. "Jungle juice," he confirmed, handing one of the cups to me.
I nodded and took a big gulp. It was kind of sweet but had a really strong aftertaste and I chased it with another large gulp, knowing the only thing that would help was to get drunk enough not to notice.
I came here without any real plan, really just blinded by my anger and sadness.
"Zaaac," I slurred, my drink nearly finished.
"Hmm?" He answered, taking another sip.
"What am I doing here?" I asked, downing the last sip.
"Well, right now, you're having a drink," he said, taking my cup and refilling it.
I took the drink from him and slapped his arm. "I know that, you twat. But like, what am I going to do? Like with seeing Chad? I didn't think about it even."
Zac considered my question for a moment, taking a refill for himself. Finally, he shrugged.
"You're soooo helpful," I rolled my eyes, realizing that Zac didn't really have a plan either. "Let's go find Macy."
Zac led the way again, it wasn't long before we found Macy on the outskirts of the makeshift dancefloor.
"You're here!" she yelled over the music, giving me a quick, one-armed hug.
I nodded, looking around the room. "Where is he?" I asked, still scanning the groups of drunken, dancing bodies. I finished my second drink as Macy spoke up.
"I think they went outside. All of his friends are there... and that girl," she said awkwardly. "Bel, I know he like really fucked you over and you're mad and stuff but maybe not go out there?"
I narrowed my eyes, the hell I was just going to stay in here while he was out there with them. With her.
I grabbed Zac's nearly-full cup and chugged it before turning on my heel and walking toward the patio door.
He was there, with his group of friends and her, of course. They were all smoking and he had his arm around her waist. She was the same girl from the pizza place that day. God, I knew there was something going on with them.
I was ready to march up to him, to yell, maybe even throw the remainder of my drink in his face. But before I could, I heard my name from another group of guys to the left.
It was hard to make out who said it, but with a better look, I immediately smiled.
"Hey Joe," I said, walking over to the group.
"Good to see you," his smile was so genuine. "This is Vinny, Alex, David, and James," he introduced me.
I waved to them, taking another swig before stumbling a bit. Joe reached out to steady me. "Thanks," I said once I regained balance.
"Do you want to sit?" He asked, motioning to the lawn chairs not too far away.
"That might be a good idea," I laughed.
We traveled over to the chairs and they sat with me, making easy coversation. I'd never really talked to the soccer guys before, but they were really cool. Once the conversation lulled, I got up. "I'm going to go grab another drink."
"Are you sure you're okay?" Joe asked, looking genuinely concerned. After I nodded, he said, "Okay, well I'll come with you then."
I waved to the rest of the guys and led Joe back to the kitchen where the jungle juice was.
"I'm glad you came tonight," he said, filling his own cup and taking a sip.
"Me too," I told him. My time with him and his teammates had taken my mind off of Chad, even if it was only for a few minutes.
He moved closer to me and even drunk I knew what would happen next.
"Is it okay if I kiss you?" he asked, just inches from my face.
I exhaled. I wasn't sure if that was the best idea, given the night I've had, but my mind shifted to Chad and how he was all over that other girl right after taking me on a date. Fuck him.
I nodded and let Joe close the distance between us. His lips were soft, but forceful as they moved against mine. His arms snaked around my waist and my back hit the edge of the counter. After a few moments, I pulled back.
"I've been wanting to do that again since the last party," he said, slightly out of breath.
I heard a deep cough in the doorway, "Chad?"
He gave the two of us a poisoning look and turned on his heel without a word.
I didn't even meet Joe's eyes, stammering "I-I'm sorry I have to..." I trailed off and followed Chad out the door.
He was in the hallway, which was mostly deserted, his back still turned away from me, "Chad!"
He stopped, but didn't turn. He was waiting for me to say something but didn't even know how to start, "What the fuck?"
He turned his head, still not completely facing me. "Excuse me?"
"I said what the fuck," closing the space between us and grabbing his arm, trying to make him turn. He resisted and I gave up, willing myself to not cry, to hold onto my anger.
"You know," he said. "I could ask you the same question," finally turning my direction.
"Oh, and what's that supposed to mean? Huh? You fuck up our date and then I find you here with another girl less than two hours later. It's the girl from before. You never stopped seeing her did you? What did you even want from me?" I finished, still angry but just kind of defeated.
"Oh and you're little miss perfect, right?" he started, words venemous. "With your perfect friends and your perfect grades and your perfect family. You're such a hypocrite. You were the one that left tonight. Remember that? Couldn't take the heat so you ran away to your little jock. Is that who picked you up from the train station?" I tried to speak up, but he kept yelling. "You don't even know what you want, do you? You kiss him and then you come running back to me, twice now. Why?"
It seemed like he was finally done, but I didn't know what t say. "I don't know why," I said, sighing and sliding down the wall, sipping my drink. "But you're wrong. About everything."
