for this moment in time// h.s.

BONUS SCENE FOR CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: KISS AND (DON'T) TELL

DELETED SCENE: Morgan's Songwriting or The Time She Didn't Sleep (Again)

(Morgan's POV)

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling as though the white wall would help spark any sort of creativity. When I'd first come up here, the words had come so easily and I'd just been able to write the whole thing. Now I had a new idea, and the want, no, need to write more and that's when everything shut down.

I was tired, I knew I was tired but my head was simultaneously empty and full of the urge to create something. Anything really.

And I couldn't really do that lying on my back.

Groaning, I sat up, reaching for my notebook yet again. The music had long since died down but I wasn't going to risk going downstairs and running into somebody. So I just wrote out the melody best I could, pausing only to pray that I'd be able to decipher this tomorrow. There was no need for me to make an even bigger fool of myself than I already had.

Once that was all finished, I stared at the page, tapping the tip on my pen against it, leaving ink dots in the upper corner.

Of course now the English language just leaves me.

I looked up at the ceiling again, doing what all my Creative Writing teachers had told me to do when you couldn't come up with anything. Tell the audience a story about yourself.

Looking down at the page again, I softly muttered, "I'm staring at the ceiling yet again, thousands of thoughts." It sounded dull on my tongue. Wrong and too wordy.

Trying again, "I stare at the ceiling once again, with a hundred thoughts." Better. But something was off. I crossed out the line and finally decided.

She stares at the ceiling once again, with a hundred thoughts.

Ok, first line done, I thought, the first line was always the hardest anyways. Now just keep going. So I just started writing.

Maybe he knows who I am...maybe not.

She walks down the hall with her head held low,

Scared to meet his eyes.

Even when she hears his voice, it makes her feel alive.

No, I crossed out the last bit, drowning it in blue ink. That just sounded weird.

Even when she hears his voice, she's swarmed with butterflies.

(Piano)

I didn't know how to play piano, so in all my music that was the best I could do and then just picture it when I'm writing.

I just kept writing, letting everything pour out, allowing myself to have this one bit of happiness.

It's impossible to get you off my mind. I think about a hundred thoughts and you are ninety nine.

I've understood that you, you will never be mine. And that's...fine.

I'm just breaking inside.

He always walks the crowded halls, blinded by the lights. A girl who keeps her head down low and never shows her eyes. Yeah, he's tried to talk to her but there's no easy way.

Every Time he'll raise his voice, she'll run away.

Oh, It's impossible to get you off my mind. I think about a hundred thoughts and you are ninety nine.

I've understood that you, you will never be mine. And that's...fine.

I'm just breaking inside.

One day.

I paused, looking everything over. It seemed decent enough but now, now was about the part I had to really twist the knife. And so you had to be strategic. Do I make it sad?

Even though I knew my answer would be no. As easy as it was to write sad songs, I hated them.

So I went for hopefully, trying to make the whole thing seem like it wasn't a big deal.

One day, maybe she'll stay

And start to head over his way

And one day, she'll look into his eyes

And instead of breaking, she'll call him, "Mine"

One day, he'll grab her by the waist

And force them to meet face to face

One day, he'll look into her eyes

And say that, "You're my only light"

I could see the faintest hints of gold starting to peek through the curtains when I finally allowed myself to give into exhaustion and fall asleep.