𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗪𝗲𝗱𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗕𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘀

x.

𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝟭𝟬

"𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦"
- 𝘛𝘝, 𝘣. 𝘦𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩

✯ ✯ ✯

TW : PANIC ATTACK

I let out a breath as I finished the song, finally relaxed.

Interrupted by someone clapping from the doorway, I turned over with a small smile on my face, Hailee.

"I didn't know you could play" She started from her position before she made her way toward me.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me" I chuckled lightly, the sound sounding fake to my ears. That's your fault, and only yours, I thought.

She hummed as she observed her surroundings, probably lost in her thoughts too.

I shifted on my stool, leaving enough place if she wanted to sit. Which she did. Our thighs brushed under the piano and I started playing another song to distract myself from her appealing presence.

We didn't talk, the only sounds that could be heard were the piano keys and us humming Billie Eilish along.

"Can you play some Chopin ?" She asked when the song came to an end. "I just used to dance with my grandpa while listening to that"

"Yeah no problem" I smiled. "Do you have a prefer—"

"Girls, lunch's ready !" My brother called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Coming !" I yelled back, "Well, maybe another time" I added for Hailee, finally looking at her.

She just smiled at me and I swear I almost melted on spot.

"Let's go, the guy doesn't do waiting" I said as I stood up before offering her my hand.

She took it, and my hand filled with rings, took her delicate one with light painted nails and few golden rings adorning her gentle warm skin.

I watched our hands strangely, feeling like it belonged there the all time. The contact made my body tingle with electricity and my heart pound against my chest. She let it go and I felt empty again.

We went down the stairs, me following her, and I couldn't help myself but think about what would've happen if someone caught us.

I overthought a lot, about everything and anything, and it could be described as a bad thing. But even if it made me go into states I would die to avoid, it's always better to be prepared for the hard truth.

That's the reason why I couldn't help myself from thinking that maybe my brother would threw me out, a disgusted look on his face when he would eventually learn the truth. That I was a queer. That's the word, 'eventually'. It's not a question of if he does or doesn't but a question of time. It's not a if but a when.

Maybe he just thinks the same as my father. Or Emma does. I would never know, not for sure that I would not be rejected.

It would be all better if I just liked guys. Just them. Not girls, not her.

The through spiraled in my head as my breathing became erratic. I was suddenly unaware of my movements, I unconsciously moved or was already passed out, I couldn't tell. My ears rang and my vision clouded. The urge of throwing up went through me. My breathing accelerated every second. But the more I breathed, the less it felt like oxygen was entering my lungs.