You Belong to Me

Partly the Truth

Porchay's POV

I am tired of hearing how happy my brother is. I know I should feel happy for him, but how can I be happy? If he had not come to this mansion, he would not have gotten involved with Kinn, and I would not have had my heart ripped out. I do not blame him. He was only looking out for me and wanted to make sure I could follow my dreams and attend university.

How do I tell him that his wish is not going to come true because I skipped out on the interview? He sacrificed so much for me, but does he see that I am in pain? I barely leave this room they assigned me to in fear of running into him. This is his house. I cannot tell him he cannot be here. Oh, how I wish I could go back home.

I would like to think he still cares, as I know it had to be him that kept me alive at Yok's Bar during what everyone is calling the siege. It was probably just a job to him. Keep Porchay safe so Porsche will help Kinn. He could have stayed and talked to me after, but no, he just left me there to find 10+ dead bodies.

The day I went with Khun to pick up my medication from the hospital, I saw him. I wanted a hug or something from him that showed he still cared. Yeah, he sent me a good song that I have saved on my phone, but that does not mean anything. Not anymore. I might still love him, but his betrayal went deep.

I am going to take Dr. Top's suggestions and speak with Kinn about university. I refuse to speak with Kim, especially since he tutored me for the practical exam. Though he probably does not care because it was all done to get information on my brother. I wonder anymore if that is all I am good for.

I open my door and start walking down the hall towards Kinn's office. I hope my hia is not in there, and I hope Kinn believes what I say. I mean, it is not like I have been very nice to him. He might not even help me. If he does not, I will have to tell Hia and face his disappointment. I am not sure I can do that when he was all excited yesterday talking to our mom about me getting into university.

I faintly knock on Kinn's door. He says, "Come in". I stand there for a while. Do I really want to go in? Can I function if he says no. Maybe I should have gone to Khun instead. Yeah, I will go talk to Khun. He likes me and does not consider me to be a burden. I start to walk away when the door opens and Kinn says Porchay are you all right? Why don't you come in?

I sigh, I do not have a choice now. I enter the office and the first thing I see is Kim sitting on the one chair. I immediately turn to leave when Kim gets up and tells Kinn he is leaving and would catch him later. Kim looks at me on his way out and I just want to cry. Wait, does he have tears in his eyes too? No impossible because nothing would make Kim cry. His greatest asset is making other people cry.

Kinn shuts his door and points out the chair that Kim just vacated. I sit down knowing I will get Kim's scent from the chair. I hate that just his scent puts me at ease. Kinn looks at me from behind his desk and starts speaking.

Pochay, are you all right? Do you need me to call Porsche?

No, please do not call Hia.

Are you sure? You do not look so good.

As you know university admission notices will be coming out soon

Ah, I see. You are worried about the money. It will not be a problem. I can cover the tuition for you. I know Porsche is immensely proud of you.

Umm, I will not be getting an admission notice.

Oh, and why is that?

I did not attend my interview.

Did something happen? I thought Porsche took you himself.

Hia dropped me off but after he left, I walked away.

I see. Is there a reason you did that?

I was ashamed of myself for causing problems for you.

Why do you think you caused problems for me?

If I had not gotten kidnapped, Hia would not have left you to find me and Big would not have died.

Chay, can I call you that?

Yes. That is fine. That is what everyone calls me.

You were not to blame for getting kidnapped or Big's death. Khun said you have been depressed but I had no idea you felt this way. Do you want me to have Dr. Top come talk with you? I know Macau is seeing him and I am sure he would fit you in his schedule.

No, that is all right. Khun had him meet with me earlier this week and I made bi-weekly appointments to see him at the hospital. Please do not tell Hia.

I will not tell him Chay. You are like a brother to me. You can come to me with anything. How about I see what I can do about your university issue? I cannot promise anything, but I will see what I can do.

I appreciate it. But please do not tell Hia.

I will not tell him, but I think you should sit down and have a talk with him. I know the change was swift and it is hard to adjust but he is your older brother and cares for you a lot.

When I get things together, I will talk with him. Thank you Kinn. I am going now. I am feeling tired.

Chay gets up and walks back to his room. Hoping that Kinn will not tell Porsche and by some miracle can help him get into university. Even if he has to start a semester late. That would be better than not going.

End POV

Kinn sits back down in his chair and sighs and thinks to himself. "Shit. How in the world did Kim know that Chay is depressed and thinking he is a burden to us and how did my older brother Khun, who is crazy know he needed Dr. Top? I just hope Porsche does not find out. If he knew his brother was like this. He would move out in a heartbeat. He lives for his brother."

Kinn is worried that Porsche and he have been working too much and ignoring Chay. That is the only reason he could think of for Kim knowing about Chay. Especially since Kim rarely comes to the mansion. Secretly, he is happy that Kim talked to the university facilitator because he has been afraid of him since he had him as a professor in his first year of university. Speaking with him on behalf of Macau was enough.